Should i say anything?

Question

When i was growing up from the age of i think 15, my dad used to ask me to **** him off... it all started when we were sitting in the front room and as we were very close i used to sit with him and give him a cuddle, i think he said something mean and to be nasty i think i flicked him on the groin area. i cant really remember how it progressed from there but it turned out that he would say to be that he would buy me whatever i wanted if i did. i think i should have known at that age it was wrong but i thought i would have got told off or he would have gone into one of his moods. we were always close but i htink that may have been because i was scared of not being so. as i grew up my dad would be very violent towards me and that was from a very very young age. i used to go into school saying i was mugged from the bruising and cuts. it turned out in the end that he told me to take my knickers off and lay on the bed, he didnt insert himself but put his penis between my legs and told me to

close them while he rubbed in between. he ejeculated but nothing came from it. i was scared in a way but didnt really know what was what. i think that was the last straw and he didnt ask me again, he always said that although i was oay with it then that i would hate him for it when i was older. it is now effecting me as when i have sex with my partner of 3 years i get flashbacks and want to draw away. my parents are still together in a happy marraige with my younger sister living away from me now. i know he is not doing anything like this with her for definate. should i seek councilling, or is it my fault and am i sick to have gone with it in the first place. i cant tell my boyfriend as i know he would go on a mad one at my dad. please help. thanks

i am 23 now and want children of my own

Answer 1

I also was molested as a child .I was molested by my grandfather THAT DIRTY OLD MAN! He is dead now and God will judge him. I never got counseling for but it doesn't bother me anymore. I was very young and most of it I don't remember .When I became a teenager he would tell me he would buy me something if I would be good to him and I would trick him. I found out later in life that he ended up molesting most of the grand-daughters in the family .So please don't just assume your sister isn't being molested by your dad also. You should assume that she is also going through the same thing you had to endure.PLEASE for your sake go get counseling and also find out about your sister. Oh and to answer the question about should you say anything .You should first get counseling and tell you b/f ,there should be no secrets, after that then decide if you should tell your mother and sister.I hope you can find your peace.

Answer 2

Yes, you need counseling. You already know that. So get counseling on a regular basis until you realize that no, it was not your fault..Because it wasn't!
Kids can be put in some unsavory situations with adults who know better but take advantage anyway. This is why it's so important to stay close to kids as much as possible while they are young and growing - but I can see that you will want to protect your own kids when you have them with much more personal knowledge of what can happen.
If the first counselor you see doesn't help you make progress in thinking about this, see another.

Answer 3

You poor thing, this was NOT your fault but you are still having some remorse from it and you need to get help to overcome the abuse that your father put you through. You are not the only person that this has happened to so you could probable find some group therapy. You need to tell some one about what happened to you if for no other reason than to stop the same thing from happening to your sister. Whats up with your mother does she not know whats going on if she doesn't than you should tell her and if she does know what is going on that she is just as much to blame as your father is. Get some professional help because it is obvious that this is still bothering you in a negative way.

Answer 4

Remember he was the adult here and you were the child. However, you need to go to counseling to help you deal with the past and help you with your future. I really think you should have a discussion with your sister, because once a preditor always one. There was something wrong with his wiring back then to make him do that, whose to say he's not feeling that way at times. It only takes one time to ruin your sisters life too. However, first go to counseling for YOU and find your peace and answers through it. You may find you have to say something and again you may not, in any case, that will be your decision. You may find you have to forgive him to help YOU move on, not to get him off the hook. Good luck dear, don't put this behind the back burner, take care of it once and for all as you are getting into relationships, and as you stated wanting to have children in the future.

Answer 5

What your father did to you was a violation of trust and against the law. It is not something that a father should do with his daughter or any other child. You say that your parents are still happily married, well, I think that if your mother knew what kind of man he is she might not feel so happy in the marriage. He's not a good man. You should get counseling. You didn't deserve what he did, and it's not your fault, even if you think you 'let' him. Trust me, he was the only one who was wrong.

Answer 6

Sarah it's not your fault what father try to do , but its clear what he wanted to do. Its quiet common what happend between u your father . But I would suggest that u confront your father as its affecting your life as well as get some help. I don't think u should tell your husband about it as these things are quite unpredictible but try to hint him as he would help u .All the best * I'am sorry u had to face all these things in your childhood.

Answer 7

the first time when it happened you are 15 but not 10 or below...when you are close enough to cuddle with your father...and you don't know up to what extend you could go by cuddling?....something UN believable....or let me ask you one question....say..from your classmates...if one of the guys want to touch your .---------" would you allow him? would you help him to touch freely?....and if you are not protesting...means both of them are enjoying it right...?.....ok....dear whatever I have written here is my anger/frustrations towards you....forget it....and don't tell anybody else even to your bf....try to seek/go for counseling..and try to know about your sister/father relationship..and avoid asking her directly...and as somebody said in their answers above me....I cannot agree with them...after all these years if you want to complain now...means you are going to break many peoples Peace of mind ....forget it and take as the past is past...but definitely you should go for the counseling....

Answer 8

You dont know that he is not doing the same to your sisters..you need to go to the police he is a sick and dangerous man and you need counselling..think of your sisters.

Answer 9

Tell your bofriend. You'll be glad someone knows and he'll be supportive and you'll be happy you did. I feel sorry for you but disgusted with you father.

Answer 10

Your father is a sick man what he did is incest and is a crime How do you know your sister is safe have him charged.