how do you deal with a 6 yr old who always wants to win?

Question

if he looses at a game, he throws a fit and get so angry.

This usually happens when playing game cube, and he usually wins. Once in a while I win, and it just makes him so made. I am not trying to loose when I play, he is just good a Mario cart racing.

I have talked to him about it before the game starts, but still have the same results when he looses.

I am going to try and have a punishment if he does it again and will let him know what that punishment is in advance. May be no more cart racing for the day.

Answer 1

My 7.5 y/o son is just like this. Low frustration threshold in general, but really can't stand to lose, or feel "less than" everyone else around him. He's the 4th child of 6, but I don't know if his birth order has much to do with that-- he's been an intense kid since infancy. Challenging, for sure, but I have such a close relationship with him because I had to learn to know him and his moods so well when he was younger.

I feel that it is largely due to developmental immaturity. He acted like a 2 y/o as a 4 y/o, like a 4 y/o as a 5 y/o, and now at 7.5 I think he probably acts more like a 6.5-7 year old. He seems to be slowly catching up to where I think "most" kids are at his age (and certainly where his 3 older sibs were-- it's impossible not to compare, if only for reference), but it's frustrating to watch him act out and give in to his impulses repeatedly.

Here's what we do when he starts to lose his temper:

End game or activity immediately (for him, or for both if the other child was also actively involved)

NEVER give him what he wants when he's being bossy, difficult, rude, demanding, etc. Ask him to think about how he stated himself, and try again correctly. Praise and/or reward good manners/behavior.

Time outs to calm down in his room when he can't get over it quickly (he will stomp off angrily, but responds well to this once he is alone, and usually comes down later to apologize and say he'll try harder. :melts: And he does.)

I know there's more, but those are probably the main three. They aren't going to cure the intense personality behind these issues, but it gives me a consistent way to deal with him, and he knows exactly what to expect when his behavior gets out of line. I do consistently see improvement; like I said, his maturity levels seem to be slowly catching up to his actual age. It's just a slow process.

Best of luck! Kids like this are certainly a challenge, but they are also sooo rewarding when they show their positive emotions as intensely as their negative ones! Difficult to manage, perhaps, but certainly not difficult to love!

Answer 2

Sounds familiar. My 7 year old is the same way and we have 2 other boys and its all about competition to him. When he plays games, with them, and doesnt win, he throws a fit. When he is playing alone, like the playstation or his game boy and he loses, he throws a fit. I cant stand it. With the play station, I finally just took it entirely away and that was that. I also stopped playing games and stopped buying games for him. He loves to buy games for his game boy, but he isnt allowed to now. He also wanted the Nintendo DS and I said too bad, not until you change your attitude. He has slighty tried to change his ways when playing, but I still see him trying all the time to compete with the other boys, even at eating, getting dressed, etc...All I can say is dont let him play the games or just take them all away and have him earn them back.....

Answer 3

At this age, most kids are very competitive. He must learn to be a gracious winner AND loser. Maybe invite some of your friends over who have younger children then him. Set them up with an easy board game, and pull him aside before they start. Tell him "these kids are younger then you, so try to let them win, O.k.?". Once he agrees, and one of them wins, make him congratulate the winner, and he can see how other ppl react when they win, and when they lose. But if you don't want to do that or don't feel like it, know this: He'll grow out of it eventually. Good luck, and try to instill some lessons on winning and losing. Like in some games "loser gets his/her ice cream first." Or "loser gets his/her ice cream last." Good luck!

Answer 4

Many children are bad sports at games and its our job as parents to teach them how to win and lose gracefully. It s hard though because they get so upset but he needs to learn how to lose without getting mad. Try showing him and talking to him about it before the end of the game.

Answer 5

Don't let him get his way.

OK, I don't exactly mean that.

Pick your battles. If he's right, don't stop him from "winning" just to make the point. When kids never win, they are more likely to get mad, because they feel powerless.

However, that doesn't mean giving in.

Set limits. Have punishments for inappropriate behavior. Make them clear (not just "you'll be in trouble").

Make it about choices. "You have the choice to scream at me or not. However, if you make that choice, you will lose TV tonight. Your choice."

Answer 6

this one made me laugh!! it reminds me so much of my son. he's 23 now but still hates to lose! he was exactly the same as a child and is VERY competitive now. i have to say though that he has succeeded exceptionally well at everything he has done in his life and i am very proud of him. as long as he is not disrupting anyone else's life i believe he'll be fine

Answer 7

Get his promise beforehand he won't through a fit or else you don't play. Give fairplay rewards to others...

Answer 8

let him loose, and make a serious consequence when he throw a fit. he has to learn that is not acceptible behavior at anytime.