In your wedding, who paid for what?

Question

I'm curious, as in my family, the bride's family have paid for the day reception, invites, cake etc. and the groom's parents have paid for the night do. The more I read up on this, I do not know if it is the norm. What do you think?

Answer 1

I don't think that it is the same as it used to be. As far as I am led to believe (in Scotland!), the bride's family pay for almost everything. The Best Man however is supposed to pay for the hire of the cars to ensure that the bride gets to the ceremony.
When my husband and I got married (his 2nd !) we paid for almost everything ourselves. Parents not in a position to do it. I think there is too much pressure on the parents and I don't think that is fair. My mum, paid for the bus to get guests from the church to the reception and home at the end of the night - only because she insisted. My Dad, paid for nothing, his present to me was my wedding cake which his wife made for me (don't get me wrong an excellent job and I was pleased that she wanted to make it for me)
I think nowadays its what the individual can afford to do, but as I say I think an awful lot of pressure is put on the parents.
If the bride and groom want this and that then they should finance it themselves. And accept gifts graciously.

Answer 2

My parents paid for my wedding reception and my husband and I paid for my daughters reception and paying for the other daughter this year. We also are paying for lots of other things to do with the wedding and have got them furniture of whatever for their actual wedding present from us (we're in Scotland) On the 3 occassions I refer to the grooms parents did not pay anthing whatsoever towards the actual wedding but were most kind in what they gave them as wedding gifts as in domestic applicances/furniture. Other things were/are being paid for by the couple getting married. However, I appreciate we were perhaps quite fortunate to be able to do this. At the end of the day there is really not a right and a wrong way. Lots of weddings the couples pay themselves and I would say almost all parents depending of their circumstances give the best they can afford when their son/daughter is being married. It is also quite common here for the grooms parents to pay half or the reception with the brides parents or to pay one third with the brides parents and the couple themselves. Another thing here popular is for the grooms parents to pay for the drinks at the reception. Unless it is a venue like a hired hall mostly here if in a hotel after the meal the guests buy their own drinks.........know in some countries you will gasp at this....and often the brides father goes round buying drinks or leaves a substantial amount behind the bar. Usually what is supplied is a Welcome Drink of Charmpagne or wine etc on arrival. Same for a toast when the cake is being cut, choice of wine and top ups during meal, toast (can be of your choice as in spirits or whatever) for speeches. If there are also guests coming to an evening reception (usually there has been I'd say at an average wedding about 100 during day) they arrive in time for the first dance, usually they would be welcomed with a drink and a buffet is put on half way through the dancing for everyone at the reception. Cost would be £7.500 - £10.000 for reception only or more if having especially good Champagne. Hope this helps person posting and also gives insight to what is done in some countries to others far away. Obviously this is a hotel type wedding and you can add,/not provide as many drinks etc as you wish.

Answer 3

It's almost been 10 years since we got married, but this is what we did:
We paid for our clothes, rings, flowers, photo/video, dj, decorations, invites.

Brides' parents paid for the reception (food, hall, drinks).

The divorced parents of the groom-one set paid for the church, and the other set paid for the limo and the rehearsal, both were about equal amounts of money.

The reason we paid for those particular items is because we wanted to make the decisions, and if someone else was paying, they would've wanted an input in the decision making. So, we tried to avoid too many opinions.

Because my husband to be was living on his own, we approached both of his parents and stated (nicely) that if they wanted their name on the invite, they would have to pay for something.

My parents were going to be on the invite, because I was still living at home, and we already knew they were paying for the reception. Most parents want their name on the invite, so that's why we had his parents pay token amounts for the wedding.

Whatever works out financially for your particular situation, will be best. So, make a budget, pay for what you can afford, and request your family to cover specific parts, that way they feel like active participants. I warn you that when money is invested, some people will want to have an input.

Good luck with everything!

Answer 4

In this day and age you must come to an arrangement that is comfotable for you all.

When we were married 12 years ago, my (now) wife and I paid for the wedding service and all the associated bits (car, dress, etc.), my in-laws paid for the reception and my parents paid for "the evening do".

My wife and I then paid for the honeymoon and, having spent only about £3000 on the wedding, we had enough left to have a really good holiday.

Talk about it sensibly and pay what you can or want to. No-one will think the less of anyone who can't pay more. And, most importantly of all, have a really great day!

Answer 5

In this day and age often the couple marrying contribute alot of the cost from what i have seen.
Long gone seems to be the tradition that the brides family pay for it all as weddings can be so expensive.
My sister is getting married in April and both sets of parents split the cost of the reception and evening do. My sister and her fella are paying for suit hire, her dress, bridesmaid dresses, wedding ceremony venue, rings, honeymoon, flowers, photographer,favours, decorations and gifts for brides parents, grooms parents, ushers and bridesmaids.

Answer 6

I was the bride :) My parents paid for everything, this wasn't a problem because I only had a little wedding and I didn't want most of the big extravagences. My mother in law arranged the flowers for the church and was our registrar so there was no costs there. We didn't have to pay for the church as my partners family regularly help out there.

Answer 7

The norm on paying for weddings does seem to be changing from the traditional view where the bride's family pays for everything.

Most wedding couples are now paying for a proportion if not all of the cost themselves. If you and your families are happy with your arrangement, brilliant - stick with it!

Answer 8

Things are different nowadays, and there's a lot of flexibility. If the norm is what you're concerned with, then traditionally the bride's family pays for everything.

My fiance & I are paying for our own wedding, and his mom is paying for the flowers. She's the only parent still living between the two of us.

Answer 9

I borrowed my dress from a sister in law to be

Flowers my mom bought the flowers and made the bouquets

Photos the family members each took pictures

Reception another sister in law to gave us it as a gift

My hair, nails and makeup the third sister in law had a neighbor that is a stylist and that was taken care of

The ceremony and reception were held at the church where my mother in law worked.

The only thing my hubby to be and I paid for was the rings- of course- and the tuxes for the best man and the two ring bearers had bow ties and cummerbunds, the maid of honor wore a dress she'd worn in a previous wedding the flower girls wore their Easter dresses.

As you can see my wedding was very low budget--I think it cost in total $500. Oh and my father in law to be married us.

Answer 10

I was the bride. My husband and I paid for everything for our wedding. It help that we had a preacher in the family along with a bakery lady too. It took me a yr. to get my dress. We used silk flowers because they last forever. that and it is cheaper too. Our wedding was by the lake at sunset and very small. My dress was the most expensive. My family didn't have much money and neither did his family. I hope the best of luck to you.