more than friends?

Question

Theres this guy who is a really good friend of mine. I really love him as a friend, but do want us to be more than that. I don't know how to tell him, as I don't want to ruin our friendship. Do I tell him, or just try and get over him?

Answer 1

Funny, I just left this same posting for someone else...

Unless he's gay, married or with someone else...

Ok. Let me take that back. He likes you.

People are not disposed to invest in relationships with people we do not like.

Guys, even married ones, make friends with women we are attracted to. As long as he's not Gay or in a relationship...

As macho as we are, guys can get hurt. We don't have as many outlets as women do to deal with the pain of rejection or painful relationships... It's possible that he likes you so much that he can't stand the thought of be rejected by you or losing your freindship (just as you are) that he's afraid to take the next step.

So, I usually don't tell women to take the first step, but in this case, since you have already gotten to know each other, maybe you could break the ice for him. Ask him where he thinks this freindship is going. Make him come out in the open.

Good luck.

A~

Answer 2

Look its o-k to have these feelings for a close friend.I know others will tell you that this will only wreck a friendship,but in truth what they are not thinking of is any real relationship that is going to start out well is needed to start with a friendship first.So, If I was you I would do a little more "feeling out the situation".
Look for signs that he is feeling as you are.Make sutler but forward hints.Like " I sure wish I could be with the one I really want".And when He asks who is that,You say "Well, I am afraid to say".And smile at him.Your not telling him out right and he will be Leary to just ask if its him but instead if likes you the same will be trying harder to feel you out as well.What this will do is make this relationship move forward equally instead of only you pursuing him for it.Now if he doesn't show interest after you say hints then let it go and if he seems weirded out by you liking him when he don't feel that way for you,you can just say,what made you think it was you? I was just playing with you.And the friendship will remain un affected and you can gradually get over your feelings for him without any harm done.
Good Luck! (But i bet he feels the same!) ;)

Answer 3

I was in the exact same situation as you once and i told my friend that i liked him and even though the feelings were not mutual we still stayed friends. In fact it actually brought us a little bit closer because he knew that i felt comfortable enough to tell him how i felt about him.
Don't get me wrong, i was upset that he did not feel the same but after i told him it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders because i no longer had to pretend anymore.
I say go for it babe, i know you don't want to loose your friendship but even if he does not feel the same I'm sure you both will be able to stay friends and you will feel alot better getting it all off your chest.
Good luck xxx

Answer 4

I am in the same boat as you are. I actually dated my bestfriend for sometime. We have been in love for 3 years...but we split...thats another story. What is your gut feeling telling you. What is the thought that keeps coming to mind, that he loves you? or that he only wants you as a friend? Your gut feeling is almost always right. Now, are you guys close enough? Maybe you can start by telling him " Hey you know I can't stop thinking about you as a man not a friend". good luck! Chances are he likes you too!

Answer 5

Please be honest and tell him how you feel. Let him down gently that you just want to be friends with him. It's up to him if he wants to still be your friend or not. It's hard to be just "friends" with someone that you find attractive and like. So, don't get hurt if he is unable to be your friend. Imagine if you were in his shoes. I've had to tell a few guys that I just wanted to be friends only for whatever reason and they did not take it well. A few stopped talking to me and a few told me that I was a user...LOL What a riot. Just be honest and see how he takes it. Or just make new friends...that always works!

Answer 6

Well uve first gotta make sure that he and you are really close friends..that somthing like that wouldn't tear u too apart....then once u think uve gotten there then ask him out to the mall...at first if u don't want it to be so uncomfortable ask him AND his friends and YOU can bring ur friends as well that way it won't be so uncofortable.....as long as ur friends talk alot...and rnt shy! GOOD LUCK i just know its gonna work out! :-) <3

Answer 7

If he is that good of a friend he will still want to stay friends if you say you want to be more than friends with him and he doesnt want to be but will still be friends if you like him that much you should say something and because you are that close you shouldnt feel like he will say no so just bring it up and say something

Answer 8

i think you should tell him, dont be afraid to tell someone you like them cos you never know maybe he feels the same way and if not at least he will know and you dont have to regret not telling him.

Answer 9

if he likes u great if he dnt so what and if he was a good enough friend then it woulnt matter to him how u feel about him he would still be ur friend and not go wierd.

Answer 10

guys don't usually take it very well,so if u don't really have feelings for him, i think u should tell him but be very carefull and make sure he understands it fully.
all the best.