Any good jokes?

Question

Here's one! Sorry blondes! A brunette picks up a lamp, rubs it and a genie pops out! Says I will give you 3 wishes but what you wish for the blondes get double. She wishes for a great man, a nice house, which now the blondes have 2 men, and 2 houses. The brunette's last wish is that the genie beats her half death! Funny?

Answer 1

that is a good 1

Answer 2

I'M NOT MARTHA

Martha's way #1: Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.
My way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers.

Martha's way #2: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's way #3: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
My way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

Martha's way #4: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
My way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it's that you are now blind.

Martha's way #5: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
My way: Leftover wine?

Answer 3

hahaha . i have oneOK, I'll start...

Q: What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

A: The taste.
guy walks into a Dentist's office.

He says, "Dr. I think I have a problem. I think I'm a moth."

The Doctor replies, "You probably need to see a psychiatrist, not a dentist."

The guy says, "I understand."

The Doctor says, "Then why did you come here?"

The guy says, "Your light was on."

Answer 4

Absolutely superb
Now here's one for you !!

Woman walks into a bar carrying a goose
sits down at the bar and orders a drink
bartender while making the drink
looks back over his shoulder and asks
What's the deal -- bringing a pig like that
into my bar ??
Woman responds--- sir, you are completely insane
This isn't a pig !!!
Bartender responds---- I wasn't talking to YOU !!!

Answer 5

Not really, but blonde jokes aren't usually funny-just corny. Here's one lol.

Trucker is stopped at a red light. Sees the blonde in the sports car jump out of her car and run up to his window.
"Hi my name is heather and you're losing some of your load"
He is annoyed and just drives away, stops at the next red light.
She jumps out and runs up to his window
"Hi my name is heather and you're losing some of your load"
He rolls his eyes and drives away.
Comes to another red light, jumps out of his truck and runs to her car.
"Hi my name is Kevin, it's winter and I'm driving the salt truck"

*groan*

Answer 6

haha nicely stable i've got been given a intercourse shaggy dog tale for you desire you like it :) on listening to that her grandad had purely died kate went and visited her nan to convenience her while she asked how he died her nan replyed via sayin that he had had a heart attack mutually as makin love 2 her kate mentioned that it grow to be stupid that 2 old human beings the place havin intercourse because it grow to be askin for difficulty her nan replyed via sayin that they used to do it to the sluggish p.c.. of the church bells because it grow to be purely the wonderful velocity she then wiped a tear from her eye and carryed on via sayin''if that dahmed ice cream van hadnt come alongside he would nevertheless be alive right this moment'' :) xxx

Answer 7

The whole "half to death" thing is really old.

Answer 8

Yeah. I enjoyed it ha!

Answer 9

what did the banana say to the viberator?what are you shaking for their going to eat me!
HA!HA!

Answer 10

haha lol