Is it possible for a girl that has had a hard life growing up to feel like they are being treated so well by their boyfriend that they dont deserve his love and feel like they can't love him in return? If so how do you fix it?
2007-02-18 22:03:33 · 9 answers · asked by Confused as hell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
make a friends loh.good luck!
2007-02-18 22:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by gigi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if i didnt know any better i would have said i wrote your request. so similar to feelings i had many years ago!
Firstly if your boyfriend is treating you well......hang on to him. He is special.
Secondly if your life has been hard you have baggage and if your bf is understanding he will help you through this.
The most important thing for you is good communication about your fears and insecurities to your man. Tell him how you feel and that you love him dearly but are having trouble showing it.
You will show him you love him in a different way. Do you know what that is yet? Love isn't all kisses and romance. It's also about the little things you do for him that he appreciates. You will find your own little way of showing him until you are comfortable with the other side of love (hugs, kisses etc)
Don't feel guilty that he loves you. You do deserve to be loved!!
You are with the perfect person to help you open your heart to love and everything that goes with it.
You are scared you may be hurt and that sometimes shuts you off getting close and you put this big brick wall up between you.
Eventually, with time you will take down the brick wall, brick by brick. Just be patient and believe YOU ARE MEANT TO BE HAPPY. :)
2007-02-19 06:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by simone c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite possible! If this girl has had people in her life that have not been positive, she has a low self esteem and believes that she doesn't deserve anything good! She needs to begin to love herself in order for her to love you! You can try to build her self esteem by complimenting her about her many qualities or get her involved in activities that she'd be good at, so that she will feel good about herself! There are some really good books in the self help section at Barnes and Noble, that you could research and maybe buy her or recommend to her! It sounds as if you are just what she needs to love herself! You ROCK! Good luck to both of you!
2007-02-19 06:15:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has been treated badly, she probably doesn't have a very high level of self-worth. And, this isn't something you can fix...or that she can fix alone.
She really is gonna have to go for counseling. I recommend a good psychologist....as opposed to a psychiatrist. Psychologists focus more on talk therapy....to help her realize her illogical feelings. Psychiatrists typically just wanna give you medications.
Of course, she might need meds, too.....so be open to that, if the subject comes up.
I know that everyone on here seems to shout therapy at every question. But, trust me on this one..... it's the only way.
Good luck, and God bless!
2007-02-19 06:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by treefrog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is completely possible. I had a rough childhood and the girl I am with now blows my mind. I feel as if I don't deserve to be with someone so loving and caring, but I've learned to cope with it.
I've also been in the situation that you're in and you need to have a discussion with her and let her know that no matter what her insecurities are, you honestly do love her and want to be with her. Let her know that it doesn't matter than she doesn't think that she deserves it, and that she just needs to accept it.
If she continues on with the "I don't deserve your love" lines, she probably isn't really into you. I hate to break the news, but she might not want to hurt your feelings, and figures that she can let you down easily.
If you are the female in this situation (it isn't clear), than you need to just accept your boyfriend for who he is. He loves you for a reason.
I wish you all the luck, and I hope that for your sake, it works out.
2007-02-19 06:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have had a hard life that is causing you to distrust that anyone could love you, you need to seek out some counseling. Through that your eyes will hopefully open and you can see yourself for the lovely person you are. Your boyfriend is no fool. He loves you because you are loveable. Embrace that and him, and try really hard to get some help.
2007-02-19 06:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's possible. I've heard about it a few times. It's a tough one! I think you should just carry on treating her well and tell her that she's special to you. Don't make a big deal out of outings and stuff. Let her know that your doing it out of love and not obligation but in a subtle way so you don't scare her more.
Good luck!
2007-02-19 06:15:55 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar bf.I strived too hard to fix it.Gave all my heart and soul to make him feel well deserved of love and extremely special.Yet it didnt work.That's what i call destiny.
2007-02-19 06:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by Sheeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy. that girl has some deep emotional baggage that stops her from allowing the love. she will need to find the root of the issue to understand it and let it go. it is possible.
2007-02-19 06:07:42 · answer #9 · answered by orange 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋