I think I screwed up this weekend on my daughters visitation with her father and damaged my daughter more than he does. Her father will sit on my couch every other weekend and not really interact with her. She has to bring books and toys to him while just sits there. She throws a fit when I mention he is coming and will not go anywhere with him (he has denied her for 3 years) I bribe her to be nice to him. This time he brought his ex whom he is in a custody battle with unannounced.. He started playing with my daughter when he has never done that before. I felt he was showing off, playing dad of the year. I let it go for awhile then no longer could deal with him playing with my daughters emotions because next time if he comes alone he will sit on my couch and again not interact. I asked them to leave. I apologized to my daughter and explained why I did that. She replied, "I don't mind." then went on playing like nothing happened. I was wrong for asking them to leave wasn't I?
2007-02-19 06:52:23 · 9 answers · asked by Spring loaded horsie 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
From what i can see, you may have a little bit of jealousy issues, which is normal for your situation. He hasnt been there for years, and now hes finally becoming super dad? i would be jealous too, but you also have to realize, he is finally doing what he is supposed to do, and your daughter will enjoy that. you may not like it at first, but its really not your decision. It is your daughter's father, and she needs him more than ever.Let her have her "dad time" while he is motivated. father figures are very important in a child's life, so give him another chance.
2007-02-19 06:57:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well in a sense no. Just think that you did your wonderful daughter a favor. You don't want to let your daughter get her hopes up and then get let down the next time. This is a good thing that you dod because that is what he was doing showing off that he can treat a child right in front of the other person. When some does this then they must realize that they are hurting someone and that they must think of someone else just not themselves. Good luck!
2007-02-19 14:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by fxysxysrkly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you werent wrong in asking them to leave. Sounds like your daughter keeps getting hurt but is brushing it aside like it doesn't matter....it will build up and build up if these visits continue. I don't get how some men can be so heartless when it comes to their own child* and see what it's doing to them.
You're right, he was playing the Mister Dad of the year for an hour or whatever with his ex to show her that he can interact with kids.....Not sure why she even bothers with him...sounds like he needs to get a life...step up to the plate for your child and his ex's children(since he's in a battle for custody with her also). How sad for the children.
You did the right thing...Your motherly instinct will back you up on that as do I. GOODLUCK*~
2007-02-19 14:57:56 · answer #3 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No way, you were completely right to ask him to leave. It is your job to protect your daughter, physically and emotionally, until she's able to do it for herself. You did the right thing. I can't believe he brought someone else to his visitation time! If I were you I would not have even let this other ex through the door. It's completely irresponsible of him and so indecent to bring someone to his visitation with your daughter. He had no right to behave that way.
You were absolutely right. You did not screw up AT ALL, you were being a good mother.
Good luck to you and your family.
2007-02-19 14:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he is fighting for custody, and your daughters are not old enough to process this situation--then you did the right thing. You are their mediator and advocate in this phase of life; you are to protect them wholistically, which means their emotional well being. This must be tough.
2007-02-19 15:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by Emmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion I don't think you were wrong. He shouldn't have brought a guest with him because that is rude. I'm sure your daughter will be fine just keep being the better parent when she is older she will understand.
2007-02-19 15:00:43 · answer #6 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe....who knows...I wouldn't stress over it...just love her...don't speak ill of her dad....she will beable to sort out his short comings all on her own...but it hurts her self esteem and the ability to feel good about herself when her parents talk ill of eachother...I guess I don't understand why he is at your home for visitations...but at least you can keep an eye on them.
2007-02-19 14:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No he sounds like an a**. Keep your daughter for yourself.
2007-02-19 14:57:49 · answer #8 · answered by taylorvillegirl 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes and no...
he was wrong for putting on a mask in fornt of his ex...
but you were wrong for putting him put (in front of your daughter)...
2007-02-23 04:10:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋