i've been with my bf coming on two years, i dont love him. atleast not in the manner for which he would like, i have love for him as in i care about him but i dont want the drama of the "i love you exchange". i dont want to hurt his feelings and he knows exactly how i feel but i think its selfish for me to act this way.
should i give in and give it all a shot or should i let things stay the same?
2007-02-19 00:04:05 · 24 answers · asked by Island Beauty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the reason why we have stayed together for so long is we are each others best friends, i have reservations towards intense relationships because i've had very bad experiences.
he is well aware of all and wants to just let things flow naturally and which ever way it goes he said he'll be fine with it. he's very patient.
2007-02-19 00:26:56 · update #1
don't ever say i love you unless your heart feels it! don't give in if you don't feel that way,your doing the right thing(being honest)
2007-02-19 00:12:02 · answer #1 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it a shot if you believe that you are just afraid of the drama, but that you DO feel you can love him if you got past all that. I mean, he has been with you two years, so you two must be doing something right.
If you only love him, like a friend for example, and you can't give him the romantic love he needs, I'd probably break it off and let him find someone who can (unless he is totally fine with this, but I don't think most people would be).
2007-02-19 08:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by Rizzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been with him for two years & know that you don't feel the same way about him that he feels about you; don't string him along! Try and put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be the person being loved less than the other? Since he knows, he may just be so in love with you or comfortable in your long-term relationship thatn neither of you want to break things off. I think before you just throw it all away and you should try and see why you don't feel more passionate about him. Try saying I love you more.. if you've been together for 2 years, it won't be full of drama anyway... If you love him at all, put more effort into the relationship, otherwise, have a serious talk about what's going on... I wouldn't keep things the same.. eventually it could lead to arguments and worse problems.
2007-02-19 08:09:14 · answer #3 · answered by peaches87 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same boat except I'm with him 5 yrs and am getting married to him. I dont think I ever really loved him in the way he does for me but now its gone so far I cant seem to find a way out without really hurting him. If you are not into him end it now dont let it get as far as I did, you will regret it I promise. I'm trying to give it a bit more time and if my feelings dont get any stronger then I will have no choice I cant marry a man I dont love
2007-02-19 08:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Give in and give it all a shot"?????
Why would either of you want a counterfeit love? If you don't love someone, that's the way it is. That's what dating is for: to find out who you do and don't connect with.
If you don't mind my pontificating, that's the problem with the dating process these days. People get physically involved too early in the game, and then they stay together when they wouldn't otherwise because the sex forms a faux intimacy.
For pete's sake, you both deserve someone who knocks your socks off! Move on. Believe me, it's the best thing for both of you.
2007-02-19 08:10:37 · answer #5 · answered by Terri J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya know, sometimes people have an unrealistic view of what "love" is.
Love is a choice you make. He's obviously chosen to give himself to you and expose his feelings to you. He's probably under the impression that you'll do the same with him, but that you're just "scared" or "reluctant", or that you've been hurt so now you're "cautious."
That poor guy. He's obviously too young to know that women are capable of cold-blooded, life-sucking, emotional murder without any remorse or regret.
Here's what you do:
Tell him you're a cold-blooded, dead-on-the-inside, shell of a human being, and that you're not capable or interested in loving anyone... including him, unless they treat you like the cheap, worthless, heart-breaker you know you are (no offence). Then dump him. While he's wallowing in mental anguish and doing anything he can to find a reason to keep living, it won't hurt to have one of your friends go out with him for a few weeks to deaden the blow.
Ya gotta euthanize him now. It's the sad truth.
2007-02-19 08:24:05 · answer #6 · answered by HunterGreen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get out of the relationship - you both deserve the opportunity to find fairy tale style happily ever afters, and by the sounds of it you're never going to find that together. You care for each, true enough, but that isn't enough to sustain a relationship for the rest of your lives. Keep hold of each other as friends, but that should be all.
Find the love you deserve my darling
Lx
2007-02-19 08:10:14 · answer #7 · answered by Lauren A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
c'mon girl. all this problem needs is empathy and common sense. put yourself in his shoes. if you really love him you'd want him to be happy and he'd want the same for you. now ask yourself, would you rather be in a relationship based on loyalty or a relationship based on love? how can he be happy if you're not? things change, people change, life goes on. if you love him, be honest with yourself and with him. let him know you just want him to be happy and if you stay in the relationship, that exactly what you'd be denying him and yourself. the most important thing is to stay friends. good luck!
2007-02-19 08:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by WreckinShop 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
AS the song says, " you can't make a heart love somebody" Be honest with yourself and to him. It may be difficult, but honesty is the best policy, unfortunately someone is probably going to get his feelings hurt. However, you owe it to him to tell him he truth so that he , as well as you can get on with your life. Good luck
2007-02-19 08:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by vivib 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not up to us, Pretty One. But you need to have His Heart. talk to yours. They're the only ones that know for sure. It sounds corny. But it's the reason that we have so many failed Relationships. We've taken our Hearts, out of being Loved. And it's where it's suppose to be. Respect yourself? And give Love, from your Heart. Peace to ya!
2007-02-19 08:08:47 · answer #10 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love isn't something you control and turn on and off when you want. Its uncontrolable emotions. If you have to make yourself or give it all to love someone after 2 years I would suggest moving on. Trust me on this.. you both have to feel it without effort or it will fail..
2007-02-19 08:09:09 · answer #11 · answered by gregory_usa83 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋