Will it be awkward my mum looking after my baby when i return to work?

Question

I go back to work next month and have managed to work my hours out so that me, my partner and my parents share in the childcare. My parents adore my daughter and she is the mopst spoilt baby in the world but i am just a little concerned that if we have any disagreements about anything they do with my baby it will ruin our relationship, we are very close? what do others think, should i be happy with the arrangements or be looking for a nursery?

Answer 1

I would be happy with it, you just need to set the ground rules down from the start. And when the child is older make sure you get it in a good preschool or program so it can socialize with other children. Just think to on what you will save on daycare. Also you wont have to worry about the baby knowing they are taking care of her. Let them have that time with your daughter, they grow up so fast. And there will come a time when they will no longer be able to take care of her. They raised you right didnt they? I am sure they did since you say you are close. I think it is great! If you have a disagreement instead of arguing, give them your point of view and why you do things the way you do. Then let them tell you theirs. But i would be tickled pink not to have to worry about the baby when I am working. Give it a trial basis and if it doesnt work out then look for a nursery. Babies need alot of love and attention and give your parents a chance.

Answer 2

As a baby it should be ok but as the child gets older (walking) she will need more companionship (other kids)...so look for a good nursery then. Tell them this is your plan because when parents get bonded...they find it just as hard to let go as little ones do.

If you trust your parents and they raised you as well as you needed to be....let them do it as they see fit. Kids know the difference in rules between grandparents and real parents. If you know in advance that they do things you dont like....ie watch too much TV and ignore bubs, allow crying techniques, feed them cordial and biscuits all the time....then just dont go there. If you dont PAY the carer...you lose all right to say what is ok and must cross your fingers....as they are doing you a favour.

Answer 3

I have two children. My oldest being 3 1/2. I returned to work from having him when he was 8months old. My mum looked after him.
I know my mum has bought me up fine, however, having my own child, I feel was my chance to be a mum, and make the decisions for my childs best interest. I have had quite a few problems with my mum & stepdad...i suppose, being grandparents, they feel its their time to 'spoil' your kids (and that is fair), but i found that spending too much time with my mother has had (for me) too much influence over my child.
Problems include...1.my parents saying im 'using' them by just getting them to have kids only when I work. 2. My parents not looking after my childrent the same way my husband and I do (eg: feeding habits/presents EVERY visit/making my children over hypo in playing etc.
I ended up beginning my son in a home based daycare - I knew what happened, I knew other people there, and it was a smaller group of kids. Plus, your child learns social skills by being around other children.
Now...with my second child..she is 10months. I have just put them both into a daycare centre. I researched, and spoke to other parents who had children attend the same daycare, and looked up the net before i enrolled them. I met the staff on a few occasions with my children, to see how my kids reacted and made sure it was the right, comfortable place for them. They both enjoy it immensly and has influenced them in every positive way possible.
If you get your parents to babysit..make sure they understand the rules first. YOU are theLAW.
If you go daycare...make sure you do your research and you will find the right place. Meet the people first...you will know who and where is genuine and will look after your baby.

Answer 4

Hi dollface ,its a good idea to have a talk with your parents about such matters that will crop up along the way such as discipline etc ,do it now and you will all be going the same way ,all too often mummy says no and nanny says yes about sweets for example ,you get the child home after the little one has been eating sweets all day the child wont sleep because all the sugar,you are angry with your mum and she says its her grandchild and she looks after her she will do as she likes ,talk now avoid this upset ,good luck xxxxx

Answer 5

Look for a nursery but still give the grandparents some allowance to stay eith the child. Where I live it is so normal for the parents to take care of the grandchild

Answer 6

I agree. Your parents are a much wiser choice than a child care center.

Since you are close, it shouldn't be too hard to discuss any issues you might have. Be careful what you chose to dispute. You may have a feeling of "it's my baby and what I say goes." But as the previous poster said, your mother raised you and didn't do a bad job.

Answer 7

i think it is great that your parents want to watch your child...and the child will be much better off with someone that loves her..i would just try to get along all you can with your parents...i think you must have real special parents...even if you ever disagree on something it should not come between you and your parents..you have only one set of parents...and i have lost both my parents recently...and you do not know the pain that does cause..i feel so lost...i think you are blessed and your daughter will be blessed by this arrangement also...

Answer 8

You are the parent, so in the end your word is law. I am sure your parents will be a blessing to your daughter while you are at work. You can discuss your concerns with your family before this all begins. Remember as they care for her to choose your battles. If it is nothing major...let it go. That is how I worked it with my mom when she offered to care for my son when I went back to work. Things were terrific for all of us.
If you can keep her out of daycare...do it.

Answer 9

no, that is a smart decision
your parents raised you right?
let them take care of your baby whilst you're at work, at least you can rest assured that your bub is in good hands.
i used to work in a childcare centre and i would never put my baby there if i had the choice
rest assured you are doing the right thing :)

Answer 10

you need to set some ground rules about her like the rules you have for her at home apply for her at your parents and how long you think your parents are gonna have her before you think about nursery's and you need to be firm about the way you wanna bring her up i have the same problem my mother in law was so old fashioned good luck x