I have to attend the funeral of my Grandmother on Friday, which I have to say I'm not looking forward to. Unfortunately I am also supposed to be at a wedding of a good friend which is taking place at the same time. Obviously I intend to go to the funeral but do you think it would be really awful if after the service I then went to the wedding rather than go on to the wake?
It's a really difficult descision please help
2007-02-18 23:51:11 · 25 answers · asked by lisa_lee100 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Zonc and Kyles GG
No, usually the wake commonly happens after the funeral service in the absence of the body and is often "wet" -- which is to say alcohol and food are served and, as a result, the wake often resembles a party for the deceased as well as being of comfort for their family.
2007-02-19 00:58:07 · update #1
Kit Kat
The last thing I need right now is F****king sarcastic know it alls Check out the Wikipedia site this has the definition of a wake. Then F**k off and go and do something usefull
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wake_%28ceremony%29
2007-02-19 01:20:42 · update #2
Would be good if you could show your face at the wake, even if you only stay for ten minutes. But being at the funeral itself is the main thing. (Attending helps with the grieving process apart from anything else.)
But if it is a really good friend getting married I'm sure your grandmother would understand you going to help them celebrate.
Attending the wake however may help you - it might put you in the right frame of mind for the wedding...
If you go straight from the funeral to the wedding you might not be in the right emotional frame of mind... The wake could be a gentle buffer between the two.
(All this depends, of course, on how close you were to your grandmother.)
2007-02-18 23:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by Matt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Attend the funeral, say your goodbyes to relatives and then go to the wedding. It will be diffcult to attend the wedding as you will probably feel quite sombre. But there is no shame in not attending the wake as you have already paid your respects to your grandmother.
2007-02-19 08:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by Prince 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very much personal preference. Do you think your family will be upset if you dont go to the wake. Perhaps you can go to the wedding after the funeral and then go back to teh wake afterwards if its still going on.
No one will make you go and no one will judge you for not going. a lot of people just got to pay their last respects at the funeral and then nip off.
2007-02-19 08:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by Sass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funerals are place where families gather to grieve. Your own family might need you for support. I would definitely go for at least a short time - then go on to the wedding afterwards.
At times like this, families are more important than friends.
2007-02-19 07:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I guess it would depend on how close you are to your friend getting married & who you would expect to see at the wake.
If your best friend is getting married & would really like you there, I'd lean towards that. If all your relatives (who are special to you) from out of town are attending the wake & it would be the only time you have to visit with them, then I'd lean that way.
How would you feel about yourself choosing one over the other?
2007-02-19 08:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are confused! The wake usually takes place before the funeral so you can easily go to both. I think you mean go for a family gathering after the funeral, this is different, probably not advisable to miss this but can go for a short while and then say you have to be somewhere.
2007-02-19 08:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by kyles GG 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should at least go to the wake for a small amount of time - say 1/2 hr to 1 hr.
You can then go to the reception of your friend's wedding.
2007-02-19 07:54:33 · answer #7 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would make it right with the most important ones and skive off the wake. I think it optional in reality.
The best in this, and a word of apology for anyone who has been sarcastic to you. It must be incredibly difficult as you have mentioned.
--That Cheeky Lad
2007-02-19 16:13:11 · answer #8 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wake is before the funeral..not after.
"The wake traditionally involved a period of time when friends and relatives literally stayed awake with the body of the deceased until it was taken to the church for the funeral or to the cemetery for burial. These days, a wake is usually held in the funeral home."
I don't know the name of the get together after the funeral...but it's not a wake.
I would attend the get together after the funeral and if possible, leave early and attend the wedding.
2007-02-19 09:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
go to the funeral of your grandmother then after the funeral you can go to the wedding of your good friend whats wrong with it at least you have attended two occasions which you do not want to miss
2007-02-19 07:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by Jesus M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋