I asked my partner if he would like a baby with me, not right now but in the future at some point and he replied "maybe one day". He has a daughter already to someone he was with briefly when they were young. Do you think this is a polite way of saying he doesnt want anymore kids, or just not with me? I feel quite hurt and disappointed.
2007-02-19 03:57:00 · 14 answers · asked by Lolly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
P.s I did't actually ask him, I said I would love to have your baby one day.
2007-02-19 04:20:16 · update #1
Don't feel hurt. I do this too. It's just a way of putting off a really heavy question and to keep from committing to something I've said to my lil chicka.
It also means he doesn't want to lie to you. He could just say "yeah" and not mean it. You can rely on a straight answer from him when he gives it.
He's also taking things seriouse and I'm sure chicks dig that!
2007-02-27 01:17:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you guys been together? And you have to take into consideration whether or not the first child was planned? Many people have children with other's from brief relationships, and those children weren't usually created out of a true love. Maybe he just wants to wait until the both of you are at a completely stable place in your lives together before bringing another child into the world.
Don't take it personally, I'm sure that he didn't mean it to upset you. But would you rather he pretend to be enthusiastic about it in the affirmative and then when the time came or a pregnancy occured, he turned tail and ran because he wasnt' really ready and lied to make you happy?
2007-02-19 12:01:57 · answer #2 · answered by usa_armywife 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here are the possibilities:
- He's not sure how it will be in the future
- Its a nice way of saying "No"
- He does, but doesnt want to say "Yes", 'cuase he's afraid you'll feel like he's obligated to commit to it.
Whatever the answer, I must say you made a wrong turn by asking this question and he was a gentlemen by answering the way he did.
Do you have kids yourself? If you dont, why would you start your life with a person who started his life way before you...... Look for someone who'll start life from YOUR start.
2007-02-19 12:10:36 · answer #3 · answered by Java Chip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is his way of saying "Later, just not now." If his first child was a 'pleasant surprise', perhaps he actually wants to be at a point where he has planned a having a child. You have noted that you said not now, but in the future. Which is what he is agreeing to. If you are doubting because of the maybe part, he may not be sure how his life will work if he has 2 children.
2007-02-19 12:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by spynmepynk 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He answered you honestly. Right now he might not be emotionally or financially ready for another child. Children require not only love and a stable home, but they don't come cheap. Perhaps you should this drop this topic and not bring it up again until marriage is in the picture.
2007-02-19 12:05:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe is better than NO, right? Men aren't so good at 'hypothetics'...it could be that when the time is right, he'll be ready- but if he feels like it's not right, right now- he doesn't want to say Yes, and have it happen tomorrow.
Give it some time, focus on your relationship and it will all work out.
2007-02-19 12:01:30 · answer #6 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm quite sure he still loves you, but maybe he's not ready right now to have another child. I think that you should calmly approach him, and just ask him why. I know this sounds a little bold, but I'm sure if you talk to him he will have a very good reason. Hope this helps!
2007-02-19 12:01:07 · answer #7 · answered by Carly K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're asking him to predict how he feels about events in the future and it's an honest answer, he may or may not want kids in the future.
2007-02-19 11:59:40 · answer #8 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it could be he's just not sure. after having one kid with someone he wasn't that serious about, he might be kinda hesitant to have more with anyone. the best thing you can do is ask him why. the answer might hurt, but it will help you better understand his thinking.
2007-02-19 12:01:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well u need to ask him but i think that it means not now but maybe in the future and im sure he didnt mean juts not with u
2007-02-19 12:01:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋