please dont forget to put the answer
2007-02-19 12:57:08 · 15 answers · asked by :) 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I have holes on the top and bottom. I have holes on my left and on my right. And I have holes in the middle, yet I still hold water. What am I?
ans. im a sponge
2007-02-19 13:03:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey there,
A very good site that teaches how to draw realistic pencil portraits is http://pencilportraits.toptips.org
I have searched so many sites on the internet for so many years (wasting my time really) to try and better my drawing/sketching style but have never succeeded getting pasted the flat 2D outcome; that is until I tried using some special methods I found on http://pencilportraits.toptips.org. This is exactly what I have been searching for and with time on my hands I have the outcome I have always wanted. I bought this online course. I strongly recommend it.
Have a nice day
2014-09-17 23:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 87 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few
days later ,the doctor saw the man walking down the street with
a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later ,when
the old man had an appointment with the doctor again ,the doctor
said,"You're really doing great, aren't you?" The old man replied,
"Just doing what you said doctor," Get a hot mama and be cheer-
ful." The doctor said,"I didn't say that!" I said you have got a heart
murmur. . Be Careful.."
2007-02-19 21:51:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four cars came up to a four-way intersection at the very same time. After a minute or so, all four cars take off at the very same time. There was no collision but they were all able to go. How did all four cars in each direction get to their destinations without crashing into each other?
Ans: They all made a right-hand turn!
2007-02-19 21:20:17 · answer #4 · answered by Ms* Shae* 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, "Where have you been?"
"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few."
"I did alright," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
2007-02-19 22:16:25 · answer #5 · answered by MuZzZ 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
a post office in liverpool had a sign in the window saying "wanted for armed robbery" 25 people applied
2007-02-20 09:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by crawdash 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why did the orange stop rolling down the road?
A:It ran out of juice!!
CLASSIC JOKE LOL
2007-02-20 02:29:09 · answer #7 · answered by ricky d 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.
She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.
The blonde replies "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail".
~~~~~
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
~~~~
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
~~~~
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
~~~~
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City. The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
~~~~
Did you hear about the blonde who took a book out of the library called How to Hug, only to discover that it was volume seven of the encyclopedia?
~~~~
blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up.
The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt.
"Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?"
~~~
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands.
They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, �Okay, we'll give him one more try.
We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!�
2007-02-19 21:49:18 · answer #8 · answered by kim 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yeh, but can`t post it again, got a violation last night and it cost me 10 points, shame cos it was a good one, sob sob.
2007-02-21 06:50:29 · answer #9 · answered by newciderman 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There was this kid in kindergarten and his teacher told him to learn his ABC's and come tomorrow and recite them.So he went home, got a piece of paper and a pen.He went to his mom and asked,"Mommy,what's the first letter of the ABC's?"The kid's mom was on the phone and was really mad at the person at the other end.So she shouted "SHUT UP"to the other guy at the other end.But the kid thought she was talking to him so he wrote down SHUT UP as the first letter of the alphabet.Then he went to his older sister's room and asked "Britney,what's the second letter of the ABC's?"His sister Britney was on the phone talking to her boyfriend.They had decided to go out on Sunday so Britney danced around shouting "OH YEAH,OH YEAH, OH YEAH!!"So the kid wrote down OH YEAH,OH YEAH, OH YEAH as the second letter of the alphabet.Then he went to his younger brother and he was watching Batman.The kid asked his younger brother what was the third letter of the alphabet.The younger brother didn't pay attention and said,"nanananana BATMAN!!"So the kid wrote down nanananana BATMAN!!! as the third letter of the alphabet.Then he went to his dad and asked."Daddy?What's the fourth letter of the ABC's?"His dad was watching a football game and shouted,"FOURTY-NINERS FOURTY NINERS!!"So the kid wrote down fourty niners fourty niners on his paper.Then he went to his grandpa and he asked."What's the fifth letter of the alphabet?"The grandpa was unclogging the toilet and he was saying "Down the toilet,Down the toilet."
SO, the next day he went to school.The teacher asked him wat was the first letter of the alphabet.He shouted,"SHUT UP!"The teacher was shocked and said"Benjamin Thorman,go to the principal's office!!!"Then the boy said,"OH YEAH,OH YEAH, OH YEAH"Then at the principals office the principal asked,"What's your name young man?"The boy answered "Nanananana BATMAN!!!"Then the principal got mad and asked,"HOW MANY SPANKS DO YOU WANT?!"The boy answered,"FORTY NINERS FORTY NINERS!!"Then the principal shouted "WHERE DO YOU LIVE!!!!"Then the boy said"DOWN THE TOILET,DOWN THE TOILET."
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There was this RICH man who lived in a round house.He had 5 maids and he was gonna go on a business trip.He told the maid to not let his sons play video games.But when he came back,his sons were playing video games.So he went to each maids and asked who let his sons play video games?
The First Maid:"I did the laundry"
The Second Maid:"I was cleaning out the garage"
The Third Maid:"I was cleaning the corner"
The Fourth Maid:"I was doing the dishes."
The Fifth Maid:"I was vacuming."
WHICH OF THEM WERE LYING?
answer:The third maid.They lived in a round house.
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There were 5 people who had 4 children each,who had 5 children,who had 4 daughters who had 3 sons who had 2 children.
WHAT STATE ARE WE IN?
answer:California(or the state you are in.the part where it talks about all the people and the children doesn't matter.The main question is WHAT STATE ARE WE IN?If you're in Arizona,the answer is Arizona.If you're in Maine,the answer is Maine.
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2007-02-19 22:37:11 · answer #10 · answered by Lolly_Pop 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋