How do you forgive, at four in the morning?

Question

Buddhists, Christians, Daoists, and, for all I know, most other major religions and philosophies say that you should forgive others for the hurts that are done to you, and forgive yourself for the hurts you have done. Some of these groups even tell you how to live your life that way, at least in the long run.

But when you're wide awake at four in the morning, and all you can think of is the pain you have felt, and the pain you have caused - how do you let it go long enough so that you can go to sleep? How do you force yourself hating at four in the morning, when your mind is racing, and you can't sleep, and you can't forgive?

Answer 1

Do not go back to sleep. Get up -- get down on your knees -- and pray. Listen to God -- ask for forgiveness for the things you have done wrong -- and remember that God has forgiven you of your sins. Pray that you, too, can have the same forgiving heart. And then just be silent in your prayers -- and listen for the voice of God. He will bring comfort and a forgiving spirit to you.

Answer 2

Forgiveness is a decision! When you break the word down you get For, as in "before", and give as in "selfless surrender of a thing." So really forgiveness is something you must decided to do before you encounter a need for forgiveness. Its a hard thing to do but it can be done. For example, more than 50% of all marriges end in divorce in America. I believe the reason, for the most part, is because people marry people out of lust, for the "big day", but when the honeymoon is over there is a real person who has flaws, is fickle, and does not worship the ground you walk on that you must deal with. That requires a decision before marriage to accept the person with all their flaws and then purpose to forgive them before you get to the point that forgiveness is needed. If that were done more often then marriges would last a lifetime. As for forgiveness of self it is the same thing. I understand that there are somethings that happen in life that you can't anticipate but if you make the decision today that there is nothing you could ever do to yourself that you can't forgive youself for right this minute, then life won't be as bad to deal with in this area. Try it! Let go and forgive yourself right now for things you've already done and for the possibility of the things that you might do in the future. Remember no one is perfect and we all mess up sometimes so it isn't too far fetched that you will make another mistake in the future. Just forgive yourself right now before you get there!

Answer 3

have a brandy or some warm milk. get some sleep. you are the one who's hurting. don't do this to yourself.

some things are more forgivable when it's not four in the morning. some things are unforgivable. sometimes we don't have any reason to forgive. sometimes we have reasons that would make it so much simpler if we could forgive, but we can't - then we just have to make the best of our new situation, until we can choose to forgive based on what is best for us and those who live with us rather than stay angry and hurt for a very good reason.

btw, i'm jewish, not that it matters, but you did mention religion. everything will work out. take care.

Answer 4

Forgiveness is a process that one works thru. Rarely does it happen instantly except when it comes to God's forgiveness.

My suggestion is to quit being focused upon whatever it is that is causing the upset. When the thoughts come up, replace them with a positive thought. It takes time. It means that you are responsible not to dwell on things. Do positive things that by the action you refute he wrong that you have done (if you have stolen, steal no more approach).

Not what you may want to hear - but it is going to take time.

Answer 5

Religions tell you to forgive, but they don't give you the power to forgive. The only way you can truly forgive a real hurt is through the message of the cross.
The hurt somebody did you is like a debt they owe you now. You need first to calculate what that debt is. Recognize the harm done, and the anger you feel. Talk to God about it. Describe your feelings to Him, and what you feel the person would deserve. (Bythe way, you can't shock God even if you try!). Don't make excuses for the person. Then meditate on how Jesus was treated at the cross. He accepted it voluntarily to take our debt on Himself. And He said, of his tormentors, "Father, forgive them...".
Make the conscious decision to assume the pain that the person in question caused you, that you are willing to assume the "debt".
"Forgive us our debts, even as we forgive our debtors".

Answer 6

Bonjour madam lol, very humorous, heres one for you: A cop pulls over a automobile load of nuns. The cop says, "Sister, this would be a fifty 5 MPH highway. Why are you going so sluggish?" The Sister replies, "Sir, I observed extremely some warning signs that mentioned 40-one, no longer fifty 5." The cop solutions, "Oh, Sister, that's no longer the cost shrink, that's the call of the line you're on!" The Sister says, "Oh! stupid me! thank you for letting me understand. i would be greater careful." At this factor, the cop seems interior the backseat the place the different nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's incorrect with your persons lower back there? they're shaking some thing undesirable." The Sister solutions, "Oh, we purely have been given off highway a hundred and one." lol rejoice with aurevoir

Answer 7

I would pray and wait for forgiveness to come. In the meantime take a sleeping pill and get some sleep. Forgiveness does not come spontaneously, it grows.

Answer 8

Take a Xanax and leave the forgiving for another day..

Answer 9

Don't cause others pain in the first place. Then you won't have to worry about it.

Answer 10

throw in a funny movie and stop thinking so much, it'll pass