Depression Cure?

Question

I've suffering with depression for quite a few years. It seems to have started as I turned in to a teenager, I'm 34 now. I feel as though all my troubles are piling up on me. My mother died 3 years ago and that set me back big time. I am now having marriage problems. I seem to get upset really easy. I have terrible moodswings. But then some days I feel great. I find it all very confusing and can't seem to get my head round anything. I can't bring myself round to going to the doctors, I know I will just break down, and I am so nervous about going. Does anyone know of an alternative method to beat depression rather than relying on tablets?

Answer 1

you do need to talk to your doctor.

Answer 2

Personally, I'm afraid that I don't believe in a cure for depression, but there are ways of managing your moods. I've suffered from depression since I was about 11 - I'm 27 now. I was re-diagnosed last year as being bipolar. I point this out as I think that you really need to speak to a doctor. There are varying levels of depression and only a doctor will be able to treat you accordingly; that doesn't necessarily mean with prescriptions.
St. John's Wort works well for some and not for others. I don't think it would be all that helpful to you as you sound as though you're clinically depressed.

Exercise is a good idea. It takes your mind off of the depression whilst giving you chance to think more clearly.

Try not to feel sorry for yourself. That sounds ever so harsh, but I do mean well. I got into a terrible state over Christmas, but come January I decided to 'pull myself together'. It hasn't 'cured' me, but I do feel a lot better by simply not allowing myself to dwell on it and mope.

Anything that helps you relax will ease the burden. Reading and working in my case. Accupuncture, reflexology, massage, etc. are all good forms of relaxation, but they may well help the actual depression too.

As someone else has said: talk. It's very easy to talk to people on the Internet, so use that - it's free. I'd be more than happy to lend an ear. I may be contacted via my profile.

Above all else, do try and force yourself to see your GP. Tell them that you don't want to take any medication. They may well offer to help with counselling. You've had some bad times in recent years, so dealing with those issues would probably help enormously.

Good luck.

Answer 3

a psychologist does not give meds and is said to have about the same success rate as medications for the treatment of some kinds of depression.

there are lots of things you can do to help yourself and even if you did take the medications you would still need to do them in order to feel better. exersize is one such activity. laughing is another , seeing comedy movies and other light fun shows is a very good way to feel better. just going out with friends even if there not great friends is another thing to try.
i think your afarid that you might get locked up if you were to break down and cry at the doctors. well i can tell you that you wont be locked up just for crying. a doctor sees people who are very depressed every day. i know i have been there. unless you suggest that you are sucidal or homoscidal or in some other way not capable of keeping care of yourself you will not be locked up.
i really think that you should try seeing a doctor. should you choose not to go then at least do the sort of thing i have written becase often a person that is depressed gets into a rut . they dont go out and they dont do things that would be fun. so its kind of a trap . no one is happy if they dont do things they enjoy and never laugh. so try this simple stuff first . rent some really funny movies. then see if you can find someplace fun to go and see if just getting out of the rut is enough. if that fails then certainly some medical help is the way to go .

Answer 4

Many years ago I was like you and went to see my Doctor who was marvellous. I unloaded everything onto him and when I look back on those times I wonder that HE never committed suicide! If you won't go to your Doctor you need a friend you can talk to, and to get out of the house sometimes. You also need to get a hobby. Go to your local craft shop and see if there is anything which interests you. Some craft shops run clubs you can join to make things with others. You may find a skill which you never knew you had. This sounds stupid but sooner or later you will have to sit down and think whether you enjoy being depressed. If you don't, you are going to have to do something about it. It's only you who is capable of getting yourself better in the long run. In the meantime you ought to see your Doctor who'll help to get you sorted. You can't carry on alone any longer.

Answer 5

You could give ST JOHNS WART a try it seems to work for a lot of people but I would suggest that on top of everything else you are still grieving for your mother. I have found walking my salvation, long ,long walks do alter your mood, I start off totally down and at the end of it nothing seems that bad. I am a great believer in self help as apposed to running to the doctor every 5 Min's but sometimes you have to go, maybe a course of medication will get you back on an even keel again. Also if you don't find satisfaction from one doctor keep trying until you find one that can help you. Good Luck.

Answer 6

I too suffer from depression and believe hat it never really goes away; but you can treat it and manage it.

I debated for years to go on tablets and eventually did; but only for a few months.

I combined taking the tablets with going to counselling and having cognitive behavioral therapy CBT.

This helped enormously as you are able to talk through the reasons why you are depressed. It may also help you to put things in perspective.

Tablets do work but they only help with the symptoms of depression and do not treat the underlying cause as CBT will. Check with your doctors, the NHS or the web for therapists in your area.

Exersize also works wonders; even if you think you can't do much just walking out to the shop or round the park will be a great help.

I still get days where I feel low; but by having CBT, taking regular exersize I am able to manage my depression so that I am in control of it and it is not in control of me.

Don't be scarred to go and see your doctor; he will be sympathetic and will have dealt with many people in your situation.

The first step is the hardest; but you are not alone there is no need to suffer in silence.

A motto I live by now is "Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow.

Good luck.

Answer 7

As you have been suffering from depression for a number of years i do strongly urge you to see your GP. It doesn't matter if you break down and cry. Gp's are used to it and wont think you are silly. Your Mothers death would naturally set your depression back making you feel worse. Your mood swings could be a reactive anger at the loss of your mother?
I believe you should see your GP.
Ask GP for bereavement counselling
Speak to your husband about how you are feeling? Is your marriage suffering because of your moods/depression?
Please don't be nervous. No one thinks you are mad. depression is so common these days. Please go and get some help because it wont just go away.

Answer 8

In my experience, you cannot 'cure' depression - you can make it easier to live with though. You've been through a hard time with loosing your mother, and marriage problems can be extremely hard to deal with. These are the things that help me live with my depression.

1) Talk - bottling things up doesn't help. Externalise your emotions. Work through your thoughts, and try and understand why you are having them, and if they are helpful or not.

2) Keep a diary - work out what 'triggers' you have, make lists of things that make you feel good and things that make you feel bad. Look at your lists often.

3) Eat healthily - don't drink, avoid caffeine and sugar. Lots of fresh food, fruit and vegetables.

4) Stick to a sleep pattern. Go to bed at the same time each night and get up at the same time - even if you don't sleep at all in the night. Stick to 8 hours and don't sleep in.

5) Get outside for an hour a day - walk in the fresh air and clear your head.

6) Socialise - keep in touch with friends and family. Get out and meet people.

7) Set goals. Set realistic, achievable and positive goals. This are personal - I set goals such a doing a course, joining an exercise class, sticking to my diet etc.

8) Give yourself a break - you aren't going to get better overnight, you are allowed slip ups. Remember that no one judges you as harshly as you judge yourself.

9) Talk to your doctor - ask what help is available and take it! Talking therapies help a lot of people, and CBT or counselling or something similar may help you. Medication is an option, but remember that it is your body - you can decide what goes in. I know it is scary to open up to someone when it can feel like we are 'failing' by suffering - but you don't have to take the tablets, just go to talk and see what options are open to you. Don't worry about breaking down, my doc has seen me go through every emotion, I've cried, screamed, sobbed and shouted. They will understand. If you take a list with you with what you want to say, just hand it to them if you get choked up.

10) Talk to people who understand - it can be isolating feeling like you are the only person in the world with this awful illness. Talk to people who understand that some days it is too hard to get dress and who understand the reason why you stand in the supermarket crying over which tuna. It is liberating to know that other people are in the same boat - share tips on how to keep positive.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Hi,
I agree with lots of the others, YOU MUST SEE YOUR DOCTOR. He can help. I was in a suicidal state, relationship breakdown, pressures of work, kids giving me a hard time, lots of problems. He gave me citalopram, an anti depressant just to settle my thoughts, then arranged for me to see a counsellor, free on the NHS. She gave me some sessions, but referred me to a Psychologist specialising in CBT. Early days yet, and I still have bad days. But I am making progress. It really helps talking to a professional stranger who is unconnected with your life. Yes I am a man, and I sometimes cry at the sessions OK, its not bad to do so.

There are other things to help. Get out and do things;
I never learned to swim, so went to evening lessons.
Started going out with mates one evening a week for a drink.
Re-started an old hobby that I dropped when the kids were born.

It really helps getting out of the house for a few hours.

Good luck, you will get better, It just seems like you never will, but you will get there in the end, just be patient.

Answer 11

Exercise helped me and i really am a couch potatoe type. I got a dog so had to to take him for walks and it amazed me how often my mood changed. I wouldn't want to go but once I got out I discovered I quite enjoyed it and often came back feeling better. also the dog got me talking to people just a'hello' but over time i got to see the same people regularly and chatted more I think seeing more people helped too. I didn't get the dog to help the depression and I don't suppose it would help everyone but if your circumstances were suitable and you like dogs it might be something to consider.