Thinking about having an affair, what are the pros and cons?

Question

I have been married 13 years and always been faithful. I have had thoughts of having an affair alot and would like some outside input

Answer 1

First of all you should ignore all the replies condeming you to hell for thinking of having an affair. They are coming from people who can only think of the pain they would feel if they themselves were cheated on (and rightfully so). Of course, no one wants to be cheated on, but I understand that is not what you were asking.

You did not say you were having an affair, you said you were thinking about it. Thoughs of having an affair are not unusual. After all, we are constantly bombarded with exciting portrayals of affairs in movies and on tv. You can hardly be blamed for wanting some of that excitement for yourself. I suspect that some of the "condemning" replies you got came from people who have, in fact, themselves fantasized about the excitement of having an affair.

You should be proud of the fact that you have been faithful for 13 years. Just because you have thought about cheating does not make you a terrible person. By no means do I think you should have an affair, but to answer your question, the pros are the initial feelings of excitement of being with someone new. But these pros quickly turn into cons as you have to deal with the guilt you will feel, the pain you may cause, the damage to your reputation if you get caught, and the pain of losing him when the affair ends.

So, I think the cons far outweigh the pros. You should focus on one relationship at a time. I think you need to assess your relationship with your husband. If you are not happy, maybe it's time to start thinking about getting a divorce.

Good luck.

Answer 2

hasit happened to you? would you want it to happen to you? what does an affair say about the other party.? will you expect your affair lover to be faithful? If so why? there are no pros to an affair.You place a trust in your mate, a belief that all others are now and till death forsaken. I'd rather have my mate say "I hate you, dont wanna be with you anymore, I'm dumping you." I'd rather hear that than to find out she cheated. is this how you really want it to be,because if you cheat and end up divorced he will win. You will be the adulterer, the slut and whatever else others may think of you. God, I hope you dont have kids. Get marriage help or a divorce. ickk, I feel dirty just having answered this question.

Answer 3

Sounds as if you are either very bored in your marriage or tired of being in it. Many people have those same thoughts but choose not to act upon them, then, there are some who choose to do so.

Are you still in love, but seeking some fun on the side? Or are you tired of your marriage and want to have an affair but stay married. Either way, the choice is yours. You're an adult, you know the pro's and con's...

If he is faithful to you, then you might want to think about it..if he is not, then let him go and then have your fun..but don't hurt his feelings... what if it were him asking the same question you are asking us...how would it make you feel?

Answer 4

There are no "pro" arguments to having an affair. You aren't just cheating (and yes, an affair is cheating) on your husband, but on your marriage, your vows, and your commitment. Do you have children? Imagine what this could do to them.

Your post about the guy who said you were his destiny mentioned you were in a failing marriage. Fine. Recognize that. Recognize what is causing it. Try and repair the cause. Seek counseling.

My parents divorced when I was 12. It was hard on me, and hard on my brothers. My brothers and I all married later in life as a result... my middle brother was 35, my youngest brother was three weeks short of 40, and I (the oldest) was 45. All of us wanted to be sure we would marry the true woman we wanted to spend our lives with.

While it has only been 8 months for me, I've never been happier. We've faced a few obstacles (surgery for me is one of them) but we weathered things TOGETHER.

Answer 5

What is wrong with u?Have u forgotten your vows? The man u have been with for 13 years means that less to u? I think if u want an affair then u should give your husband the respect he deserves and give him a divorce first.

Answer 6

I am a true beleiver in what the Bible says about marriage. It tells us do not commit adultery. If the person's wife finds out she may become very jealous. It may also cause a split up of a marriage. Do you really want to take that kind of chance? Would you want your marriage to be broken because, you were'nt faithful? Think of how many people's lives could be messed up, if you are unfaithful. Please be intellegent, and make a smart choice.

Answer 7

no longer something incorrect with relationship somebody - yet relationship as room pals positioned an entire new spin on the ball. you're definately in a very akward project. you have pointed out the region as a topic - adhere on your intestine. enable's say you provide in - and have a relationship with this guy or could I say your room mate - which greater desirable than probably end devoid of postpone - leaving undesirable emotions for one or the two one in each of you. i can not even variety something of this - your an grownup - think of it by - understanding that each and each action has a reaction. and on your case - it impacts others - no longer only that of you.

Answer 8

You'll have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and see a lying, cheating whore. Can you handle being a lying cheating whore?

Answer 9

Con... it is illeagal.... Pro... you get to have another piece of fun in your life... btw... I am up for some fun....

Answer 10

get a divorce, never cheat!