girls what shud i do , i love him but.....?

Question

i found a pic of a girl on my fellas mobile yesterday who i dont recognize,it was in his favirote pics and they were havin a meal together.
makes me feel sick,we hav been on and off for 7 years now but this time it is really working between us, hes changed loads, looks after me, we do stuff together more and hes really making the effort i dont know how to feel iv not asked him about it as he will wonder why i was looking thru his phone.

I wouldnt mind as much but there is not one pic of me on his phone.
I dont want to be in a relationship where i worry and get stressed about other girls at all.
I love him with all my heart tho dont want to get hurt.
Can anyone help me?
love and hugs x xparis

I am with him alot of the time, and i know who rings him and he doesnt see anyone or sneak off anywhere, so it doesnt seem like he is cheating on me.

I deleted the pic and didnt check the date cause i got in such a stress.

Thankyou for all your advice too, its not a friend he doesnt have many girl friends hes a blokey bloke.

Found a bobble in the shower that wasnt mine and stuff he said it was. I dont know.

I clean and cook, and do his washing i dont even live with him. Im feelin anxious tho . :(

Answer 1

oooooooooooh girl, you may need to get outta there!!! I now it is hard when you love him and have been with him for so long, but this may be your final warning sign. Have you ever really asked yourself why he is making all these changes and working so hard to keep you? He is a dog and wants the cake to eat it. However this is true if the photo is a recent one, check the date it was taken, if it is an old one he just may not have gotten round to removing it. If it isn't well then, I think you have found your answer. The fact that you are on here asking shows you are worried and have some issues, you really need to talk to this guy and sort out your worries. They will consume you making you paranoid and your relatioship will fall apart anyway, if you are too scared to approach him, also a bad sign, means you cannot talk to him and be honest, this again isn't good for your relationship. Hav some heart and respect for yourself, approach him on the matter, if you don't get the answer you want them leave. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, there are lots of other good men out there that will lap you up. Don't let this one drag you down and make you loose your faith. Get the answer you need and then work at it from there, stay or bail, but do what's right for you.

Answer 2

Let him go girl!

For a boyfriend of 7 years to have pics of another girl on his phone who isn't family is a serious misdemeanour! And the hair bobble in his shower that's not yours?? Hell no! That's out of order! Show him the door. If he's genuine, he'll come crawling back.

Have some pride and respect for yourself! Clearly your love for this man is greater than the love you have for you. You fear losing him more than you do him cheating? What if he gives you and STI or something he caught from this girl. Would you still be sitting there saying 'but I love him'?

It hurts, Lord knows I been there repeatedly but you've got to know the truth.

Answer 3

If you are checking his phone then there is obviously no trust in your relationship, it is a violation of his privacy and wrong!
You've found something that may have an innocent explanation but you'll never know because you can't ask him without looking like a control freak.
If the relationship is going well then push this photo to the back of your mind and hopefully he will replace it with a current picture of you two.

Answer 4

Owww, I know how you feel. It can be really painful, even offensive, to feel unappreciated. If I were you, I would be honest and ask him about it. You can't disregard this serious of an issue. However, try your hardest to do it in an offhand way. Figure out a way that he will let you see his phone through his own volition. Say you need to make a call or want to take a picture or something. Then find it in front of him and ask him casually. I hope this works out. Good luck!

Answer 5

You don't want to be in a relationship where you have to worry about other women yet here you are..... worrying about a photo of a girl.

The stress probably has more to do with your insecurities and not so much the girl. You need to be secure in the relationship and part of that is trusting him. If you really want this to work this time, you could try to give him a chance and trust him.

But please note...

Seven years is a lot of time to expend on one man. If the relationship wasn't working most of that time, its seven years wasted.

You should spend sometime time assessing yourself and your goals in life, what you really want in a relationship and if he can really meet those needs. If he can't, let him go and move on.

It's all about you. What ever you decide, your relationships won't work if you don't know who you are and where you want to go in your life.

Answer 6

Ask him. It was probably someone he was dating when you were "off". If that is true, you need to let it go. You can ask him why he still has her pic, but I think you are better off letting it go until you find something more concrete. Dont let him know you saw the pic. If its innocent he will show you, and if it isnt, well, you will have it for later reference. Ok I am telling you to be sneaky, but that is a womans best offence, so use it.

Answer 7

Get out before it gets worse. I have a feeling the change has come because he's got this other woman. He can now afford to be nice to you because you're his safety net.

At least confront him and let him give his side of the story. But like you so rightly said, you should NOT be in a relationship where you've got to worry about another woman. YOU DESERVE MORE!!!

Answer 8

It seems to me that he has something going on with this girl, maybe they are siblings. Always look at the bright side b4 suspecting. If he isn't her brother, he probably thinks you guys are just friends. Tell him how you feel about him, and if he doesn't tell you what is going on then, dump him, if he cries, you know to take him back right away, don't wait until it's too late, like I did. My bf said he loved me, and I did the same thing. Don't wait for him to break up with you, and if it's too late for that, ask him why he dumped you. See if he will tell you what's goin' on. Hope I helped!

Answer 9

talk to him about it, ask him who she is, if he cares about u as much as u say he does you'll have nothing to worry about. If he says he went out with her while u were 'off' then its up to u how u deal with it. before u do anything ask if u can look thru his pics if he gets shifty then it could be something to worry about if he acts normal then it could just be a work colleague or something. What ever you do dont sneak about doing it if u do and he finds out it could be worse than not knowing who she is.

Answer 10

hi hunny, you need to ask him to see his phone and explain that you are feeling insecure and you don't know why? if he shows you then he has nothing to hide, it could be an old picture and he just forgot that it is there as men sometimes do? as you said you have been of and on for 7 years, i know its hard, so hard it hurts, but you got to think well he is with me now and not her, but to put your mind at rest never be afraid to ask because if he loves you he wont mind, as it has taken me 25 years to find that out, after i was cheated on, good luck Hun, and i hope it will all work out for you, as its a horrible feeling insecure