just started seeing someone, a big sweety and would do anything for me and treat me so well, but ive seen him for 1 month and he keeps saying ' i love you' How can you love someone after knowing them a month? i dont want to be horrible but he knows i just got out of a 3 yr relationship with a man who i had a house with its going to take a year at most to open up my heart again,
just dont know what to do any suggestions would be much appreciated.
2007-02-19 02:20:41 · 19 answers · asked by sweetness 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
People are so different - my husband made it clear he loved me within weeks of meeting (even if he did not say it). I knew within minutes of meeting him that I could see myself marrying him and we are still together after thirty years. Others take months. He may come from a very touchy feely family where feelings are out on show.
On the other hand it is almost intimidating when someone actually says the 'l' word out loud and repeatedly. It puts a burden of responsibility on you not to hurt his feelings, and that is before you count in the damage done by the ex., and the doses of TLC that are going to be required to heal the hurt.
Do you think this (your requirement for Tender Loving Care) might be behind his repeating the 'I love you' , or is it emotional blackmail, or him feeling the need to let you know how he is feeling?
Whatever it is, do you think it might be useful to let him know how you feel?
A suggestion of how you might say this is: I do appreciate it when you say you love me but I feel I need to take it much slower after coming out of such a long and damaging relationship.
Good luck.
2007-02-19 02:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by tagette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he loves you, what he loves about you... if he can't anwer then he clearly doesn't love you and is just saying it...
Also tell him that you want to take things slowly due to you just coming out of a long relationship that went pare shaped and you need time to get you feelings and life back on track.
Explain that you can't say to him that you love him as you've built a brick wall around your heart to protect it for a while and that you'll take the wall down brick by brick, the more confident you feel about the relationship with him. But emphasize that it will take time and you can't say how long.
Good luck and hope it helps.
2007-02-19 02:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi honey ! So nice to be sure a first rate question for a transformation ! So there's a 5 twelve months age hollow - My ex g/f is FIFTEEN years older than me ! for my section speaking - it won't make any distinction on your friendship starting to be extra intimate. some people will frown on it - yet you at the instant are not breaking any rules ! If he'd been any youthful - then you definitely could have been in hardship. build your dating gently - as you're saying - you're the two fragile beings - in simple terms take daily because it comes. you have purely ordinary one yet another a particularly couple of minutes - something of your lives is stretched out in the previous you - the way you progression at the same time - is as much as the two one in each and every of you. there's some people who will attempt their perfect to chop up you 2 up - yet have confidence me - in the journey that your thoughts for the different are sturdy adequate - you will come by using it better, and wiser. the very perfect of luck to the two one in each and every of you !
2016-12-17 13:41:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say tell him that you do like him, but don't want to rush things as you were really hurt last time and that hes freaking you out a bit with all the love stuff. Just ask him to calm it down a bit. If hes as nice as you say, he'll understand fully and make the effort.
2007-02-19 02:59:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont blame him for loving you..... Isnt the reason people go out with one another because of love for each other..... I can love someone one minute and hate them the next.... Constant Flux....
So you are just playing with his emotions until you are ready ....? Well what if by that time he thinks that you dont love him and has gone off you....? ever thought that might happen..?
2007-02-19 03:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by Fox Hunter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically you are finding it hard for him to say that he feels for you deeply so you rather him say it less often. Many women would KILL to have a man like him. There is no easy way to tell someone that you love that you don't want them to tell you how they truly feel.
2007-02-19 02:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by nymphette13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to stop being such an over-emotional puffter and to act like a real man and then punch him in the ribs.
2007-02-19 02:23:40 · answer #7 · answered by G P 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just say to him that things are moving too fast for your liking and that he scaring you by constantly saying he loves you.
If you feel nothing for him though maybe move on
2007-02-19 02:26:00 · answer #8 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just sau, i know you do, but you dont need to tell me all the time, otherwise those 3 little words will end up not sounding so special. something like that.
2007-02-19 02:39:57 · answer #9 · answered by Fader's Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
start worrying when he stops saying it....he's not IN love with you, but there's no harm in saying it, it may just be a kind comment he likes to give you each day...does not mean he's IN love....i always tell people i love them, but it don't mean i am actually in love....
2007-02-19 03:06:58 · answer #10 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋