question on child custody??

Question

I have a two year old child with my ex boyfriend.... He has not seen or even tried to see her in over a year. But here is the thing, he and his family are now sueing me for joint custody after all this time, over a year, they haven aked to see her or even called to check on her in over a year so this thing was sprung on me out of nowhere.... Anyway even though he has had nothing to do with her he does pay child support but onlt 150.00 a month. But the question i have is there anyway i can get it too where he and his family will have to come over to my house to atleast get to know her cause she has no clue who these people are?? I dont want to turn her world upside down by forcing some strange people on her. She is two years old and like i said they haven tried to have any contact with her in over a year.

Answer 1

I understand how you feel i have a 2 year old little boy whose father has never once wanted to see him and still doesn't in fact he is trying to get out of paying support. My advise to you is get a good lawyer that will represent you and your little girl. Your ex boyfriends family has nothing to do with this sure they are her family to but no child needs a "part time dad" or ever a "part time grandparent" you can probably ask for supervised visitations to start out with.

Answer 2

Most courts will consider what is relevant to the best interest of the child when determing child custody. The interaction and interrelationship of the child with his or her parent or parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interest.

The are various other things that the courts will consider as well, but my suggestion to you is try to resolve this before you go to court. For example meet with the father and suggest short visits until he gets to know is daughter (two days a week for 2 hours at a place that is nutural for both of your and with someone that you trust). Do this for say 2 months until she gets use to his visits. Then after this two month period day overnight visits two days a week and every other weekend (this way he can introduce his daughter to his family and spend quality time with his daughter).

If this goes well then suggest joint custody where you have physical placement. He gets the child two days a week and every other weekend, and lets say one month a summer. After he has established a relationship with your daughter.

I suggest visiting this way until he gets to know his daughter, and this will also make the transition for your daughter easier. Not to mention it shows the courts that you are trying to do what is best for the child and the other parties involved. Meet him at a resturant to talk about the things that you want to suggest, and take your daughter to show him that you are sincere.

The reason for my suggestion is because I would hate to see this hurt you and your daughter in the end, because of her age it will be easy for her to adjust to any new changes. And if there has to be changes you are the one that should control them.

Answer 3

There is no such thing as a military divorce. All divorces are civil matters. Having said that, the amount of child support is based on income. If there is a court order in place that states how much child support he should pay, then that's what he needs to pay. The only way he could petition the courts to lower the amount is if his circumstances changed and he suddenly started making significantly less money. As for sending more money whenever his ex asks for it, he is not obligated to do that and he is in fact a fool to do so.

Answer 4

It takes 2 to make a baby. I think it is great he is trying. You act as though 150.00 a month is not enough? I have 5 kids and they are not 300.00 a month to raise meaning him 150 and you 150. He is not suppose to support you just help with the child. I hope he does get joint and cuts the child support out. It is better for the baby to have a Dad and extended family then just 150.00 every month. You might be a little more supportive of his family by inviting them into your life so your child will accept them or you are going to make your child scared. Anyone can have a baby but a true parent will love their child more then they hate someone else who is a big part of the childs life. Let go of the past and help the child to have a wonderful life. It wont be easy but you need to forgive.

Answer 5

You, Your lawyer and him, his lawyer should sit down and discuss the situation like adults.
If you're agreeing to visitations or joint custody, ask him if he'd agree to a "progressive meeting" which means basically week 1&2 he sees her 1-2 times a week. Week 3-4 he sees her 4x/week, week 5-6 he visits an hour/day. week 7-8 he gets an overnight with her. ect.
This way it shows your looking out for her best interest and yet not fighting him to avoid him seeing her or getting custody.

However, keep note, unless your ex is under the age of 14, his parents legally have no rights in this situation what so ever.
They cannot demand for him visitaion rights/custody, he has to do it on his own (of course tehy can "support" this) They cannot legally demand to have visitations of your daughter, but if she is with him, you cannot (unless for some reason you get a restraining order) interfear and try to dictate weather or not she sees his parents.

Whatever comes of the situation, no matter how frustrated you get with him, always remember the child's best interest.
You can have a civil custody dispute, and actually be polite with each other

Answer 6

Speak to the dad, telling you have no objection with the custody issue but if her truly cares of his child, you would like him to get to know her first, so she is not terrified of him or his family before leaving her alone. Also at your hearing request it infront of the judge. If he truly cares he will do it. In the future you will be glad your child had an interaction with her dad.

Answer 7

No court in the land will make a 2 year old go to people she doesn't know without supervision.
Insist on supervised visits initially, as she gets to know them, then consider allowing her to go unsupervised.
Get a good lawyer, make it clear he has been absent for at least the past year, and take it one step at a time.
Good Luck.

Answer 8

my son is 18mo and his dad's side of the family only calls maybe once every 6months and then they want to take him. I have always told them no for the mere fact that he doesn't know them. i would definitely call a lawyer and get a consultation. I would hope that no judge would just automatically award visitation or just throw her at these new "family" members!!! make sure you tell whomever that NO ONE IN HIS FAMILY HAS EVER TRIED TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU CONCERNING YOUR DAUGHTER!!!! I am very spectacle about that, why now?!!

Answer 9

In NY you could get them on abandonment for as little as six months. protect your child and fight it. If they want to be involved and they are decent, then I would reccomend that they visit as you said and keep it that way. If the father wants regular custody, then I would allow this, if he can be trusted.

Answer 10

chances are your exboyfriend will get some type of custody. it happens. i would invite him and his family over to meet her. tell them that they don't want to scare her so it would be best to do this slowly. court custody visits will take months before they start so if they want to see her then now would be good. good luck.