I have been with this guy for only two weeks. We have spent alotta time together and he has been doing alot for me. Valentines day he said he loved me but i didn't feel ready to say it cause i see us as more of friends than lovers....I don't love him and don't think i will ne time soon. When i first met him he told me that he gets attached easily and that he has always been hurt..and i promised that i would never hurt him like the other gurls who didn't love him. I feel completly filthy with evilness to even consider breaking it off...but if I don't i know this relationship will be even more miserable when he finds out i don't love him....basically the whole relationship would be a lie.... n I'm afraid that i might cheat on em.
you guys let me know
I have been informed guys like a girl who gives closer
Thanx
2007-02-19 03:11:40 · 9 answers · asked by amy-j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey I have to choose a best answer now but for those of you who may look back 2 find the relults...I broke it off telling him exactly what i have told all of you... and he agrees we should be friends...we talk online all the time still...and i am about to hook him up with one of my friends..so
YAY for me it's all good
thank you
2007-02-22 03:05:03 · update #1
Just tell him what you just told us, simple as that. If it's too hard for you, write it in email or something.
2007-02-19 03:15:02 · answer #1 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two weeks is not a relationship. You made a promise - not to hurt him - that is impossible for anyone to keep. You can't control what he feels. The fact that he admits that he gets attached easily and that he gets hurt should have been a big warning sign for you.
What you have to do is sit down with this guy and explain that while you don't want him to be hurt, you can't control how he might feel. Suggest that his strong need to be attached and his continually being hurt is a sign that he has some personal problems that you can't help him with. Then, tell him you're sorry but that his assumptions about being attached to you were not reasonable and that while you appreciated his Valentine's Day revelation, you just aren't the kind of person that moves that fast. (In other words, "it's not you, it's me".)
That ought to do it. And, although guys hate to hear this, let him know that you are open to being friends.
He may be hurt - you can't control that - but, at least you have been kind.
2007-02-19 03:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I have been with this guy for only two weeks"
If this guy says he loves you after two weeks, more than likely he doesn't love you... he is just infatuated with you, or gets googley when he sees you, and he thinks it's love.
YOU don't have to feel ashamed or bad because you don't have the feelings that he professes to have. These are your feelings, and sometimes they're completely out of your control. And you shouldn't be expected to love someone after two weeks. Love takes time to develop; sometimes weeks, sometimes months, sometimes years.
Therefore, you have two choices:
(1) Continue seeing him to see if more romantic feelings develop. (This could be very dangerous, see No. 2). Just because you don't have these great feelings for him now doesn't mean they can't develop.
(2) Dump him. Dump him now. In this case "hurting him" would be stringing him along for months and months under the pretense that you have romantic feelings for him and letting him get even more attached.!
A clean, hard break will be best. Don't talk to him; don't e-mail him; don't text him. Have no contact for at least 2 months. He needs to get over you. He'll hurt for a short time, but he will heal. Much more than if you date him for 6 months and then tell him you've not been interested this whole time. That's how you have to do it if you care for him.
IF you do Option No. 1, you MUST communicate to him that you DO NOT love him, that he is moving too fast, that you need time. If he can deal with that, then maybe you go forward. If he can't then you must move to Option No. 2.
2007-02-19 03:20:25 · answer #3 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
relatively love sucks!! regrettably to assert it doesnt get plenty greater powerful than that for some. yet when I had to grant you some suggestion i'd say purely to pass on. Your heart is broken for a reason. If he virtually enjoyed you there would be no question approximately the different women.you're 17 so u have an prolonged journey past to your self. greater fish interior the sea i think you are able to desire to assert. I even have been via many difficulty such as yours and that all of them finally end up terrible. i'm very comfortable hearted and consistently decide to makes issues artwork so everyones happy yet regrettably this cant consistently artwork. you need to sit down down and picture to your self and ask in case you would be virtually pleased with this guy understanding that at any 2d he would desire to turn his lower back on you. Or in case you will quite bypass and locate somebody who seems at you like your their international and no-one else is seen to them. somebody who treats you like the angel you're. stable success sweetheart.
2016-10-16 00:28:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sugar coat it, don't beat around the bush, just tell him straight out.
The best way, and I would suggest, is call him and tell him that you have to come over to talk about breaking up, ending the relationship, etc. Go over by him (so he's on home turf) and tell him the whole situation and BE DIRECT. Also try to see if you can offer to set him up with one of your friends.
2007-02-19 03:21:51 · answer #5 · answered by themicrochip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way, Letting someone down easy makes things easy for you but never for them. It's a myth. So if you have any respect for him at all you will just tell him exactly what you told us. And in the future, never promise anything you cant provide. No one can promise what they will or will not do in the future, so just don't do it.
2007-02-19 03:18:07 · answer #6 · answered by stephyhall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it is hard but you have to tell him you dont love him. because if you carry on, both of you will hurt. he will get hurt because your feeling is not there. and you will get hurt because you will realise how hard you try you cannot love him and you just feel sorry to him. love is not that easy and he is not only one who cannot get what he wants. if we fake 'love', end of the day, we just feel so empty. so i understand it is hard for you to say it but for your both sake, you should break the ice (sounds bit unfair coz you are too kind)....
2007-02-19 03:21:30 · answer #7 · answered by honeycoco23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all dont lead him on so he thinks you love him nip it in the butt right away tell him you only wanna be friends before he gets hurt even more k and good luck
2007-02-19 03:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
from a guys prospective......i would want to hear the truth
2007-02-19 03:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by rustler64744 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋