i had my son 5 weeks ago.and im wanting to have sex again but im very scared & nervous. My husband supports me 100% but i dont know what to expect the 1st we have sex again. I am more nervous then i was when i lost my virginity lol when i had my son i got stiches ( they cut me and i ripped) I am all healed but i feel like i freak out when he touches me.... is this normal or am i being crayz?
2007-02-19 06:32:49 · 15 answers · asked by missmeliss 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
perfectly normal to feel all the feelings you describe....
what to expect though is going to be as different as each pregnancy, each labor and delivery and each child, to be honest though.....
after my first daughter? I was afraid... and the longer I waited, it seemed the worse that fear got... the dr. said wait till after the eight weeks? I think I ended up pushing it to another four to five before my now ex-husband and I made love.... I wanted to even before the time the dr. allows for? but, I was afraid...
top fear was: will we wake the baby.... followed by... what if we do not have time to "finish" because of the baby waking? unfortunately... that does happen often.....
the first time I followed the dr "rules" after that? there was not as overwhelming a "oh my gosh" fear? it was there.... but not as much..... and well.... I did not follow rules... nothing "bad" happened... well... I did get pregnant once right away.... but it isn't "bad" so, remember?!! use protection!!
I had been cut, and ripped.... was afraid somehow I would hurt myself even though I was healed.... it was a little tender or raw might be the word, at the beginning... I forgot all about the tenderness when things got "heated"... afterwards yes, it hurt... like a healing cut will....
my other fears were emotions or inner... that I would not like it was one... my husband for weeks would approach me... to cuddle even.... inside I was wow... a mix of fear, anxiety... nerves bundled... I knew after the fact that part was the anticipation of wanting to hold him... knowing our lives, roles were so dynamically different! fear I would not get as excited... it would not be as good for me.... for him.... I am going to have to say... what to expect for the sensation? well, for me it was hmmm, very, very much "more"! ;>
I was afraid, well, this is embarrassing... but, I was scared to death that the baby stretched me.... oh boy, was I afraid of that.... no clue now why.... but after my first baby.... I was more nervous than before ever having sex that I would be "good enough" it would not "feel right" to my husband..... that he would reject me.... do not know if that is what you mean by nervous? my husband told me it was different, in a good way..."better" as for our shape... everything goes back.... but also, there are some changes (kegels will do that) found that it was one of those times where you work yourself to a tizzy and afterwards say... why was I scared?
okay, so what does it boil down to? unless there is some major reason that you do not want to?
jump right into the deep end! and have fun....
well, if the moment is right, and you have protection..... suggest the ones for sensitivity.... and, ummm, hmm.. lubricated?
turn the monitor down........ baby will be fine if he/she wakes up.... and you would still hear if he/she cries loudly instead of just playing or something.... remember, it is ok to have "grown up" time for each other..
hmmm.... if you like the massage, candles.... as special as the first time ever could have been dreamed (to your tastes)
why? it is the first time really.... you are the same people.... but different.... you know?
and, well... I found that for me, it was as "memorable" or.... special maybe is the word? anyway, it was more so than the "first time"
alright...umm... hope I was able to help you out..... I wonder if I will be able to openly discuss this type of stuff with my daughters when they are grown.... lol..
2007-02-19 07:19:38 · answer #1 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've had 3 kids and have needed stitches twice. Taking it slow is the key. Giving birth was major work for your muscles down there so don't be anxious if you can't get back to your full throtle self fast. To lessen any pain you MUST relax, anxiety will only tense up your muscles and you might not libricate adequately making it more painful still. Do slow romantic forplay. Have your hubby give you a full, slow body massage (he can use more than his hands to do that too!). Have him reward you for all the hard work you've done for the past several months, and will do for the rest of your life now that you are a mommy, by him catering to your pleasures. Hey, it will pay off for him too by the way. And if you can't have intercourse because you still feel sore don't worry. Try again the next night and have fun with it. Trust me, you will be able to have great sex again, I know, like I said I have 3 kids.
2007-02-19 06:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by rpookycath 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to be nervous, and at 5 weeks you're probably not entirely healed.
It might hurt a bit, just take it easy and use lots of lube. If it does hurt too much just back off and try again later.
Dr's say to wait 6 weeks, but I never did. Make sure you use birth control if you don't want to be pregnant again right now and aren't 100% breastfeeding, fertility can return quite soon after delivery.
2007-02-19 06:51:33 · answer #3 · answered by Simply_Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally normal. Sex after a baby, especially when you've had stitches may not be so easy. I'd say get a bottle of wine and some KY jelly to help you through it. From my experience sex was difficult for nearly a year after my first. With my other babies I didn't have any stitches so it was easy. Start out slowly and relax. If after a few times it isn't feeling right talk to your doctor. You don't want to go a whole year like I did. Some people need to have corrections done after an episiotomy. Hopefully you won't. Good luck!!!
2007-02-19 07:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, I totally feel you, I waited 9 weeks because I was so scared, and I didn't heal well. But you know, I was all worked up and when we did do it, it felt like nothing changed. Don't freak yourself out too much. The only problem we had was sometimes he would miss where he was aiming and hit where I was stiched... be careful with that, that still hurts a bit to this day and that was almost 2 years ago.
2007-02-19 06:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by glassflower 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you been cleared by the doctor yet? That is the only thing you should be worried about. If the doctor says you are all healed up then there should be no problems.. it may be uncomfortable at 1st.. but you will enjoy it again.. just protect yourself cause you can get pregnant again alot easier after a recent birth. Good luck!
2007-02-19 06:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you're feeling is totally normal! i also had episotomies with both my boys, and i was really nervous having sex again after giving birth. with my 1st we waited til after my checkup but with my 2nd i think we only waited a month. just take it slow. sometimes it takes awhile for you to be able to self lubricate again after giving birth so have some lube available in case you need it. remember, its your husband, he loves you! im sure the last thing he wants is to hurt you. if it does hurt you can always stop and try again another time. personally for me it didnt hurt at all even though i was expecting it to. just try to relax, and have fun!
2007-02-19 06:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by massmama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-16 00:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that is normal.... i also had stitches after my son.. I waited 6 weeks just to be safe. Sex is painful the first time afterchild birth.
2007-02-19 06:38:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its different for everyone, but for me with my first I think it was 6 weeks, with my second probably around 5, and with my third, around 3(yeah...that soon! lol). I had stitches with all 3 as all of them were forceps delivery because they came out face up (Sunny Side Up they call it) instead of face down.
Just make sure you are 100% ready when you do, or neither of your will enjoy it! Tons of lubrication on hand will help too.
The best thing to do is to ask your Doc and go with what he says.
Good luck! :)
2007-02-19 06:47:48 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋