I used to be a stay at home mom from the birth of my second child, and stayed that way for almost five years now. Well, i can't really rely on my husband's income only, so i decided to take out an offer to work. The working hours are from 8 to 5, monday to friday, saturday 9 to 3. I really feel guilty about leaving my kids, specially since their dad has to work too. I leave them with my Mom. Should I feel this way?
2007-02-18 20:15:24 · 20 answers · asked by Zenithia Victora 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was in the same situation with my children. I stayed at home with them until they were all in school. I felt horrible going back to work, but soon overcame that feeling when I realized that it was best for the family as a whole. I found that going to work made me appreciate my children even more (if that was even possible). I was a better mother because of the time that I spent separated from them, I had more patience and appreciated the time we spent together. I understand you feeling guilty, it's a natural thing, but don't because you are doing what is best for your children. The nice thing about your situation is that they will be with someone that you know loves them and will take good care of them, thank God for grandmas. It will all be ok, take it from someone who knows. Good luck!!!!!
2007-02-19 02:06:46 · answer #1 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs to make a living. However, the only problem I have in this case is the working on Saturdays.
Do you really need to work that extra day. It seems that there is something else going on here if that is the case.
Monday to Friday is fine as the children are at school anyways but Saturday should be spend with your family as these times will not last forever.
This I know because I feel that I worked too much during my children's youth and missed out on a lot. You would be sorry that you have too.
So to answer your question: No, you should not feel guilty only if you are working because you absolutely have too. Not because you are tired of taking care of them.
2007-02-18 20:34:06 · answer #2 · answered by Randy P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a big jump from being home with them to working over 40 hours. My husband and I work different shifts. He works the day, I work the night. It works out great, and someone is always home with them. But it will be a big adjustment for your kids too! The best thing is that you have a family member watching them, which is great if possible. I think you'll feel guilty at the beginning, but it will stop after a while. You need to do what you think is best for you and your family. Noone can fault you for trying to bring in more money to your household.
2007-02-19 00:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is the "fun" part of being a woman. If you stay home you feel guilty because you are not contributing to the family income. If you go to work, you feel guilty because you are leaving the children. Does your husband feel the same way? I doubt it!
Welcome to the wonderful world of the double standard!
2007-02-18 20:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not in today's economic climate. Besides that, your children are learning independence. Provided that their grandmother is a good supervisor, your children could be gaining some benefits from this arrangement. And it will make family time all the more enjoyable. Besides that, your children are lucky to spend time with their grandmother. I never really knew any of my grandparents, and as a result, feel a little awkward around my boyfriend's grandparents.
Just don't let your job exhaust you to the point that you can't devote after work time to the kids. They'll miss you.
2007-02-18 20:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by lala 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will probably feel this way because you feel that you are not giving your kids the proper attention that they deserve from you. You are a fraid that you will turn into one of those workaholic moms that never spends any time with her kids. If you are a really worried, try to find a part time job that works from about the time they go to school, till about an hour before they get home from school.
2007-02-19 03:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly normal to feel guilty at first, but in the long run, it is good for you and for your children. Thank goodness you can leave them with family. Many parents are faced with sending their kids to day care centres. It helps you to have a social life and gives you a sense of idenity to work, not to mention the added income is always nice. It also gives your children a sense of independence because they are away from you and learn new boundaries in the setting they are in while they are in your Mom's care. Trust me, you will all be better for it.
2007-02-18 20:27:22 · answer #7 · answered by penelopejanepitstop 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is normal fo you to feel this way..since you stay at home for a long time with them..and now you are apart.
Even though that is alot of time away...you need to make sure they do not feel neglected by either you or your husband.
You should make atleast 1 day..when both you and your husband dont work...where its just family day..and go do something fun...watch a movie at home..if the only time you have is the afternoon..or if its daytime..go to a park ..or play with them...if its at nighttime..and they are still awake..read them a bed time story..
It is fine that you and your husband are working..after all the money is needed..But you need to make sure your children understand..and they know that even though you 2 work...both of you still have time for them.
2007-02-18 23:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, when I read your question my first thought was 'no, don't feel guity', but when I saw the hours it made me think 'wow, that's a long time each day away from your kids'. If they're at school all day I guess it doesn't matter if you're at work, but I'd try to have weekends free to spend time with your family. Try to find a job / employer who is understanding and will let you work a little less. Good luck!
2007-02-18 20:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't, although it is a very natural response for most women. The truth is, women who work inside the home have feelings of guilt as well, just for different reasons.
The fact that you are able to leave the kids with your mom makes it a no-brainer! You are actually giving them the benefit of grandparent-grandchild bonding. Who better to help you raise your children than your own family?
Guilt-free...just spreading the love!
2007-02-18 20:33:51 · answer #10 · answered by sweet doll 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋