Why did she tell me to hug her?

Question

For my birthday my friend from work brought me brownies and then went to happy hour with myself and a few other coworkers. I had quite a bit to drink and she ended up driving me home. When she pulled up to my place I thanked her for everything and extended my hand for a shake. She then said, you don't shake your female friends hands you hug them. So I gave her a hug. The only reason I didn't hug her is because she says she is seeing a guy, and i respect that. Why was it so important to hug?

Answer 1

Personal contact can be confusing as it can mean different things to different people. I personally like to be physically affectionate with female friends without it necessarily having any romantic connotations. But I generally take my cues from the other person. There are some of my very close female friends who I would virtually never hug because I know they would be uncomfortable with it. Others are only slightly more than casual acquaintances and yet we will always greet with a hug. Often such hugs will go with a kiss on the cheek; once again such a kiss has virtually no romantic connotations. A kiss on the lips is entirely different, but a kiss on the cheek can simply mean friendship.

On that occasion maybe she wanted to let you know she considered you as a friend more than simply a co-worker. A hug may have been her way of showing just a little deeper level of friendship but way quite probably not intended to signal anything more to you. Confusion arises when once person views the hug as simply a friendly gesture and the other connects all hugs with romantic contact. If in doubt and there are no other signals to the contrary, in this instance I would consider the hug as no more than what she indicated, a gesture of friendship. If she means more by it, in time she will find other ways to let you know.

For what it's worth, when I was first married my wife was a bit uneasy when I would give another woman a hug; in time she has come to realise it is just my way and that nothing more is meant by it, and she will also hug most of our female friends (and most of their husbands for that matter)

Answer 2

She told you to hug her, because that is the polite thing to do, you don't shake a female's hand.

I have trouble giving out hugs casually too, but many people can hug anyone without a second thought. A hug is a little more personal to me, so sometimes I dodge them instinctively. It is embarrasing I wish I could hug anybody without a second thought.

For instance just recently at christmas my cousin's daughter who is 15, tried to hug me and I dodged her. I felt like a real idiot with everyone watching. I think I hurt her feelings and my cousin probally did not like that, but it just happened by instinct.

In social situations when I am with friends, often their wives or girlfriends will try to hug me and I dodge them. I get funny looks from everyone, but I can't help it. It is like a reflex I wish would go away.

The only people I feel comfortable hugging are my parents, relatives I have known a long time, or a girl I have been dating.

Answer 3

Because she didnt want to feel like a freakin taxi driver? A hug made her feel paid in full, feel like a woman......and its not counted as cheating, so she could get away with it. If you were an ugly bugger, Im sure she would have pushed you out the door...so make of that what you will. ;)

Answer 4

Well it was your b-day..maybe she was just being nice..and even though she has a patner..doesnt mean you cant hug her..nothing wrong..especially since she asked for one.

Dont look to much into it..just looks like a friendly hug.
If you feel uncomfortable hugging her or something just let her know.

Answer 5

she's feeling cold!
think that way man...

Answer 6

maybe she likes you!!! ;p