We are planning to get maried this summer, and I do love her.
the problem is im not really attracted to her. and sex seams like a chore. love or romance what do you think?
2007-02-19 02:53:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Unfortunately, I do NOT think you should stay with her. I'm sure many will disagree with this, but it is based on my own experience. I was engaged to the sweetest man I've ever met. He treated me wonderfully. But I also was never attracted to him. And it caused the ol' wandering eye. I didn't cheat, but thinking about it was bad enough. I broke it off. I feel terrible about it, but I know that I ultimately did the right thing or else I would have hurt this wonderful guy even more.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
2007-02-19 02:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by doggiemom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand where you are coming from because the purpose of marriage is to procreate and you wouldn't want to do that with someone who doesn't really get you off. I don't think I would stay with her because to marry someone you really have to be attracted to them mentally and physically. Its hard because you do love her but this could be a really big problem down the road and you might end up blowing a lot of money for nothing. Maybe you can go to a sex counselor lol (do they even have those ) I don't know, just make sure you know what you are doing before you make any decisions.
2007-02-19 12:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by Beffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely stay. Do you think she will be a hot piece of @$$ when you're both 75? No way. But will you still love her? Yes.
If sex is a chore, then you need to communicate about sex. Maybe she thinks it's a chore too, because neither of you are doing what the other really likes. Ask her for things. If you love her and she loves you, she will accommodate (except for those way far out requests.)
Remember, passion is fleeting; friendship, companionship, love, romance, respect--they're what makes a marriage.
2007-02-19 11:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
thing is, how can you claim you love a woman when you're not the least attracted to her? love encompasses more things than just that kind of warm, fuzzy feeling you have when you see her; it's about craziness, infatuation, wanting to share all the best and all the crap with her, and then finally being willing to go through the mundane stuff in life with her and still be thankful waking up to the same face every single day.
i guess this is not love for you, or romance. maybe there was love, but it fizzled out.
for the both of you to reach this stage (planning to get married) in life, i'm sure you had something there! you should try to look deep inside yourself to see if you're willing to invest the time and effort to rediscover those feelings of love you had or actually develop them. if not, then a wedding, whether this summer or any time next time wouldn't be good for the both of you. good luck!
2007-02-19 12:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by pinkcrysalis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to be attracted to the person that you are going to marry!!! It may sound a little shallow but sex is a big part of the relationship! Eventually you will want to do it with somebody else. Is it one feature that you cannot stand? can she fix it?(ie. she is fat and needs to loose weight) If you really love her and this is more important..find something attractive about her and run with it! Maybe it is the way her lips feel, her feet, her left thigh..anything!!! Tell her to buy some sexy lingerie, role play. It is so easy to be un-attracted so challenge yourself and make her attractive if possible! (It is) If you try and cannot do it, I would leave.
2007-02-19 13:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by kv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Absolutely do not get married to her if she don't turn you on. You are going to be pulling around a ball and chain if you do. Then if you get caught screwing around with a woman that does turn you on, she'll turn around and sue you for half of your assets and life earnings when you should be giving them to a woman that makes you satisfied.
There are exceptions to this, though. If she is an only child and her folks are really wealthy and or if she don't mind or maybe even enjoys seeing or hearing about you with other women. If these two examples are the case, marry her in a heartbeat!
2007-02-19 11:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please Don't stay with her I've been married now for 3 years but been with him for 12 years and i feel the same way and I think he does to and guess what we just got separated two weeks ago so please don't take that step now if you already know how you feel that's not right for you or her. What do you think your going to go the rest of your life cheating on her that's not right the vowels you are going to be taking are to death do you part in sickness and in health and so on so just think about it don't be a confused person like me. Good Luck
2007-02-19 11:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by Julia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not get married you have to be attracted to her in a sexual way as well to have a full solid marriage..... sex is an important part of relationship but not the only important element
2007-02-19 10:59:03 · answer #8 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am confused. You are not attracted to her Sex is a bother.
What is love? Please define it for me(or read up on the definition yourself just so that it is clear in YOUR head. There is your answer. Don't mess up 2 lives just because you are gonna pull out of the marriage later. Remember, you will be paying support.
2007-02-19 11:06:18 · answer #9 · answered by ButwhatdoIno? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did you ever find her attractive like that, if so what changed, maybe you just need to put the spice back into things, don't give up on a good thing just because the steam has gone out from the kitchen, try to experiment with the cooking a little.
and if that doesn't work maybe you do need to re- evaluate your relationship.
hope this helps, Maria X
2007-02-19 11:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by frost7216 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋