My family disagrees with some of the decisions I have made regarding my son's welfare. Am I wrong?

Question

My son will be attending a special preschool for autistic children in April when he turns three. My mother and my sister disagree with this because they feel he is too young and lacks the understanding as to why he is being sent there. They feel that I need to volunteer at the school in his classroom so that I can keep an eye out for any type of mistreatment because my son is not able to communicate these things to me. I feel that it would hold him back from realizing his true potential. He will want to cling to me, and I feel that this will delay his progress. I also feel my presence there will only delay the inevitable. Eventually he will have to attend school without me and when that day comes he will be extremely upset, whether I ease him into it by volunteering or not. I feel that it is better for him to get used to being there alone sooner as opposed to later. I hate leaving him, but he needs the therapy the school will provide and I want him to get the most from it. Am I wrong?

My son is autistic. He doesn't speak except for a few words and most of it is echolalia, but he does use some words in proper context. He communicates on very basic levels mostly through gestures, but he can't indicate his needs or wants. His interaction is pretty good once he is comfortable, though it may take him awhile

Answer 1

I think that is great that you want to put your child in school. MY child (we thought was austic) come to find ou he had a language delay in speech and he started school when he was three. YOU know today he is ahead of his class, he can count, write, read and many other things. My child would not interact with other children and now he is a "social bee" school has taught him so much and also he is in a special class and he helps the austic kids and they are doing great. The services they get in school is out of this world. YOUR mom needs to see what they do. It will be the best thing you can do for your child to help him succeed. YOU will see how well he can do and the structue they have is great. We follow the same schedule as the school does and my son loves it. I know it's hard and it will be when you let him go and he is there but think about it in the long run what a good thing you are doing for your child. Good luck. I have been in your shoes.

Answer 2

Listen - your mother and sister aren't raising your son - you are. If you're comfortable with the school and it's personell and policies and the way they teach and treat the kids, then you're doing the right thing. Many special-needs kids THRIVE in the proper schooling environment, and this is an important goal for your son to reach.

To possibly appease your mother and sister - not that you have to, mind you - develop a rapport with the teachers and staff that will be working with your son daily and ask for regular progress reports. Perhaps volunteer at the school - but not in his class. This way you're involved and aware of what's going on at school, but not hovering.

Good luck!

Answer 3

If he was a bit older (5 or 6) I would agree with youentirely. But, because he is still so young, I think you should ease him into the school by staying an hour the first day, 45 minutes the next day, and just ork your way down until he is 100% comftorable with you just leaving right away. Him going to the school is a good idea, you know whats best and this is only my opinion. Good Luck

Answer 4

What a dilemma! First, make certain that the school is a good one with qualified, caring professionals trained to help autistic children. You should probably ask to go to observe the classes just to set your mind at ease. Things can be different than you might imagine when you're not there, 'tho.

Talk to other people who have children there and ask them pointed questions to see if they are satisfied. But maybe you've already thought of all these things!

Talk to a professional about your worries/concerns. Then make the best decision based on what you feel and what you've learned. You are his mother. Yes, it's fine for your mom and sister to be concerned, too, but in the end you need to do what feels right to you.

Answer 5

Wrong..no, ...but I do agree with your mom and sister that you might want to volunteer for a little while at least....it is best to see what the environment is like and how well the teachers interact with the children....and remember he is still three...which is very young for any child..norm or with special needs......he might cling for awhile...but if you are there with him to easy him into this environment maybe it will not be as overwhelming when you are no longer there.....

He is your son and you can do what ever you want...but your mom's and sister suggestion is not really a bad idea .......

Answer 6

Rather than volunteering on a regular basis, you should just drop in whenever you feel like it, to make sure everything is going well. That will give you a more accurate depiction of how the school is run and how your child is treated. The school should not have a problem with your random visits, unless they have something to hide. Your family may feel they have your child's best interests at heart, but nobody wants to love him and protect him more than you do, so follow your own instincts on this one. For what it's worth, I can only imagine how difficult this decision is for you, and I give you credit for being strong.

Answer 7

My brother is handicap and going to anything that was specialized care for his handicap was always good for him. I think that you owuld be able to tell if he was being abused. Is this a school type setting or an institution type setting? Your family is just being over protective of him. But I think it's very brave of you to want you son to get the help he needs even if it means not being around you all day. It's very important for him to be as independent as he can it will be great for him. And besides if something goes wrong you can always take him out of the program....I say go for it!

Answer 8

Early intervention for children with special needs has proven to be amazing! Maybe after your son has been in school for a little while, see if the teacher is OK with your mom and/or sister coming for a short observation.

I think you are completely right to get your son early intervention. If all else fails with your family - "Your child, your decisions!"

Answer 9

I have heard that early "intervention" with special needs children is beneficial in the long run and I would be making the same decision with my child as you are with yours. As long as you feel that you are welcome to come and check in on him at any given time while they are caring for him then there are no reasons for you to think that they would mistreat your child. I have dropped in on my children at school several times. Often I can do it without them even knowing I am there. You are the mother and you are doing what you feel is in the best interest of your child. Keep going with your instinct on things and you will be fine. Mother's intuition is stronger than any kind of advice that you will get from relatives or friends.

Answer 10

You are doing the right thing. He does need special techniques to help him learn and going to a school that helps with this will benefit him very much!

If your family is worried about his treatment than just tell them that you will make surprise visits at the school to make sure that he is okay. You want the best for your child and keep reminding them of this!!!