My friend and her boyfriend have been dating for almost 3 years. She is 19 and he is 20. She has been really upset the past couple of weeks because she wants him to ask her to marry him. I try to tell her that maybe he is waiting until he is done with college, but she says she doesn't understand because being engaged doesn't mean you have to get married right away. He talks to her about wanting to start a family and get married to her, but he hasn't popped the question yet. She said everytime she brings it up, he says he's sick.
She's also been upset because for Valentines Day he didn't get her anything. She went over to his apartment the weekend prior to Valentines Day because his college is an hour and a half away. He knew they were celebrating Valentines Day then, but still didn't get her anything. She wanted to go out somewhere, but he didn't want to. He told her that he sent her a card in the mail, but he sent it to the wrong address. She has been very upset and depressed the past couple of weeks and it is hard seeing her like this.
What do you think he is waiting for? What is a good age to get engaged?
2007-02-19 04:45:26 · 9 answers · asked by forever_in_love_11803 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he's not ready yet, and anyway it isn't so easy to have an own family, soo....tell your friend to wait. If they are meant to be together they will and they will get married. You always have the time to get married. She should just enjoy her time with him.
2007-02-19 04:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am kinda in the same boat. I am 24, my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for almost 4 years, and we have been living together for about 3.5. I have been wondering on what is the hold up (along with everyone else around us), basically my boyfriend and I are really honest and open with eachother, and basically he wants to wait until he graduates school (end of this year) and wants to make sure that he can provide for me, before he asks. They should really talk about it. If he can't even talk about it, than he is no where near ready to make that committment. I dont think there is a proper age on when you should get engaged. I think it all depends on maturity levels, and how strong the relationship is. 19 and 20 is still young, and I am sure there are a lot of things they want to do before they get married. From what it sounds like, he is just not ready. And that is ok...he is only 20. He can't even drink a beer legally...so there is some perspective. If he is worth it, she should just wait. I know it sucks! its not fun, but I am waiting, because I know he is worth it, and I know it will happen.
2007-02-19 12:56:03 · answer #2 · answered by sjhockeyfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not be ready yet, and if she forces him it may in a unhappy quick divorce. She should give a little time and then if he still doesn't see it her way she should move on. He'll either decide he can't live with her or he will move on. Either way she'll get an answer.
My question is why is she so ready to get married at 19. She should be valuing her youth and doing things that she likes not waiting for a long term commitment.
2007-02-19 13:18:33 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 19 and 20, although technically adults, they are too young to marry and esp. if one or both are still in school. Schooling demands too much if it's done well and the pressures of living with another person just adds to the problem.
Yes, there are ppl who marry at that age and the marriage lasts but i submit that that is the exception rather than the rule.
2007-02-19 12:55:39 · answer #4 · answered by mikey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this guy has lost his interest in ur friend.......if he could not even bring anything for her on valentine day it means he does not love her anymore......he may have found some one else.tell ur friend to take easy.life is too short to be wasted like this.........go on with her life dnt make it such a big thing for her life..........i know its hard if u r with some1 for 3 years bt that is wht life is all about .full of suprises.....every turn we make is nt the right one........this guy obviously dnt want a commitment with ur friend....
2007-02-19 12:53:27 · answer #5 · answered by mahek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys tend to have commitment problems. and 25 and up is a good age to get engaged. but no younger than that
2007-02-19 12:49:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious she's getting too heavy for his liking; obvious he doesnt want to talk about marriage, so much so that he is now reluctant to continue the relationship.
She needs to lighten up or it will all be over.
2007-02-19 12:50:35 · answer #7 · answered by vaivagabundo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh oh... There is nothing that is going to happen between the two.
If he is careless enough to do that, he isn't worth the trouble.
TELL HER THAT. HE IS WORTHLESS AND A LOSER, I'm sure she is sweet, and there is a Guy out there that can love her for everything that she is.
2007-02-19 12:50:05 · answer #8 · answered by freezie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even tho they have been datin for 3 years, i think its still a yung age to get married. there still yung. maybe he has cold feet. he is scared to get married.....U neva kno tell her he is probally scared n to give him time
2007-02-19 12:49:50 · answer #9 · answered by Your girl Cassie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋