i'm really confused!?

Question

i just started returning to church with my boyfriend about 8 month's ago. i've had a lot of bad thing's happen to me in my past. so i use to doubt God. but i got my faith back and i do believe in him. but since then i started smoking cigarette's and i've developed a drinking problem. i've been baptized. and i haven't drank in about a month and a half although it's hard because alcoholism gene's run in both side's of my family and most of my friend's do it. but i feel like my church sort of look's down on my for the thing's i've done and what i do now. also they are against gay people. now i don't really have an opinion on gay marriage but i definitely don't discriminate against gay people. i guess what i'm asking is am i in the wrong church if i feel this way? or do i need to open up more? maybe overlook these little thing's??

Answer 1

Never overlook things in life. Things that bother you do so for a reason, and the reason is ether within you or an external one. Listen within and do. You might be in the wrong church if it does not feel right. I was in a church that never really felt like home and stopped going there. It is OK to find yourself so that you know what it is you need. Then when you find something, you know you have found exactly what it is you need.

Answer 2

There's alot here I could say, but I'll try to keep it brief.
Your definition of what a Christian is- it's more than just believing, it's following. It's doing the word, not hearing it only.
It also sounds as if you've been attacked by the devil because you have picked up two addictions that are very hard to stop. Those things'll kill you.
You have also fallen for two big lies handed us by man, what man says, not what God has said.
The first is that alcoholism is passed on through genes. That's what AA says, and doctors, but the fact is, drinking is a BEHAVIOR. Drinking is a CHOICE. The urge to drink is an addiction.
The second lie is that homosexuality is an acceptable way to live.
According to the Bible, it most certainly is not.

We as Christians are supposed to be the "salt and light" to our world, whichever culture or country we are in. We should be influencing the world. Instead, the world is polluting US.
Be very careful which voice you listen to and believe, because there's a big whopping difference between what the world says, and what God has said.

I have been where you are. I stopped hanging around my friends that drank so as to not be tempted. When the Bible says that if your hand offends you cut it off, of course it doesn't mean it literally, it means to take drastic action to stop yourself from offending yourself. Do whatever you have to, in order to stop those things that hurt you.

Overall, it sounds to me that Satan really wants to keep you bound up and away from God, I'd bet if you get straight and throw yourself into church you would be a big powerful influence in people's lives for God. I think you have something good ahead of you. Take care.

Answer 3

First of all God is not the author of confussion, satan is, You say that you are now smoking & drinking, sister, God can take that away from you, He took away from me instantly drinking Vodka, in 1970, As far as homosexuals, The bible speaks against that lifestyle,. If you truely have repented of your pass, Don't let what people look down on you, ask them who is without sin cast the first stone & see what reactions you will get. Even though your pass life does show a bad decision, God can forgive you of it, & not worry about what people think, they are not your savior, God is. You do need to turn over your smoking & drinking to God. And if need be find another church, because if a church teaches salvation & then on't believe in it, there is something wrong. Good Luck

Answer 4

If you were in an employment situation and co-workers and supervisors where doing what your church is doing now...would it make you want to seek out new employment?

My point is that if there is a situation that is uncomfortable or bothering you for certain reasons, you have control over whether you stay or go. If you are feeling uncomfortable due to their "looking down" on you and are against certain things that go against what you feel is just and moral...then seek out another church that has views and values similar to what you have.

I changed churches 4 times before I walked into one that was incredible...the feeling of family there was astounding and the way in which everyone communicated and got along was so encouraging. The atmosphere was from the Minister down and there was never any negativity, judgment or any thing that made one feel uncomfortable. There are churches out there that are just fabulous...you may have to try a few on, just like clothing :) before you get the one that fits you.

Good luck

Answer 5

God doesn't direct us to hate homosexuals. It does say in the Bible that He thinks of it as an abomination. However, prostitution, thievery, and paganism are the people that Jesus contacted to convert them, not to hate them. He got mad at the ones who called themselves pious and did business on the Sabbath. We are not to hate the homosexuals but let them know the ways of sin is death. We are never to hate them. If your church teaches this, find a new church. I have been to two different churches where God wasn't present because He wasn't invited in. Man can ruin a church with his own idea of what he thinks God wants instead of taking from the Bible and learning what God wants and does. There is not one man or woman in church who does not sin, and still everyday is sinning so they certainly have no right to look down at you. These are the very kind of people Jesus had some harsh words for. The self righteous who condemns others when they are the ones who are the sinners.
May God Bless you and I will pray for you...

Answer 6

You sound as if you need a less conservative church. If you would offer sympathy to someone who has suffered from alcholism, you need it in return. Likewise, if you are tolerant of gays, then it will not do you any good to have the gay lifestyle trashed in the process of your normal worship. Find a church that takes a less critical, more loving line towards outsiders (and what you call sinners) than this one.

Good luck avoiding alcohol. It does no good. Also, try to cut out the cigarettes - they aren't a sin, but they are anti-social and very bad for your health!

Answer 7

Dear Friend.

The Bible teaches the following:

Luke 10:27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[a]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]"

Jesus taught us that these were the most important commandments. ~And also

Matthew 7
Judging Others
1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Jesus taught that your Brothers and Sisters in Christ should not judge you, for you were forgiven by Christs sacrifice when you were baptised. Are you sure that you are not beating yourself up over these things? If you are still drinking and smoking it could be the Holy Spirit convicting you to stop these things.

I would suggest calling this helpline that was a great relief to me the other day:0870 600 6170 (UK) a Sympethetic ear and voice will be available to guide you.

I hope you find the clarification and peace that you need, take heart God loves you!

God Bless

Answer 8

you say you have been baptized , but have you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior ? have you admitted that your a sinner . have you ask God to Forgive you for your sins ? Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins and on the third day arose and is now in heaven with God the Father ? have you Ask Jesus to come into your heart and be your Lord and savior? and repented of your sins ? do you confess Jesus as your Lord and Savior? ???? if not , then do so by praying to God and asking Jesus into your Heart . and if you have already done this then yes it is going to be hard . it is not easy being a true child of God. and satan will fill your head with all kinds of stuff to try to get you out of church and if the people in the church that you go to are judging you , then that is where they are wrong , and if so then maybe you should find another church . or maybe you should confront the one in a loving way that are doing the judging . pray and hear what God is telling your heart , do what He says , not what people say . ask God to help you with the drinking trouble. Seek first the Kingdom of God and all thing shall be added to you. in other words, seek The Lord and let Him be you Lord and Savior and set you heart and mind on the things of God and in prayer hand all these other matters over to Him. Jesus is there with His hand out to you , all you have to do is grab it and hold on...... hope this helps and God Bless

Answer 9

I don't think you fell into the well again because you turned back to God and start believing. I think it's more of the atmosphere where you were in, at the church. If you are in a place that people make you feel uncomfortable in, or like I said, in a well, it might be because you are a little critical about your surroundings. Just try to be more open and accepting, and see what happens. If you've tried it, and nothing improves, change church or like another person had said, change religions. Always remember that it's your life. You make the choices. Don't let people brainwash you into believing things like "gay people are sinful" or "atheists are ignorants and arrogant" or "we should use animals to our own advantage," etc. I know because I've heard lots of these pathetic little things, and they've gotten me depressed, because they make me feel like I must believe it and stuff to be happy. In reality, my school actually teaches that only Christians could really be happy, or will be the only ones that truly obtain happiness, and so on. So whenever I'm depressed I think like "oh I'm not believing in God, that's why I'm depressed. I should become a Christian, and then a better Christian." That is just full of crap though, because everybody has their ups and downs sooner or later, and everybody becomes sad in at least one point in their life. What I'm really saying is that, you have a mind of your own, use it. Don't let people put things into your thoughts or words into your mouth. If you feel like you can't take it anymore at the church, or feel uncomfortable because you think they can get very close-minded, choose another hobby or activity. You completely have the decision. It's your life, and as far as most of us know it, we only have one. Why waste it listening to thoughts or reactions that you don't like. There are many other things out there like reading, writing, painting, drawing, sports, travelling, people with common thoughts, animals, charity help, orphans etc. Stuff that deserve your attention more, too. Keep in mind that it's not a small world, and those aren't the only people who you'll see, unless you limit yourself to them. Do what you love, don't what you don't like. The most important thing, in my opinion, that makes you happy is to do what you truly like. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can really stand up and say, "I am right. I have the correct opinions, this is what you should do and this is what you shouldn't, etc." Everybody has different opinions, that's why the world is neither all good nor bad, that's why we've got the ups in downs in life, most of us think differently. I think that's the challenge in life. Then again, as you have options to choose, take the chance. Most girls who live in strict Muslim countries, or fanatic religious families, don't even have a chance to express their true thoughts.

When you feel like you are at a point where you can never be happy again, falling into a fathomless well where you think you will never see daylight once more, I think your mind is really tricking you. There's always happiness and life, and sadness as long as you live. Remember there will always be daylight as long as you long for it, and reach out for or observe it. Happiness is the same. Live the way you think is best. It's your life. Your mind. Nobody else, or at least I think so, can ever replace your position or read your mind because they are not the same. Have you heard of any two person being completely the same - think the same, look the same, react the same, and faced the same problems? Cus I don't think I have.

I have and am experiencing almost the same thing. Two years ago I was in another country and school, but I was very depressed. Then everything started to brighten, until my dad had to move for his job, and now I have to go to a Christian school, because I tried another school before, but it was way too undeveloped. (Too many stories to tell. Lol.) Whereas the only other international school is way too expensive. We have bible as a class, prayer as well as reading scriptures daily. Almost everyone I know at this school beliefs in an all-powerful being, God while they believe that we can't do anything, that we are useless without the Holy Spirit. Whenever someone makes a mistake though, most of them don't go like "oh it's okay, you'll do better next time, don't give up." But they leave that person alone instead. They think that when you make a mistake you need to listen to God and spend time alone with God or something, I'm not sure. What I know is that when I got extremely depressed because everyone almost knew I wasn't a real Christian that reads the bible n stuff, so they kind of looked at me what you call an outcast. In all the other schools I make friends as early as the first day, latest last day of the week. In this school, I've tried, but they seem to ignore me by talking over me when I speak and stuff. That got me extremely depressed, and my depression got worse when I did school work because almost everything involved opinions about the Holy Spirit. They say stuff like the Roman Church was distorted, and that there are only some true Christians. They have that high expectation of being "all-kind" and all "spiritual" or "pure," people who almost never commit sins since they met God or so on. I had been confused, and felt left out for ages. It's been the fourth month, and only now that things have started to look better.

Answer 10

You are definitely in the wrong church. A church should never be against a person. They may condemn a behavior but not the person who exhibits the behavior. We are all struggling against something.
A church should make you feel comfortable and safe not confused. It should give you strength to overcome your addictions and understanding if you try and fail. God is an all forgiving and very loving parent.
A church is only a group of people. If you are uncomfortable there, you can find a church that will welcome you and make you feel comfortable.