My friend is cheating on her bf of 3 years. No sex as far as I know but she does makeout with random guys at bars and talks to guys on a secret msn account.
Her bf wants to marry her when he's done graduate school. I know he would dump her if he found out but I don't want to be the one to tell him. At the same time I feel horrible about knowing this because he's such a nice, loyal guy who doesn't deserve to be treated that way. I don't want to get involved but my bf says he would want to know if it were him... What should I do?
2007-02-19 02:32:11 · 22 answers · asked by blondie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
...and she fully intends to marry him.
2007-02-19 02:35:01 · update #1
I'm not really friends with her anymore. She has a habit of treating people very badly and I ended up being better friends with him.
I still don't want to get involved, but it makes me feel guilty that I know something that's hurting someone else...
2007-02-19 02:41:09 · update #2
*****************BEST ANSWER HERE****************
Honestly, don't do anything. SHE'S YOUR friend - not him.
I think that subconsciously, he has traits that YOU are looking for and she doesn't appreciate them. Therefore, it's causing you to take inventory of their relationship.
But, reality, it's NONE of your business.
If you're willing to sacrifice YOUR relationship with your friend for a shot at him, then go ahead. Keep this in mind, HE may not even want you in the end.
So, it's a delicate situation you should distance yourself out of.
"To have a great friend, you must BE a great friend."
One love.......................
2007-02-19 02:37:25 · answer #1 · answered by HottNikkels 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
If your last annotation is accurate - that you're better friends with HIM than with HER - then your question doesn't reflect reality. If you've already let your friendship with the woman go, then as HIS friend, you should tell him!
The only reservation I'd have about doing this would be if he wouldn't believe you. If he trusts you and will accept this information, you should extend him the courtesy of letting him see the whole picture. It will save him more hurt later on.
You're in a lousy spot, but try to do what you'd want somebody else to do for you were you in their place. Good luck.
2007-02-19 02:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Either way there's a ruined relationship in the future: your friend and her bf, or you and your friend. Either he'll marry her, and then find out and that'll ruin the relationship, or you won't want to be friends with her anymore because it's too hard to keep her secret, and that'll ruin your relationship with your friend. Honesty is always the best policy. Tell your friend that either you tell him or she does. She'll be mad at you, but at least you're trying to make an honest woman of her. Unfortunately this way both relationships are most likely ruined, but do you really want to be friends with someone who does that stuff to her bf?? If she'll do that to her bf, what may she have done to you behind your back?
2007-02-19 02:40:21 · answer #3 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that what is RIGHT should triumph over what is convenient or easy.
If your friend knew your bf was cheating on you but didn't tell you, wouldn't you think she was a scumbag for not telling you this?
Your friend will probably not be your friend anymore, and will probably accuse you of trying to move in on her man, or that you don't want her to be happy, etc. I suggest you offer him some kind of proof to back up your claim.
He doesn't deserve to be treated that way. If you don't put a stop to something bad that's going on, you become a co-conspirator and become guilty yourself. I wish you luck, and I hope you do the right thing and save the poor guy from marrying someone who cheats on him.
Friends should stick by their friends, but one of the HARDEST things for a friend to do is to tell their friend when they are screwing up. I would say that if your friend insists on being a scumbag and you "stick with her", you become one yourself.
2007-02-19 02:34:50 · answer #4 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell her which you're sorry to disappointed her, yet you already know what you observed and you're purely attempting to maintain her some soreness. tell her which you're nevertheless her buddy, and which you would be right here for her whilst she properly-knownshows out the actuality for herself. you do no longer might desire to coach your declare or do something extra, yet once you opt for for to proceed, you ought to attempt tricking the slutty woman into admitting she kissed the boy. The boy will proceed to lie, so tricking a confession out of the lady is superb.
2016-10-02 09:29:48 · answer #5 · answered by snead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it and let your friend go. Look for another friend, if she ask's why, tell her that you can't stand her cheating ways and are tempted to tell her b/f and therefore you think it's better the two of you are parting ways. Maybe she'll stop because she doesn't want to lose you and if not, well then its not your problem anymore.
2007-02-19 02:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sure your bf would want to know, but wouldn't necessarily want to be told by his gf's friend. Not much you can do really - either your bf talks to the guy or you sadly let things take their natural course.
2007-02-19 02:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anthony M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i was in that same position. a friend of my husbands has been cheating on his fiance for months now and they are supposed to get married in 3 months. i felt really bad and thought that she should at least know before marrying the guy. i made up a secret myspace account and emailed her about it. that way she wouldn't know it was me. she sent me a message back and said that she didn't care! that she loved her man and blah, blah, blah. whatever you do, do it anonymously.
2007-02-19 02:36:44 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not your place. But I know how you feel, especially because this guy sounds like a good guy. What you need to remember is that you don't know every single detail of their relationship and there must be problems.
You can always talk to your friend and try to make her see that what she's doing is wrong. Maybe she'll listen.
But don't tell the boyfriend. Worse case is she denies it, he doesn't believe you and you lose a friend.
2007-02-19 02:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
i'll stay out of it. You can advise your friend. But if you tell her bf, she will probably be angry at you and the friendship would be over. I guess tha question is how much you value the friendship at her. Also, how would you know the bf will believe you (unless you show him some proof)
2007-02-19 02:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by chardonnayormerlot 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would talk to the cheater, tell her what you think, and if she doesn't change her ways, set her up so he finds her doing these things. nobody deserves that treatment, and if that is how she treats people, maybe you shouldn't be her friend either. who knows what she would do to you with her high morals? maybe you and her boyfriend will get together, he sounds nice, and so do you,
2007-02-19 02:38:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋