I been faithful with him for 3yrs and I feel like i need to cheat. Hes so mean to me and he tells me words that are so hurtful. I tell him over and over again that he hurts me and he doesnt care i even take care of him finacially, what should i do? i have many chances in having a good man but i love him. He hurts me though What would u do??
2007-02-19 06:01:15 · 24 answers · asked by jdn85 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It aready gotten phyical and i have two kids with him
2007-02-19 06:06:33 · update #1
Yeah, I know what you're going through right now. Many people have come to me for counseling on this kind of stuff and they all have three things in common:
1. They are being abused
2. They still love their partner
3. They are willing to cheat
I generally ask them all the same thing. If you are willing to cheat, why do you still love your partner? If you still love your partner why are you willing to cheat?
Generally if you are willing to cheat on your partner, you love someone else. If you love someone else then it would seem only proper to sever ties with your current partner ESPECIALLY if there is abuse in the relationship. As a previous answer said before me, the abuse could only get worse.
But if you still love your partner and just couldn't separate, try couples counseling. I find that this generally helps couples who are struggling with problems such as abuse.
Now, I can see how it will be hard since you have kids. I think this makes you feel a bond with this person, a cord that could never be broken. Am I right? I would tell you that you need to get out of there soon. The abuse could pass from you to your children and that's never good. He may fight you for the children, but if you are financially supporting him as it is right now he may not be able to get a lawyer. Its a cruel world, but you have to take charge at some point in time and stand tall.
Sometimes you just have to let the people you love take a fall for them to realize what they need to change.
I hope this helps you. If you would still like to talk on this issue, please email me. I'll be glad to help you as much as possible. Good luck.
2007-02-19 06:34:56 · answer #1 · answered by Dmitri 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to re read what u just said.He hurts u and doesn't care and u take care of him financally. But u love him..WHY? Us woman tend to get in relationships and stay in them no matter how bad they are.Why? Because it is comfortable,and it is something we are use to.Stop being afraid of change.You need to really start thinking more of yourself to.Sounds like u have a guy who is useing u and treating u like crap. Don't u think u deserve better? I do. If u love him stop and think if u find someone u are attracted to that loves u back and treats u great. Thats what u deserve and thats what u should do.Get rid of him and find someone that loves u the way u deserve to be loved.You will find love again.I'm a older woman and I can tell u from experience. This is not the way to live.Good luck hon. Oh I didn't see about the two kids.Get out before u loose your children.If he hurts them or u and social services gets a wind of it u will loose your kids.
2007-02-19 06:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're having an erge to cheat, given which you at the instant are not getting what you % from this dating. you're in an emotionally abusive dating. Iv'e been there, yet now married to a guy that has made me extra suitable and happier then Iv'e ever been. and that's what it quite is meant to be like. while consisting of your companion, they could convey your spirits up and you would be a team at the same time. don't sense liable for letting him pass. It heavily isn't person-friendly needless to say. however the quicker the fewer puzzling. we % the existence we lead. cheating isn't the respond honey. enable him pass.... sturdy luck!
2016-12-17 13:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by donenfeld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the world is full of men like him,& woman like you,& it NEVER gets better,trust me, I stayed way to long for the same reason you are, because I loved him,well let me tell you the word love is just a word,it's the emotions behind the words that should tell you everything, you will find someone who will make your life feel fulfilled with real love & respect,but first you have to get out & recover your self esteem,then only date men who respect you & treat you in such a manner that when he says he loves you it will feel good,safe & healthy. What your in right now is NO good. Your a better person than your letting yourself be,so get away from him,it's not love.
2007-02-19 06:08:36 · answer #4 · answered by fairy53042000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is wrong to compromise your principles and cheat. He is stripping you dry of your spirit and left you with nothing but love. It isn't enough!! I would pack his stuff and send him to the curb. Don't settle for this man who is using and abusing you. You are worthy of genuine love and I think you should pursue that path. Get away from him before he kills you. He's already robbed you of money, emptied your love banks, and now you are ready to sacrifice your dignity to fill in the holes he's dug all over your love garden. Just dump him and start dating again. Then it won't be an affair! You might need to get professional mental help to avoid these kind of men. You are in a potentially volatile situation. Get out now!
2007-02-19 07:15:28 · answer #5 · answered by Mars 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong to let this verbally abusive leech continue to take advantage of you.
Don't cheat on him. Dump him first. Then it won't be cheating!
If by "it's already gotten physical" you mean that he's already hit you, then DEFINITELY don't cheat on him...because that will only provoke more abuse. You should seek professional assistance if you don't think you can break up with him without being physically abused.
What would I do? I wouldn't have let it get to this point. I wouldn't have had children with somebody who verbally abused me; I wouldn't completely support someone; and the first time a man hit me, there would have been two more hits to follow: me hitting him, and him hitting the floor. And let woe betide him when my friends or family laid hands on him...!
2007-02-19 06:05:01 · answer #6 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, cheating isn't a good idea and it won't solve your problems. But leaving him will. He has major issues and you already know this.
You said it your self, that he says hurtful things to you, why put up with that?
Your taking care of him financially, are you crazy or what, don't put up with his trash. That man doesn't know which side of his bread is buttered on. There you are taking care of him and he talks trash to you.
Split, that isn't love at all. Obviously you couldn't possible love him if your thinking of cheating on him, so get out. Get out now.
2007-02-19 06:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by Cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me, you have a bigger problem than the urge to cheat. If he is not treating you properly leave him. He is hurtful and mean. Why would you want someone like that around you? Cheating on him is not the answer by any stretch. It will solve nothing. Find someone who will treat you properly, girl. Good Luck.
2007-02-19 06:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by fireangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you even put up with this? Are you married to him? Don't stick around for the kids. Thats the worst reason. Trust me take care of yourself and kids. Believe in yourself, Life has a way getting you through stuff.
2007-02-19 06:09:07 · answer #9 · answered by homesweethomediana@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's "wrong" (not wrng) and "urge" not (erge).
What's the point of cheating on someone when your relationship is crummy anyway? Just break-up and move on. That way you avoid the bad karma from cheating, and are free to do as you please.
Not rocket science...move on.
2007-02-19 06:06:54 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋