i don't know if i can go on...?

Question

i've seen many mocked and betrayed and looked down upon on this site who have posted questions concerning suicide. im confused. im lost. it seems like my whole life is a blur. i live an almost "perfect" life. i have a good family and great friends who tell me they love me countless times a day. im smart and my family is well-off. i've always been there for everyone while i've never been the one that needed help; the one who had problems. i've always been a great listener, i've always been the one to make my friends smile and laugh. but it seems like this year, i havent been able to live up to that. i feel so much pain and hurt and i feel stupid for not having any significant reasons. i feel worthless, disgusting, horrible, ugly and fat. i can't even talk to my best friend anymore b/c i do not know what to say. i feel depressed almost every second of the day but i have never been diagnosed. i easily get angry with everyone and then hate myself. i want to die, to escape the confusion.

im only 13...

Answer 1

Bob is right suicide will not solve anything, you're problems go with you in the afterlife and you leave your loved ones in grief. You just want the pain to go away, I understand how you are feeling.

Open the phone book, look up psychiatrist and phone everyone until you find one who will see you as soon as possible.

Answer 2

it does sound like you have the perfect life but you have not mentioned a very important key in life itself. God. You have to have some kind of faith and so that your pain is taken away. Also I encourage you to find a goal in life a dream, maybe finish school of help people as a charity, find a purpose in life. We were all created here for one purpose, each one uniquely has been chosen to do something specific. You have to find deep in your heart and like I said before seek in God to help you find what is your purpose in this earth. I too had your feelings at one point in time, I am now more confident and have found why I am here. I could go on for hours telling you my story but I found that thinking positive thoughts was one of the things that helped me out that depression. That sickess moves very quickly and as it start as a simple depression can soon enough end in deadly thoughts as you have mentioned. Also keep your time occupied, you mentioned you feel fat well stop contemplating about it and do something about it, exercise or start a diet, there are many things you can do. But where there is a will there is a way and always remember that "I am me and I am okay" repeat that to yourself everyday that you have bad thoughts!!!

GOD bless you and good luck !!!!!

Answer 3

If it's your looks getting in the way of your social life, then I know exactly how you feel. Try looking up some information on BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). People with this are unable to interact with others or function normally for fear of ridicule and humiliation at their appearance. They tend to be very secretive and reluctant to seek help because they are afraid others will think them vain or they may feel too embarrassed to do so.

I have never told my doctors of this condition, so they think I have a social anxiety disorder which is very disabling to me. But it's how I view myself that really holds me back and depresses me. People with BDD are at a much higher risk of commiting suicide than those with other disorders.

Please voice your concerns with your doctor so they can effectively treat you and prevent any harm to yourself.

Answer 4

Tell your parents what you are feeling right away. You can get better. There is no reason to continue to feel the way you do. Get help now

Answer 5

Please go see your doctor and tell him or her exactly what you just wrote here. Suicide IS NOT the answer. It accomplishes nothing but spreading the pain. Your doctor can help you.