What's your funniest martial arts story/experience?

Question

Guess I should add one meself. Went to a course out of town, it was a high ranking Japanes sensei. It was a big gym but it was really full of karateka of all standards and ages. Anyways one of the younger kids must have been a bit more excited than the rest of us and he managed to relieve himself in the middle of the dojo. What made it all the funnier was watching guys doing their kata and keeping one eye on the puddle on the floor . With sensei there they didn't know whether to adjust their stances (kata on tippy toes) or show attitude and wade on thru. Great lesson on bystander apathy. Fun E.

Answer 1

My old Kung fu instructor went to see a Japanese Karate master doing a demonstration at some exhibition.
He got a UK black belt to spar against him. The UK guy did not land a single blow.
At the end when they came to bow, the uk guy slapped the master in the side of the face and said "I knew I could get you somehow".
The master went absolutely balistic at the break of protocol.
The UK black belt ran away and held a table up to protect himself.
The master punched right through the table, breaking it in half and knocking out the black belt, before bowing again.

Hilarious, and totally asked for.

Answer 2

You Sir, are a wanker. You theory being that girls shouldn't learn martial arts in case the attacker knows martial arts also is a tiny bit flawed. If you, who I presume are learning martial arts end up in a fight with a superior fighter, does that mean you should never have learnt it in the first place? What about the discipline, fitness and overall fun of learning such an art? Does this mean nothing? The male looks stronger because he most likely is! This is one of the differences between men and women - strength and muscle mass. But did anyone ever tell you that the stronger fighter doesn't always win? It helps sure, but sometimes (and perhaps more often) a more skilled fighter will come through. I thank goodness that I've taught my two girls how to fight since they were so little they were wearing nappies. If they ever run across an ignoramus like yourself at least they will be able to escape you. Finally, what the heck does IM NOT RACIST have to do with it??? No, at least in this post you are not. Sexist - sure, an idiot - absolutely. Racist - not that I can see - hope that makes you feel better about yourself. Moron.

Answer 3

Back in the early 1970's, at my first formal Instructor's home (class's in his basement). I was around 10 or 12 years of age and he also had two of his boys learning Tang Soo Do at that time. Class was over and a couple of us kids stayed downstairs and we started playing around, one thing lead to another and the next thing I know I was telling a couple of jokes. We all starting laughing and then came the question, "do you know any dirty jokes, the boys asked". Yeah!, so I told this knock, knock joke and we starting laughing once again and the old man came back down.
What so funny he asked, the boys told the joke and he was not too happy with me.
He said, "you come here for lesions then you tell the boys dirty jokes!", "what's wrong with you...get out of here.
Scared and not knowing just what to say other then I'm sorry, I left and did not return for almost ten years.
I then made my way up to a red belt then left on my terms, only to in-roll in a regular school.

(77)

Answer 4

We were practising take downs and it is common enough for a junior (that's me) to work with a more senior grade, so I throws this rather attractive slight lady to the floor (well controlled I did not hurt her 'yet!). Then the plan was you punch them in the face when they are down, I stepped between her open legs and my shin bone made a horrible clunk as it hit her pubic bone. If you have ever heard a human bone being hit you will know that sound. Yukky ouchy noise! She was l a lot less disturbed by it than I was - thankfully. Still get a chill thinking about it now

Answer 5

My favorite, just cuz it was my little bro. He was using a staff, now i can understand maybe nunchucks, but he hit the back of his head with the staff and passed out.

Another one i liked was one guy decided to put dip in during class. You could really smell the tobacco and the instructor blamed another kid (about 15) for it. Made the kid do laps in a different room for 10 min. So of course the guy with the dip was still in the room the whole time and the smell was still there. When the kid came back the instructor commented on how the room still stunk while he wasn't in it. Made him do pushups/situps....other sort of thigns like that for most of the rest of the class.

Teacher let him jump back into class and decided he wanted us to do upsidedown pushups (handstand)...for some reason. So the guy with the dip in was holding this kids legs but was only holding onto to his pants. Kid fell over and the pants came right off.

Last favorite one....THere was a really hot teacher. She told a guy to lay down and she mounted him and put him in a choke hold. She asked him what he would do to get out of this and he replied "absolutly nothing"

Answer 6

The funniest and most irritating thing that happened was when one day I had to instuct the class. Normally, this is no biggy. But, that day was odd because the person to show up for the adult class was Scott. To put things in perspective I have a brown belt in Choi Kwang Do, While Scott has Four black belts in Ninjitsu and two Shoalin. So here I am trying to teach a ninja master basic white belt concepts. God, that was a long slow night.

Answer 7

I was at an audition and the part called for a "karate" guy. Everyone there had their line("And this is what I can do..."). I guess ya had to be there, but, seeing all these guys repeating the line and then striking a pose and do kicks and stuff was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Imagine all the non-martial artist doing chops and kicks with their tongues out and the loud, high
pitched yells. I was rollin...

Answer 8

Watching a vary old gentleman split his GI bottoms and he wasn't wearing any underpants. Yes everything fell / hung out all over the place. Not a pretty sight!

Seeing someone get a strike between the legs with a Karma that ripped their GI but did not cause any injury. He went white as a sheet!

Oh and getting kicked out of the local parish hall for practising ninjutsu. They said it wasn't very Christian?

lol

Regards

Idai

Regards Idai

Answer 9

I also had an expulsion of gas when being stretched during a pairing up session but I also 'followed through'. I was mortified because as you may well know those kind of expulsions sound really suspect, and everybody heard it!!! I limped out of the session and went straight home and washed my underwear.

I found a new hobby after that.

Answer 10

Many years ago my husband (before we were married) and I were on hol, walking thru the backstreets of the town looking at all the lil interesting shops. I saw a martial arts shop across the road and grabbed his hand and said come and look at this quick. It took me a few minutes of thinking 'those aint nunchucks' to realise that the sign actually said 'marital aids'. This was doubly embarrasing as at this stage of the relationship we had never 'done it' and here I was, enflamin his desires in public lol
I never go shoppin without my specs these days

Answer 11

I had a friend who knew karate and this huge wrestler guy kept challenging him. Finally, one day they squared off. the wrestler squatted down, made a mean face and came at my friend Jim. We all expectd Jim to fight back with flying kicks, etc, but he just kinda hunkered down and let the big goon grab him in a bear hug. But as soon has he did he grabbed the guys trunks and pulled real hard and fast, so that the goon's nuts were being squeezed and he was getting like a wedgie at the sametime! That broke the hold pretty quick, then Jim went to town with a nonstop flurry of punches and chops and it was so funny cause big boy was just there getting hammered with his asscheeks hanging out. He finally laid him out with an uppercut and his buddies had to carry him off. didn't bother "JIm the Giantkiller" again!