My ex and I hooked up, just for one night, and it was so passionate. When I said I still love him he just replied, I know. He then says I mustn't expeact too much from him? But he can phone me out of the blue for a drink and I must just go? Its silly coz I miss him so much so I go. He acts like he still cares, but he cant verbalize it. Why does he do that? We've been split up for 5 months now after a 3 year relationship. He loved me once. Or at least he said he did. Now I dont know what to do. Do I hang around hopeing he sorts himself out? Do I give him the space he wants? But at the same time I suffer because I miss him so much? Iv tried letting go and I just cant. For once I want to think with my heart and not with my head.
2007-02-18 19:40:28 · 15 answers · asked by chickyboo222 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nope. Give him space. Lots of it. So much that he can't bear it. In other words, don't get involved with him again. There's no reason he can't verbalize his feelings. You're just rationalizing his behavior. If he felt it, he'd say it. Instead, he made a flippant remark to something heartfelt that you said. If you can put yourself out there, so can he. You guys were together for 3 years, he's not scared of you or anything.
If you continue to wait around for him, I guarantee that you'll be disappointed with the end result. Sleeping with an ex is easy and basically a no brainer for a guy. No real work is involved especially if the girl still has feelings for the guy. He's using that against you and treating you any way he wants because he knows you still love him & miss him. Lose his number. Don't answer his calls. If he loves you that much, he'll make a grand gesture. Stop making excuses for him and see him for what he really is, a cad who is using you for a quick hookup. If he wants you, he knows where you're at. Next time he comes around, he better be ready to commit or there's no reason for him to come around. Don't let him treat you an old way. Have more respect for yourself. You deserve so much more than what he's giving you.
2007-02-18 19:47:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I cant follow what the others are saying. I was with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 yrs and we split upfor a year. Throughout the 12 months we were sleeping together and still acting like a couple when we were aroung each other. He even said that he still loved me but didn't want to get back together. I was so sure that I'd get him back that I made abet with a friend. However, it was only when I started going out with someone else and left him alone did he come back. I didn't use the other guy because he was lovely and I didn't predict that this was going to happen.
Leave him alone to get on with his own life for a while, but when you do see him, say hi and walk away. It may take a while and it does really hurt but keep your fingers crossed!! We got back together 18months and we are getting married in a years time and trying for a baby. Good luck and don't give up hope yet!
2007-02-19 04:22:27 · answer #2 · answered by smudge 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sex can be really great with an ex!
I suggest you try to stay busy, make new friends, date others, even if it is a "duty date" (dating someone you really aren't that into, but it keeps you in circulation and busy).
I don't think this man is going to come back to you. It sounds like he contacts you when he is not busy, and has nothing going on.
You are familiar and the sex is comfortable, like a favorite shoe.
You need to act as though the relationship is over, (because it is)
and don't be so available when he calls you for a drink. (I bet when he does, and you go, you end up in bed together, right?)
It is time you move on with your life. Don't sleep with him, you aren't respecting yourself when you do, and believe me, he doesn't respect you either. You just end up looking pathetic.
The next time he calls, tell him you're sorry, you'd really like to see him but you have a prior engagement, (a date) and don't feel obligated to tell him anything if he starts asking questions.
You could always say: Why would you want to know? We aren't together anymore, and I don't ask you who you're seeing!
Good luck, be strong, move on.
2007-02-19 03:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by romeoshannon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your heart will lead you astray because there is no logic involved there. If it ended, it ended for a reason. My last girl friend just broke up with me to go back to an ex-boyfriend who she says she knows is not good for her, because she listened to her heart, not to her head. She told me she knows I truly love her, and that she knows the other guy is just obsessed with her. But like I say, she reacted to her heart and not to logic and good sense. If he can't say he loves you, then it's a good bet he doesn't. Move on with your life and get him out of your heart and head. It will be difficult but worth it in the end. I know my ex-girlfriend will realize someday that she should have listened to reason and to her head instead of her heart.
2007-02-19 04:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by vegasg8r89129 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are living a self enslaved life,like many who doesn't know they deserve the best it's obvious you love him and he is only taking advantage of that He was quite honest to tell you "I Know" Instead Of reciprocating Your Pledge of still loving him. The earlier you wake up and realise he doesn't deserve you nor the sincerity of your love the better you save your self from even worst suffering. You deserve a better Man
2007-02-19 04:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by Reality 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Time heals all wounds. You said you loved him and he replied that he knows. That's very cocky. He's basically using you for a good time because he knows that he can. He's stringing you along. Next time he calls and asks you out, just tell him you have plans. Take some time away from him completely and sort your thoughts and feelings out.
2007-02-19 03:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by So_many_questions 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry but if he can't verbalize that he loves you thats not a good sign. don't stick around and wait for him to realize that he loves you. move on and try to casually go out with other people and if he discovers that he made a mistake and wants to get with you again, then let him find you and you can decide from there.
bless your heart
2007-02-19 03:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by The Voice of Reason 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not trying to be rude to you or anything to me but it sounds like he don't want you anymore or he is confused. Hopefully he is just confused. Maybe you should show him that you will not wait around for him. If that is the case then a guy will usually get jealous and try to win you back into his life.
2007-02-19 03:44:38 · answer #8 · answered by linsey_runnels 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Than think with your heart and not your head b/c hearts take awhile to mend dont let him hurt you walk away b/c the longer you stay the harder its going to be on you.lol
2007-02-19 03:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if youve been standing near him for 3 years and he's been all mushy gushy wit you, then all of a sudden he starts acting stank FOR 5 MONTHS!! Babygirl, cut his but loose. You've got a better chance with guys that are willing to say i love u and mean it.
2007-02-19 03:45:54 · answer #10 · answered by diva90221 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋