my daughter???need answers?

Question

my daughter was born prematurely at 26 weeks was really big for a 26week old she weighed [3lb 12oz] now she is weighing 4lbs 10oz she was born Feb.11 she got out the hospital yesterday the 18th...ok so she crys SOOOOOOOO MUCH at night but daytime she is always sleeping..i feel like i cant do it and it just been a day what can i do to prevent her to sleep so much during daytime so she can sleep more at night...im always scared when im giving her breast milk she is gonna choke or something because she is sooo little but shje never does she is healthy and EATS ALOT but how can i stop worrying so much about her choking with the milk...this is my first baby im 16 years old..she drinks and sleeps she is wonderful...at night she likes it when i put her in top of my chest and i cover her with the blanket she fall asleep right away but when i try putting her back in the crib she crys again and i dont wanna sleep with her cuz im scared she would fall..i also had a c-section and its so painful!!!

Answer 1

It is normal to be scared as a first time mother. If you want to offer her comfort while she is sleeping, try and put a shirt that you have worn in the crib with her....a t-shirt is good. She will smell you and sleep better. Good luck. I had my first at 18 and lived 3000 miles from home with my husband. It is never easy but it does get a little easier.

Answer 2

Search on the internet or visit the doctors or local clinic for leaflets and such on why babies have different sleeping patterns. And stop worrying. A nice soak in the bath will realive some stress. See if you can get some extra help because your only young. Perhaps a member of the family, a family friend or neighbour. Or just take it to the medics they will give you a lot of information and places to go with other young mothers. You arent alone and just think....you got her into this world and doesnt she deserve everything you can give her. You could always try I've forgotten what its called where you leave them to cry for a while it might be diffcult but if you do that each night for a few days then she will sleep her self and in the day she will be wide awake. Try to make her do a lot even if she cries just rub her and rock her gently but still expect her to stay awake so she will go to sleep at night than in the day.
whats best is to just go to the Docs and see what they suggest.

Answer 3

I'm sure that if the hospital have you let you take her home there is no concern over her feeding and being breast fed. She has also gained 10oz in a week which is proof she is getting enough milk from you.

It is so tough when you have a baby and especially so young. At 32 I had my first baby and found the first six weeks really hard. The sleepless nights, not really knowing what to do and learning on the job are really stressful. I hated feeling totally out of conrol. I can remember asking myself what on earth I'd done having a baby. I was exhausted. You only had this baby eight days ago and by C section so you have that to contend with as well. You'll be fine. I would make sure that when she sleeps in the day that you catch up on any sleep you can. Do you have someone to share the work load with...boyfriend? mum? friends? ask them for help getting her to sleep at night or taking her out in the pram while you rest in peace at home!

I also found Grobag sleeping bags for children were fantastic at settling my daughter. They do make smaller sized bags for prems. They don't have sleeves so the child can't overheat and they zip up at the front. I found when ever I wanted to put her in her crib I would do her nappy, put her in the grobag and breast feed her in that. When she inevitably fell asleep I would put her in the crib and she wouldn't wake up. I wish I'd had them with my first child.

Many babies have their day/night mixed up. They will settle. Try and get into a routine of getting her to sleep in the day and going to bed at night this helps.

Try and buy/borrow a copy of Tracy Hogg's "Secrets of the baby whisperer". In this book she details all the different cries and looks a baby has. It's their way of communicating. They cry when they're tired, hungry, overstimulated, need a change of scene, need a cuddle. You will begin to notice what each cry means and by looking at what daughter is doing with her body you will understand what she means. I bought this book for baby no 2 and wish i'd had it the first time. I always thought crying meant she was unhappy and it doesn't always mean that! Try not to rush to her straight away when she's crying. Sometimes they can sooth themselves and they very quickly learn that when they yell mummy runs!

Make sure too that you are eating good healthy meals and drinking loads as this will help you feel less tired and keep your energy levels up.

Please ask for support from those around you and get as much rest and sleep as you can. It WILL get better and soon enough you will be on top of everything and will feel more in control.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Hi Lizz,

Congrats on your new baby!

It is not unusual for newborns to have their days and nights mixed up. I know it can be so frusterating and exhausing to deal with.

First I would talk to her doctor and make sure that she is doing well. If you don't have a doctor that is sympathetic to the needs of a young mom, find another one!

You might try to hold off on her naps a little bit but I would not sleep deprive a baby during the day so she sleeps at night. It just doesn't work that way. The more tired they are, the less they sleep and when they do, it is often fitful.

I know you must be so tired so I would recommend sleeping while the baby sleeps...even if it is in the middle of the day and you have lots to do. A rested mommy is one of the best gifts you can give your baby. You will be more patient which will be more calming for your little one. They really do feed off of your frusteration and pretty soon both of you are crying :(. Try to stay calm and remember to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes just being able to step away for a few minutes will help you regain composure.

Hope this helps. I will be praying for you. Blessings!

Answer 5

It does sometimes take them quite a while to get into good sleepling habits - from weeks to months. You could try giving her a formula feed last thing at night as this takes slightly longer to digest so she will go longer before she starts to feel hungry and starts wailing again. When you put her back in her crib, make sure she doesn't get cold as this might wake her up. Try stroking her for a little while until she goes back to sleep. Put her on her side to do this, some babies don't like being on their back.

Babies also cry when they are really tired and you can make the situation worse by picking her up as soon as she starts. If you know she has had enough food and doesn't need changing, try to leave her for a little while to go back to sleep.

It wont last forever and it's surprising what you can cope with in these first few months. Good luck.

Answer 6

congrats!!!!...firstly new born baby seem to sleep more during the day than at night but in time she will sort herself out. I would say that the first 3 months are the hardest and then she will start to settle a bit more, they do it very slowly so you dont notice it and then all of a sudden they are sleeping through the night.Theres no harm in you holding her and I've heard that with prem babies they love skin to skin contact, enjoy her as they grow so fast. I also had a c-section with my 2nd baby and she's now 6 months and the pain does ease but remember it was a big op and you will take a while to heal inside..be careful lifting.Also both my babies used to gag and choke on their bottles, they also grew out of this.Well done the hard bit is over and the fun now begins x

Answer 7

it is totally understandable that you are feeling anxious. having a c-section and a premature baby is a lot to deal with, especially with sleep exhaustion.

what i recommend is that you call your health visitor for her to do a home visit for you to discuss your feelings. you may have the baby blues or maybe even post natal depression ( they are not the same thing).

i also congratulate you on continuing to breast feed you are giving your baby the best start in life so be reassured by that. i dont recommend that you breast feed while your in bed or share your bed with your baby as this increases the riskof cot death.

if you have any support from a partner or family and friends then you could express some breast milk so that they can feed the baby one night for you to have a good nite sleep.

it is very difficult to get such a young baby in to a routine or to stop her waking at night at present though.

hope this helps xxxx

Answer 8

the strain of being a mother at 16 is hard i was 16 with my first. the 18 with my second. my son was born over his due date so i didn't have these worries..
you baby would not of been able to leave the hospital if they thought she had problems with drinking her milk. try and keep her a wake during the day i know it will be hard but all you can do is try.. i bet you are so tired Hun. don't worry its normal!!
why don't you speak to your health visitor she might have some more advice. because its hard your 16 your baby was premature and every mother has questions. i hope this helps you and your baby.congratulations well done

Answer 9

you poor thing its hard enough copeing with a baby when you are in your 20's let alone at the young age of 16, my heart goes out to you, but don't worry you seem to be doing things right she is obviously putting on weight, try to keep her awake at some points in the day, i know its hard with a prem baby my first son was born at 32 weeks and its a natural instinct in them to sleep as thats what they would be doing if they were still in the womb. i didn't breast feed him as i think because i was so anxious about him being prem my milk didn't satisfy him so i put him on the bottle and things were a lot better, my second son was a month prem and i just put him on the bottle straight away and he was fine, just try to get into some sort of routine with your daughter that is what babies thrive on, i know it cramps your lifestyle somewhat but its worth it in the end to have a baby who goes to bed at a certain time then sleeps through the night, good luck and best wishes

Answer 10

I also had a prem baby. This is a lot for you to handle on your own so i hope you have some help. Babies like to feel secure so when you put her down to sleep make sure she is wrapped up tight in a blanket with her arms at her side. She may settle like this better. I also had a ceaser and you just need to give it time, plenty of rest and pain killers should help, also try a warm hot water bottle on your tummy, its lovely.