my best friend of 2 years recently this past semester became my friend with benefits. we have all the same friends, hang out alot, and get along great...
but, the benefits are ONLY when we are drunk, except for the next morning we kiss and do some things... but i dont know what to think!
he told me we are NOTHING more than friends and we never will be... but i am starting to have more and more feelings for him, and i do not know what to do... should i stop being friends with benefits or just enjoy the times as they come?!?!?
I am also gettign really jealous because spring break is coming up and there is no commitment and he might find someone else there... we are differnet ethnicities, but that shouldnt matter cause we were best friends before all of this! helpppp!
2007-02-19 07:27:07 · 16 answers · asked by Saritah Bonita 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry gorgeous but theres an old adage....
"why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"
A wiser man than me once told me - Men use love to get sex, women do the opposite.
I think either way, you're going to get hurt here. Ask for some commitment - if it ain't coming then pull the plug and find someone who really cares about you, not just a good time when you're hammered.
2007-02-19 07:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by deucelow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, I have to say that I was in your shoes about a year and half ago. I had a friend, close friend that became a friend with benefits. Now, we hooked up and hung out, but all of a sudden I started having some feelings, so respecting our "friendship", I asked him what he was looking for etc. Once we talked and I found out that he was not looking for a relationship right now, I had to stop sleeping with him.....conflict of interests. There is no way you willbe able to keep sleeping with him, if you are already developing feeling and more not develope. And if you already know what he is going to say, then stop sleeping with him and just hang out or start doing things that dont include him until you can break away from the feelings that you are having. We still remained friends to this day, but the sex had to stop and I had to make that choice....b/c he will not. And if you are getting jealous and you guys are just booty partners......you def. need to back up....theres no need for jealously, he's not yours......Good Luck!
2007-02-19 07:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being friends with benefits. It never works out. One or both of the parties involved always ends up hurt. If you have feelings for him, then stop letting him use you. Stop all benefits and even reduce the amount of time you spend with him. This will allow him to realize if he has feelings for you. If he does, then he will want to be in a relationship with you. If he doesn't, then you shouldn't be giving "benefits" to him anyway, because he will never be in a relationship with you. Good luck!
2007-02-19 07:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by Confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well from someone who had a best friend and turned into "friends with benefits" at the beginning it was great, but then i started to catch romantic feelings, that's inevitable for us girls anyway. and we ended our friends with benefits and we are not as close as we once were. if he absolutely says there can be nothing more than just FRIENDS. u should cut off the benefits or at the end someone is going to get hurt. most likely you.
2007-02-19 07:32:08 · answer #4 · answered by prchik 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh a common problem for us girls! Biologically (apparently) during sex we release attachment hormones much like the ones we release when we give birth. This combined with the way us girlie's think make it really hard to have a friends with benefits thing (unless they like us more than we like them, that's a totally different situation!) My advice is to get out before you get really hurt. Trust me it's not good!
2007-02-19 07:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like the sex is to much for your hart to deal with stop having sex with him . He said that it would only be friendship between you guys, if you are sure he meant that then save the friendship, if you can by not sleeping with him anymore because your feelings are getting in the way and if you don't watch it its going to end the friendship if it hasn't already good luck!!
2007-02-19 07:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by ken m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you better wise up before you lose your best friend. Not to say best friends can't become more, but you seem to be moving that way and he doesn't. Just hold back and see what happens but don't lose a best friend over it. Definitely find someone else to occupy your mind and let things develop as they will.
2007-02-19 07:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, he has straight up told you, you are only a fling. You dont even hold status as "dating". Stop drinking with him, or tell him to stop putting his dirty paws on you. Let him know that you wanna stay friends, but there are NO MORE FREE BENEFITS! Dont have sex with him anymore. You are only hurting yourself and you will lose a friend.
good luck to you
2007-02-19 07:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by Mystie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dearie, this is an impossible situation unless you can convince your heart to listen to your head, and that is hard. I went through this once, and we eventually just had to end everything, which was sad because we lost our friendship too. Good LUck!
2007-02-19 07:31:47 · answer #9 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck are you doing? Tell him to go jack off or something... he is treating you like a slut for hire... you deserve better!
2007-02-19 07:31:40 · answer #10 · answered by Becca24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋