Storie 2-Surrogate Father?

Question

The Smiths were unable to conceive children & decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife goodbye & said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband & I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, & perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry & me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions & I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in & out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied.
"And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing & yelling.
I could hardly concentrate, & when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Answer 1

excellent!

Answer 2

That's too funny-thanks for the laugh Neo!!

Answer 3

very clever wordplay!!! well worth the read - im gonna email it to some mates!!!!! so good i gave you a star!!!

Answer 4

veri nice i wud rate it infinite/10

Answer 5

funny try this


Son: "Dad, why does love-making makes you feels good?"
Dad: "Just like digging in your nose, it's feels good, don’t it!"

Son: "Well why is it that guys don't usually feel as good as gals?"
Dad: "Just like when you dig in your nose, it's your nose that feels good, not your finger!"

Son: "Then why do gals feel bad when they are raped?"
Dad: "Would you like it if a stranger comes along and sticks his finger in your nose?"

Son: "When girls are having their menstruation, why don't they usually want to have sex?"
Dad: "If your nose is bleeding, would you still want your finger in your nose?"

Son: "Dad, one last question ... why don't guys like to wear condoms when they make love?"
Dad: "Ever try picking your nose wearing a glove?"

Answer 6

im still waiting for the punch line

Answer 7

LMAO!! More excitement than she wanted!

Answer 8

So funny

Answer 9

that was a good one..well worth it

Answer 10

This is by far the best an new joke I have read on this section. LOL Thanks

Answer 11

a big read. but well worth it