Is it Normal for a 22 Year Old College Guy to Have Never Dated?

Question

I'm a 22 year old college guy at an Ivy League school. I have never dated (virgin, ect.). Tell me the bad news - its hopeless, right? Are there a lot of guys my age who have never dated?

If you had to estimate - what percentage of the American male populace has never dated over 20? 10%? 20%? I'm not religious or anything (I'm an agnostic). Is it possible to go through life unscathed without ever having dated or having been in love? I heard that males who are single cut off approximately 20 years from their lives. This is terrible news for me - I want to live at least until 80 - and now theres a possibility that my life will be cut short because I have never been in love? WTF.

I really hope I'm not missing out on anything. Some people tell me that I'm really not missing out on anything anyways. Is this true? Let me know your thoughts.

Answer 1

First, let me say that there are no set rules for when you are supposed to start dating or getting serious with someone. If you are happy with your life right now, why complicate it?

You may feel that it is better to be alone than to be with someone you are not meant to be with.

On the other hand, what is it that is preventing yoyu from dating? Do you lack the desire to date? Have you ever wondered why you do not date? Have you ever spoken with a counselor or therapist about your feelings?

What is normal for someone your age is to have deep feelings for another and to want to be with that person. If these feelings are absent, or are confusing to you in any way, then you really do need to talk with a trained therapist about them.

Yes, while it is true that men who live out their lives being alone do not fair as well as men who find a companion with whom to share, that by itself is not the reason you should date.

There are other, deeper issues involved here.

Answer 2

trust me...you will have someone enter your life. you will get married and you will have a child of your own. you just can't see it right now. be patient. i wish somehow you could understand this. i can't help to think that you could rise above this funk with a good medical workup. you can't give up on yourself. you are all that you have. their are people out there much worse off and cannot be nowhere you are now. seize the zest, embrace it. smell the ocean, feel the rain, see the flowers grow, hear the birds sing. you have so much. be thankful.