I know that I am the only who can decide what will ultimately make ME happy, but given the advice I got from friends and family I need an outside soruce of recommendation.
So here's the story:
I've been with my current boyfriend for 6 years. We have a 3 year old son together, are renting a house from my family, and are both working hard to make something of ourselves, as we are not wealthy indiviuals.
I started dating him when I was 17. He at the time was 20. In that time we have changed very much and in my opinion have grown apart. We have nothing in common it would appear. He isn't my ideal boyfriend. Honestly, not even my particular preference when it comes to who I'd generally be attracted to.
I love and care about him very much, and don't want him to hurt. So, we have been holding on trying to make things work, especially for our son. We have both cheated and lied and done all types of deceitful things to eachother through the years, but stuck through it.......
2007-02-19 02:10:29 · 13 answers · asked by nichols_productions 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Recently, I fell into a job and have become attracted to this successful man at my work. We have been dating weekly for the past 4 months. I think I may be falling for him.
I was content with my life, not fully happy, but content, and now that I've experienced this geuine relationship. I'm torn between a new unknown terroitory or my comfortable past. If we break up I could jeopardize my whole living situation and more as I can't do it on my own. I know this new guy cares, what do I do?
2007-02-19 02:18:58 · update #1
Thing is, he proposed to me on my recent return from a trip,and he doesnt see things the way I do, he wants to give it one mroe shot, once more. I feel so rottne I cant even look at him, How should I break it off?
2007-02-19 02:23:10 · update #2
Honestly, can you see yourself living your life forever with this person? I don't think so. It's very cool of you guys to try and work it out together for your child. But trust me, it's better to have two parents who can be friends and get along then two parents together who can't stand eachother. You will just end up getting upset with him and it will most likely get worse. You two should probably sit down and talk about it.
Unfortunately, with so much history one of you will get hurt if not both. But you can't use that as a scape goat. If you are trying to make something of yourself then you need to be true to your self.
Good luck!
2007-02-19 02:17:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are doing things that would create a negative environment for your son, you need to split up.
If you think that you can get over it and learn to live with each other and produce a happy environment for your son, then stick together.
Generally, I think it's preferable to have both parents in the home, but if being together makes both of you miserable your son will pick up on that and that will not be good for anyone.
But what you should absolutly not do is break up, get back together, break up, etc. That would only confuse and hurt your child. Clean break or no break. Also, both of you should have custody or very liberal visitation rights of your son.
And also, consider this - do you want to be a single parent??
2007-02-19 02:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by Tiff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though both of you realize that you have grown apart & aren't supposed to be together...staying together only for the sake of a child is not a good enough reason to be together...if the child sees that the both of you are unhappy, then the child will be unhappy...better to move on w/ your life despite the history...obviously the both of you are looking for other things or the both of you wouldn't have cheated...your son will be fine in the long run & so will the both of you...try to stay civil for your child's sake...I'd rather be alone & be happy, than with someone & be miserable...breaking up isn't easy but eventually you will be able to truly find what you are looking for then...I would talk w/ him...good luck!
2007-02-19 02:25:35 · answer #3 · answered by godsmacksun23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying together is easy, making a split and starting over is the hard thing to do. I just went through a similar situation and believe me it's worth it in the long run. There will some tears and heartache in the beginning but it will all be worth it. We are only on this planet for 80 years, we might as well be happy with our time here.
2007-02-19 02:16:48 · answer #4 · answered by Homer DOH!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Don't want to tell you the wrong thing, but you should get out of that relationship now while you still can. I understand about your son but let your boyfriend see your child too. I have seen to many relationships break apart. Like my father, he was married for 18 years to my step mom, and they hated each other for about 10 years, they didn't want to leave each other, because neither one had anywhere to go. Please don't waste your life on a relationship that doesn't go anywhere. You can still love and care about him, tell him u just want to be friends!! I hope this kinda helps you, but I hope i didn't give u the wrong answer either. Make a wise decision girl!
2007-02-19 02:30:33 · answer #5 · answered by ~*Little Shorty Girl*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both adults, make an adult decision. Seems like it is time to move on, so you should come up with some arrangements for who is going to keep your son and visitations, child support, etc. Then I would suggest you take some time away from guys for a while to get yourself in order for you and your son, then get into another relationship. You don't want to become desperate without a guy around and go from dude to dude, so learn how to deal with life by yourself first.
2007-02-19 02:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by Matt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan for the worst with the housing and families, etc.
Stay the course.
Plan for the best scenario new man, romance you know what you want.
Whatever you do take your time with the decision.
I personally am quitting my job this year so that I can go back to school. It pays very well, but I've made enough money & got sick of it. It took me 3 weeks to decide but I'm positive about my decision.
2007-02-19 02:53:58 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both have cheated and lied, but your still together?!
This is why you shouldn't have a child before you were sure this was the guy you wanted, but it's a alittle late for that.
Maybe, you guys could try to have a non-messy break-up. Tell him you care about him, but things just aren't good if your both lieing and cheating. Have joint custody of the child and try to stay friends, you own that much to the kid.
2007-02-19 02:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really feel that you've grown apart then there's no point staying with one another for false reasons. If you both stay there is a chance that you'll end up disliking each other and won't be able to have a friendship for the sake of your child.. Time to move on..
2007-02-19 02:20:45 · answer #9 · answered by shears 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said u dont want to hurt him but with the lying and cheating you both are hurting each other that is not something you need to have your child in the middle of its time to call it quites before your child gets hurt staying together for your son will only make things worse in the long run children can sense when something is wrong
2007-02-19 02:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋