My 9 month old wants to be held constantly?

Question

This is a new behavior in the past couple of days. Whenever I put her down to play, she starts crying and following me around. Is this separation anxiety? What should I do?

Answer 1

My son who is also 9mth right now is going though the same thing but it is starting to get better. I just hold him when he needs me too. I want him to feel like I am there for him when ever he needs me. Hey it give us a reason to just sit and hold our babies! :-D

Answer 2

It could be seperation anxiety, it could be illness, it could be teething, it could be almost anything.

http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/velcrochild.html
Older babies and toddlers can get really clingy at times. Sometimes it seems as if your child has been nursing all day (or all night), or has been clinging to your leg all day long (even when you go to the bathroom) and you really just need a break.

These "velcro days" usually have a cause (even if we only know after the fact): teething, illness, a developmental advance. But even when you know the reason behind a clingy episode, it can still be very frustrating, particularly if you had something you expected to get done or if you were simply anticipating some time to yourself.

Do know that each of us gets overwhelmed from time to time. Remember - these moments pass, even though it may seem like forever when you're in the middle of one of these days.

I've gathered a few tips for dealing with these "velcro" days, but I'd like to get your suggestions and experiences, too. Please e-mail me with your comments, and I'll include them here.

If your child is being particularly clingy and you're having a hard time dealing with it, take her outside for a while (or to the park, to the store, etc.). The change of scene will do both of you good.

If you feel that your child is under your feet all the time when you're trying to get things done around the house, have her help out. Toddlers love to help, and they can do things like fold small towels or diapers, dry dishes, sweep with a small broom, help set the table, wipe the counter, etc. It might take a little more time, but it can make things less frustrating for both of you and it's also a learning experience for your toddler.


Referencing some books on child development can help you figure out expectations for your child at each particular age. I like the Barron's Educational Series Keys to Parenting titles and the classic series by Ames and Ilg, Your x Year Old. Just look around wherever you see parents and children together and you'll see so many active misconceptions about what children are capable of doing and what they need to be doing at each stage. Where have our ideas come from? What are our assumptions? Are they reasonable? My oldest son was fully 2 years old before he ever sat still and played by himself. After more than a year of waiting, wishing, wanting 20 minutes to myself, when he finally sat and played for one hour nonstop I was so stunned that I "wasted" the entire hour watching him! -- Anita

[much more at the above link]

Answer 3

It could be just a phase--or a little touch of separation anxiety. Put her on the floor and sit down with her. Play toys with her for a few minutes, then, slowly, back away but stay within her range of sight. If she starts to cry, go back and sit beside her, pat her back but don't pick her up. If you do, she may start to associate crying with you rushing to grab her. Repeat the process. Also, be sure she isn't sick. Children get clingy if they are starting to feel bad. Also, at young ages, like your daughter, many babies don't understand that if Mommy is out of sight, she still exists---leave their area and they think you have disappeared forever.

Answer 4

Try to ween her off constantly. Hold her for a while, then make her get used to sitting on ur lap, then next to u up against u, then just next to u, and so on. Also dont let her regress, once she has successfully detached from you for a short time, dont give in right away when she starts crying. Obviously, shes ur baby and there is a time to hold her and love her, but if she is getting TOO dependant on being held that would be my suggestion 2 break it, gradually ween her contact down. But in my opinion shes 9 months and wants her mommy lol, so i wouldnt worry 2 much now

Answer 5

Separation anxiety. Normal. Hits around 8 months. Just hold her as much as you can. She needs it, she wants it and she will only have this "stage" once. Find a way to cherish it.

Answer 6

so long as there isn't some sort of recent change that's causing her to react this way {a big change in daily schedule, new people or maybe even a noisy new toy!}, then it sounds like something she'll outgrow. check the environment to make sure there's nothing truly upsetting her, then, when she fusses and follows, just let her. she will either realize she's just fine or she'll find a way to soothe herself. either way, she grows a little, and becomes a bit more independent. and isn't that the final goal? to prepare her for life on her own?

Answer 7

It's normal. Mine went through that stage too. It's aggravating and you can't get much else done, but she feels that she needs you, and you need to respond to her. Your response will teach her that she can trust youl, and she will out grow this stage and be more independent and secure because of it.

Have patience! Good luck!

Answer 8

All babies go through this clingy phase. It will pass. Give her the attention that she wants. I used to let my little one follow me around and I talked to her constantly and we sang and did all sorts of silly things and she eventually got through it and moved on. Eventually your little one won't want you helping her and doing things with her. They are sometimes polar opposites.

Answer 9

Rub her down with gravy and get a Basset Hound to lick her clean. You accomplish the following:
1. Baby is entertained
2. Baby gets a bath
3. Dog gets fed
4. Dog gets exercise.

Answer 10

It's a stage. Start slowly by having others be with her and she'll start feeling okay in your absense.