If roses grow in heaven
Please lord, send me down eleven
For I have one that I found
That is perfect, nice and round
I happened down this trail
When some birds began to wail
They guided me along
By the rhythm of their song
They led me to this spot
Was it fate, or was it not
And I surely have to say
That it was my lucky day
I found it near a weed
Where you surely placed the seed
And from the morning dew
It got its moisture, so it grew
But the day was getting late
And I thanked you for my fate
And if in heaven there’s a vase
Can you send it to my place
2007-02-18 22:00:54 · 10 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
1
2007-02-18 22:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
2
2007-02-18 23:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by yellow_melon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3
2007-02-18 22:51:54 · answer #3 · answered by shahinsaifullah2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5
2007-02-18 23:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by gone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it, but it could do with a bit of a rethink. I'd give you 8/10 though. I like the idea of it and the general topic. I think you've used some words simply because they rhyme - not always the best option. I really don't like the last line, that kind of ruined it for me.
On the whole, it's a lovely poem. It's certainly worth working on.
2007-02-18 22:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by Claudia W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I give it a 4. You have some good ideas, but need to choose your words more carefully.
For example, "I happened down this trail / When some birds began to wail" ... it sounds as if the birds are miserable or in pain, which clashes with the mood you're trying to protray.
Keep writing. You have talent, you just need to keep refining it.
2007-02-18 22:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by eagedeon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it incredibly is an remarkable poem. i like it. It holds heartrending certainty in it. I provide it a a hundred out of ten. i'm going over the size in this one. i'm sorry i could no longer save it interior of it nevertheless. no longer many human beings can write poems like this. sturdy interest, i wish to study greater in case you have any.
2016-11-23 18:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2, for the rhythm.
2007-02-18 22:10:12 · answer #8 · answered by Siezee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10/10/
I think its sweet..
2007-02-18 22:12:23 · answer #9 · answered by Richbitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7.9
2007-02-18 22:05:30 · answer #10 · answered by as_0917 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋