I had a suprise baby shower almost 7 years ago with my son. Since then I've had 2 girls. The car seat, swing, bouncer and high chair are broke.I do most of the big stuff and a few small things but no clothing/necessities. My boys are born in different seasons therefore the clothes wont fit my newborn. My sister-in-law had a 2nd baby shower, her son was 6 when she got pregnant again and it was by another guy so his/her family gave her another one.(Although she was expecting another boy during winter like her first). I had mentioned to my mother I would like to have a small one this time seeing it will be my last and I only have half the stuff I need. On top of that my last 2 children were girls so all I have is pink stuff. She said, yeah I was thinking about that. I offered to help and host it. I told my mother in law the same thing and got a negative response. I was shocked by her reaction, she made me feel horrible. Am I wrong for wanting a small baby shower?
2007-02-19 03:49:09 · 11 answers · asked by Momma K 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
sweetheart you go ahead and have this party and i bet many people will be glad to get a invite as you didnt have one for your girls so enjoy its your baby and i wish you a great party just wish we did them in UK would have saved loads lol as i have 16 grandchildren and i would have giving them ALL a big baby shower if i could have got away with it god bless and smile you are going be a super mom again dont let any one get you down
2007-02-19 04:04:42 · answer #1 · answered by one2treasure2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should get a baby shower for EVERY pregnancy! I got two for my baby, one from family and one from work. No matter if you are having the same sex in the same season you still need and want new stuff. It's not like you're asking for a whole new crib and bassinet and swing and all that other furniture. But you do need new clothes and bottles and burp rags and all the other little things that wear out.
2007-02-19 11:55:36 · answer #2 · answered by Xenik's mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. My mother thinks that it is wrong I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old and everything is gone or broken. My sister-in-law asked me what I thought about it and I said I think it would help us out a lot. I know that they are more common then they used to be. I say go for it.
2007-02-19 12:15:43 · answer #3 · answered by princess_becca25 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong for wanting a baby shower. My sister-in-law had a shower with all 3 of her children(2 girls, 1 boy) and her kids are 4,3, and 1.
2007-02-19 11:56:48 · answer #4 · answered by mom2ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that so many people have more than one these days simply out of greed. I think if your mother will throw it then fine go for it. Otherwise you said you don't need much and people generally give gifts when a new baby is born anyhow. Whatever you don't get you can buy. Good luck.
2007-02-19 11:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You wouldnt be wrong for having a baby shower for each child. Anyone who tries to make you think you're wrong is either overly judgemental, jealous, or has never had children or a loving extended family.
I had two showers for one baby. lol.
2007-02-19 11:55:13 · answer #6 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it wouldn't be right of you to have another shower. If you had one child and a shower then children after that you can't expect people to buy you gifts for your fourth child in 7 years. That's just not enough time in between children to justify it.
I'm totally for people who take 6 years in between pregnancies to have two showers but I wouldn't go to a shower for someone in your case, nothing personal but I think it's a bit greedy.
Go to a second-hand store and stock up on the things you need, if you don't want to buy them new.
2007-02-19 11:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by Nichole D 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
no, you are not wrong for wanting another baby shower!
there are so many reasons you SHOULD be having one....
1) you are having a baby!! I don't care first, second or tenth... this is a celebration for you more than for the baby....
your family, your friends are invited to share in this wonderful occassion.....
2) it takes a village to raise up an adult from babyhood.. okay... I changed it slightly from "it takes a village to raise a child"
not just in imparting wisdom... knowledge... but in sharing of the moments... those seconds in between all the hassles of the days, months.....
3) it is a BIRTHDAY! the gifts are to celebrate... you, your baby.... your family! and you know what? I would rather give a gift I know is needed, or in plenty of time for someone to exchange for what they prefer than to wait till after the Birth-Day! the items are almost always needed before leaving the hospital!
4) it is common practice to have another for a mother who is having a baby a few years, or many years, after that first baby is born... people give second and even third showers for mother-to-be's who are having a second, third or fourth child.... even two to three years apart.....
5) re-stating #1, because it is SO gosh-darned important!! when the baby gets here you will be tired (you know from experience) the items will either have been bought by you or others or a combination..... the focus will be on baby.... mommy becomes that forgotten entity who feeds, changes and loves the baby... tends the needs; emotional and physical, of the other children... reassures daddy he is #1.... mommy kind of gets forgotten as far as all the months of balloning, the emotional rollercoaster is still there... but, no one else seems to notice that it is affecting mommy...... no one is reminding you how great you did.... mother's day, they'll remind you how great you are... but, we all like hearing and feeling it more than once a year.... showers do it... all the family and friends coming together and not just sharing but helping out? the first leg of a journey the whole village is a part of....
the shower may be to celebrate baby's coming... but this is a celebration of YOU mostly.... with the daydreaming of baby, the sharing with your friends, loved ones that YOU are having a MIRACLE.... that you are a part of one of the greatest miracles!!
my sister and I were both expecting November 2005.... this was my sixth and her 8th (and she's younger than me!) lol.... I wanted to give her one... I knew she had two other showers....within two years, for her youngest two..... that did not change the fact she was having a baby!
I also knew the larger the family, the more the larger ticket items are likely to not be gotten..... unless her family and friends.... were to shower her with our love, gifts..... and attention! this was her eigth time being pregnant!! if number one is a time to celebrate? why wouldn't the rest be JUST as important... or? MORE important!!
I wanted one myself... my first marriage, and pregnancy, I had an unreasonable mother in law.... she felt that the baby shower is for the baby... and for her own reasons... she made a stink when people approached her about giving me a shower.... I had one... when my baby was almost a month old.... needless to say I had gone out and bought everything for her already.... and it was just family and friends getting pictures done with baby.... holding her.... not that it wasn't great....? but, I guess I felt a little cheated... so, even though I was planning this for my sister? I wanted to make sure she did not feel over looked, like I had been....I did not want my nephews, nieces or her to feel over burdened because of costs of baby things... I wanted her to know how I happy I am... and I will be there..... it never occured to me that she would do the same for me...... lol... our mom "conspired" secretly with us both... and we both walked into a party we thought was for the other..... that we had each given each other....!
I told that little tale because I wasn't doing a party for her baby.... nor because it was the first... I did it because I love her... I want her to always feel special... and hey, becoming a mom the first time is a challenge... becoming a mom the fourth/fifth time is it for you?? how is that any less of a celebration time? it certainly is more challenging.... and a much bigger expense! for us, we all went in together and were able to buy most of the things like swing, bassinet, rocker, another car seat..... like with all the other showers...
you know what? no matter how many big or small things are bought for us, for the baby... there is always (ALWAYS) more the baby needs..... showers are good for getting some out of the way...
if your mother in law has left you feeling as though she has a problem with it? I would first ask her, "I get the impression you do not feel I should have a shower...... is this right? why would you feel this way?" and after listening?
well, one of two things: the first is that maybe she was negative because she was planning to surprise you with one.. and she feels that "your side, her side of the family"<-inlaw type feeling... that her thunder was stolen? never know.... we look at the mean side first most often when it comes to our husband's mothers (I know.... most really are deserving of it.... but?)
or the second thing: you end up having to remind her that this shower, like all, is for the ones who love you to come together and share in a very precious, special celebration...that you are about to become a mother, all over again!! but if she did not wish to share this time with you? fine... you will ask the person throwing it not put her in the position of having to decline... and leave it there... let it sink in how she looks.....
remind her, when it comes down to it...if you have to.... that it is your life, family, your rules.... you party! she can be a part of it... or apart from it..... but, don't get upset over it... or her.... I know.. easier said than done....
here, you asked a short and simple little question..... I am sure you did not expect to get a "book" back for the answer... I am rather long winded I guess...
it is just such a GOOD question....not just you wonder.... or think about asking.... so many feel guilty over wanting one after the first baby..... I always wondered why we did not have one each and every time..... just makes sense to.....
anyway, I am sorry if I bored you (or anyone else) I hope this helps you out some.... you should not be stressing/stressed over how other people think you should do things.... it is your life! and it should be as individual as you and your family....... and as stress free as possible, right now especially......with baby coming! :)
good luck! congrats!! :)
2007-02-19 13:08:08 · answer #8 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see nothing wrong with it. And forget what your mother inlaw says she ain't the one that has broke stuff and kids. I think 7years is a long time and you deserve another one. And congradulations
2007-02-19 11:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by everlasting_matchstick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no I don't think your wrong although it may seem that way to others so i guess it up to you and your family how you want to handle it but I think it's perfecty okay for you to have another baby shower.
2007-02-19 11:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by nicole b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋