she is now using a wheelchair to get around the house she says she has a hard time getting around she is in a wheelchair and can hardly stand up because it hurts. I took her to the doctor and they said she has arthritis. I asked if she wanted to come stay with us she said no, I want to be home she is 82 years old. I have a job in the town I live in.25 miles away. She refuses outside help any suggestions .Also I wonder ifshe is paying her bills? How can I check?( I have asked her for power of Attorney to I could help her out she said no) I dont know what to do she tunes out my help I am noticing a decline in her health any suggestions ??
2007-02-19 02:04:49 · 4 answers · asked by Lynn H 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Wow ! That is a tricky situation ! It is hard for us to see our parents going through a tough time. Especially since your mom is living alone. When a parent is that stubborn, I would suggest some tough love... Have her doctor speak to her and tell her that she needs someone to help her out ( he must see her health declining also). Have the doctor tell her that you are worried about her welfare and that she should either have someone come in to live with her or she might end up in a patient care facilty. I think she is being so obstinate because she doesn't want to leave her home. She if afraid.
You might also want to call legal aid and see if you might be able to get power of attorney through them.
Try telling her that it's a scary situation for the both of you, and that you would feel guilty should something happen to her.
God Bless and Good Luck.
2007-02-19 02:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Lynn. I'm in a very similar situation to you. My Mum is 86, lives alone and is pretty stubborn about moving. She's confined to a chair , has a stairlift etc.
However, I don't live as far away as you do, I have 2 sisters in the area and we share care between us. My Mum has given 2 of us POA. I can't think of a way you can find out if she's paying her bills if she puts any post away before you visit, sorry.
This sounds dreadful, but in your situation, the only way I can see of changing anything is to wait for something fairly serious to happen, like a minor fall, then you can insist on acting. The problem is that unless she's sectioned or something, all you can do is respect her wishes, as inconvenient and worrying to you as that may be. Hopefully another 12-18 months, your Mum will begin to accept that she can't cope as things are.
Best of luck. Mail me if you wish.
#edit# I've thought of one way you might be able to find out about your mum's bills and stuff. If you're UK, you could claim Attendance Allowance and Council Tax benefit for her. I know more money isn't going to help as such, but you would have to know a little about her financial situation to claim these things. I was on to my mum for years about it....then her GP suggested it....so that was alright (!) She got it straight away. Citizens Advice will have the forms and will help you to fill them in....FOC.
2007-02-19 10:24:01 · answer #2 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she really needs is to either have live in help (or live with you) or moved to an nursing home or assisted living facility. She should not be by herself. Perhaps you need to speak with physician. Sounds like she's being pretty stubborn and it's not helping anyone whatsoever.
2007-02-19 10:13:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry about you mother
2007-02-19 10:14:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋