Call to tell someone they can't bring an uninvited guest?

Question

The RSVP's are due for the wedding. My fiance's aunt as passed word along that they did RSVP Saturday, we should get it anyday.

Problem is...she added an extra person.

We invited her & her husband. They have no kids. This woman isn't known in her family for having much in the manners department.. She has randomly invited her sister to tag along with her & her husband, a sister my fiance & I have never even met. She even commented that she asked her sister to come along because "everyone likes free food & cake."

Of course it's not free to us. That's an extra table sitting which may end up making us add another table & centerpiece plus chair cover rentals & another $35 meal. All for an uninvited, unknown guest.

Is it ok to call this aunt once we get the RSVP in & tell her she can't bring her sister? We only planned for so many people. My fiance doesn't mind, he also says his mom wont. Just not sure how to go about it since I'm sure she'll have a tantrum.

Wanted to add I wouldn't be the one calling unless everyone else, for whatever reason, refused to. My fiance' has already said he'd call if his mother wouldn't. He thought his mom may be more comfortable doing it though, due to it being her sister in law.

Answer 1

Yes it is appropriate to contact guests who RSVP for additional guests not invited to the reception. Typically the bride or (mother of the bride) contacts guests on the bride's side of the family and the groom (or the mother of the groom) contacts guests on his side of the family. Your fiance or his mom should inform her that unfortunately you are not able to accommodate any extra guests to the reception. If she genuinely concerned, she will respect you and your fiance's wishes. But I wouldn't let it get to you if she gets upset or decides not to attend. You will not be able to please everyone. Just focus on having a great day with your fiance regardless of who attends.

Answer 2

OMG I went thought the same thing with one of my Bridesmaids. I invited Her and her husband. Shortly there after they decided to divorce. Suddenly she had a new boyfriend (ya I know) I had to nut up and find a way to tell her that he couldn't come.
-What I did with her as well as with a few other people was I politely explained that the location that we had chosen, had a capacity limit. Due to the limit and the number of guests that had sent back their RSVP's we were hitting the limit and additional guests could not come. Explain that you need to save the seats for the guests that are/were invited. If that is a lie so be it. It is rude to invite someone to just eat your food and your cake if they are not there to celebrate you and your fiance's union they don't belong there.

Answer 3

I would leave it to your future mother in law if she would. You don't want to get the new Aunt upset before you are even married if your mother won't do it I would have your future hubby. It is rude for her to invite another guest without your permission let her know that you can't afford an extra guest because if you do then it will put you ay over buget because you will have to rent another table, linensplace setting and not to mention the the extra tab for food.

Answer 4

Yes, it most certainly is ok to tell her she cannot bring a guest. We had the same problem with our wedding. Some people just don't get that you are paying for them to come, and it is not just "free food." Call her and explain that you only have a budget for so many people, and you cannot afford to invite people who are not close family or friends. Hopefully she will understand and be mature about it. Good luck!

Answer 5

It's absolutely appropriate for you to decline the univited guest. And you need very little explanation except that you have a certain number of guests allowed and the univited guest is not one of them. And don't feel bad either. The aunt did not feel bad about inviting this other person, so why should you feel bad for telling her she can't come.

Answer 6

have your finace tell her not you. Its his family and family telling family is better. Having you do the dirty work will just make it worse thinking that you are not a very nice person in her eyes and blame you for this.So have your man tell her and get him to call her and tell her about this other person, tell him that hes sorry but there's just isnt going to be enough room and its adding to bills that are already too high. Tell her that hes sorry but she needs to uninvite this other guest. She will get over it and will either come or dont, either way its fine, its your wedding you shouldnt worry about it.
Congrads!

Answer 7

Yes it is ok to call her and tell her her sister cannot come. Make it known that you have limited seating so you are limiting the guest list. If she pouts and says "if she can't come we won't come" then say "ok, so you are changing your rsvp to you and your husband are unable to attend?"

Good luck.

Answer 8

for my section it might want to correctly be taken as rude by some human beings. What I advise is inviting the guy over before and intduce them to at least one yet another. in the experience that they prefer one yet another factor out it casually on the phone an afternoon before the play ingredient. If he sounds damage merely say i did not tell him yet so its cool he would not might want to come! i wish this allows!

Answer 9

Why do people feel bad about having to correct the wrongs of others. It's not you who are the one being rude. It was rude and presumptuous on their part. I would tell them they are not invited. Especially when you have to foot the bill for someone who wants a "Free Meal" thanks to you. Don't feel bad about it. Someone can tactfully get you out of it. Congratulations and Good Luck!!! :)

Answer 10

I say, let it go. It's your fiance's Aunt, you want to rock the boat this way? So be graceful and gracious and let it go....be warm and friendly and loving. She's not known for her manners, well maybe she just struggles with social settings, and she probably didn't mean any harm by her comment. I say wait till all the RSVP's are in, surely someone can't make it, and you won't be forced to do a whole new table etc....be gracious and you'll feel better about yourself.....