6 mons. ago, my net b/f of over a year moved in with me. We get along great on a superficial kind of level. However, ultimately my intuition tells me not to trust him.
When he first moved in, he was drinking and I caught him flirting with other gals, online. He said it was just "play"....didn't mean anything.
But, what troubles me most is that he rarely wants to be intimate. And, he never gives me more than a light kiss or brief hug. He swears that he loves me, and that he finds me attractive.
He is 51, so I thought that maybe it was a medical problem. But, after a few months of trying to persuade him to go for a check up....he still hasn't went and keeps putting me off.
I ask you....do you think a guy can love you, and never wanna make love with you? I think he just needs a place to squat. He's pretty broke.
2007-02-18 21:32:27 · 21 answers · asked by treefrog 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
btw.... He loves to watch porn, too. :( I think he is peeing on my leg and tellin' me it's raining...
2007-02-18 21:33:49 · update #1
To the outside world, I'm sure we'd all say that the relationship is doomed. On the other hand, I think you already KNOW that it's over and has been over for a while.
To answer your question of whether it's possible to be in a relationship and not be intimate, then the answer is yes. It's called a friendship. (There is actually an extremely rare group of people in the world who indeed lack any and all sexual desire, but if he's watching porn, that's a dead give away that he's not part of that rarity).
I think it's time to call it quits and tell him to move along. You already know it's headed nowhere and there's no point in having him drag you down with him.
I wish you the very best in getting him out and getting your life back!
2007-02-18 21:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I depends on his personality... it can either mean one of two things:
1) He might have terrible insecurity and intimacy issues. Many (not all) individuals that seek the net as their form of social conduct are this way. There is a secure wall with a screen name so when it comes to real life, it is frightening. He may not know how to engage. In fact, do you know what he's ever been intimate before? If not, it could be even more frightening for him. Very vulnerable position.
or
2) he's playing you for a place to stay.
Either way, it's an uphill battle. But the first is much more forgivable. You have to ask yourself what kind of person do you think he is.
2007-02-19 05:42:07 · answer #2 · answered by orange 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, men have been programmed since birth to make as many babies as possible in their lifetime, and it goes on forever until they die. I think this pretty much explains the 'flirting online' thing. No matter how attractive you may be, they just can't get enough of it. Anyway, perfect men are hard to come by, so if you want to get the fires of love burning, just go ask him what he really wants. That's the beginning of a constructive relationship.
2007-02-19 06:02:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first off.. he's 51... yeah age is just a number. But still. Anyways, if he's flirting with other girls online yeah bad sign there. I just had my 4 year annaversary with my bf i met online. He use to do the same **** but we went through counseling and worked our crap out. I seriously never just say this but kick that guy to the curb, he sounds like a freaky weirdo/hobo. Don't let him live there if he has no job and doesn't do anything but look at porn all day cus if you let him live there and say nothing he'll feel like he's welcome to do whatever he feels like. Kick him to the curb and say hit the road JACK! Or whatever his name is...
2007-02-19 05:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by Foxy20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is wht hapenned wid one of my friend too 3 months back and she is regretting it now. I'll insist tht u must quit this relationship b'coz this relationship is gonna take u nowhere. From the details u'd given, it seems tht this guy is a looser n u r nothing more than a medium he's choosen to live his life easliy.
2007-02-19 05:41:02 · answer #5 · answered by dj_ishoney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you might have made a mistake, treefrog. You KNOW something is wrong and the sooner you do something about it the better.
You should really get to know a person before you let them move in. Internet relationships dont really count as 'knowing' somebody.
2007-02-19 05:38:42 · answer #6 · answered by penny century 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer but need reasurance so I'm gonna do something I rarely do and go all girl power on you.
Woman, kick his *** out already! You got hella better things to be doing with your time and life than waisting it on someone who ain't "the one"! And before you meet "the one" for you? There still plenty of better fish out in the sea to entertain yourself with than this one.
Tell him buh-bye!
2007-02-19 05:39:51 · answer #7 · answered by heather 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let a guy you met on the net move in with you? Whatever happened to common sense?
2007-02-19 05:38:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. With all that you mentioned about your relationship, it doesn't sound all that great to me. Sure a man can love you and not make love, they are called friends.
Make arrangements to get this guy out of your house.
2007-02-19 05:38:05 · answer #9 · answered by daughter_helping 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out if he has set aside any money for his old age.
any difficulty you may feel now will be much worse when he can no longer derive an income.
as far as the sexual intimacy goes....you could try to find out which physical stimulation interests him....your hand, your mouth, etc.
and you should encourage him to exercise.
a healthy mind in a healthy body.
2007-02-19 05:54:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋