I've met a guy 1 month ago and we started dating almost right away.After 3 weeks of dates, a lot of kissing, massage...we had sex.The sex was okay and that's why I was surprised when the day after he started ignoring me.I should mention that we work together;I'm his supervisor, so we see a lot of each other and I am older than him(I'm late 20s and he's early 20s) Now, he avoids me.He talks to me only when he has to.When I asked him why he reacted this way,he said he didn't know.He said he was worried of what other people could start saying about us.He also said he didn't want a relationship which is fine by me,I don't want 1 either.I tried to talk to him twice, but 2 times were very frustrating as he didn't say anything.I asked him why he has been treating me this way,and he couldn't say anything.I am really hurt by his attitude.I feel like he doesn't care about me and it hurts.Btw, I don't have friends here, I'm new to this city, so I have no one to talk to.What can I do?
2007-02-18 19:26:13 · 19 answers · asked by clueless_girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is nothing you can do about this but to learn from this experience. First of all, it is a mistake for you to have sex with someone you work with, particularly since you are his supervisor.
Also, he is in his early 20's. He only wanted to get laid, and now he did and he has satisfied his curiousity. He is being honest when he says he does not want a relationship, particularly since he works with you daily and you are his boss. Men have a tendency to think with their c----s. But now that he has had his itch scratched, he is able to think with his head and he knows that a relationship with you would not work, particularly since he has no desire to settle down with anyone at this point. I would think you would know this.
Now it is up to you to tell him you are fine with things, and that it is wise that the two of you cool it. Then act as though it is all OK.
I know it is hard to be in a new city and know no one. Join a club, take a class, bowl, find something to do to meet new friends. And find sex partners outside the workplace.
2007-02-18 19:37:18 · answer #1 · answered by romeoshannon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say he either:
#1: is afraid of office gossip, which is why such extra-curricular activities are really never a good thing; or
#2: he used you; or
#3: he thinks there is no future for the both of you because you don't have that much in common (in his opinion); or
#4: he is not ready for a relationship or doesn't want one.
As far as he goes, stop stressing - there's nothing there -time to move on and learn.Sorry about not knowing anyone in the new city. But you have FAMILY here on Yahoo! Just keep posting and your new friends will be glad to help you, ok? But for actual interaction or meeting guys, maybe go to church, join some clubs, go to the gym, take a college course in something you really like, etc. Best of Luck.
2007-02-19 12:01:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex could be what he wanted and now that he's gotten what he wants, he calls it quit. Its a vey platonic relationship. Move on with your life and be professional at work. Do not let personal emotion rules your head. The next time you see him, act like a supervisor and nothing more. Ignore him if he wants the relationship back because you don't want to be hurt the second time.
2007-02-18 19:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by SGElite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think the dating was a plan to just have sex with u, because if he is wondering what people would say y didnt he think that before the whole 3weeks of nothaving sex with u. then soon after he got it, he gone. tell him u need to have a meeting with him. tell him how he hurt u and that it is unprofessinal to act this way with you. tell him if its a problem man up and say whats on his mind. he might be scared to really say because u might fire him. tell him he need to quit acting like his shoe size and grow up. animosity inthe workplace is not good at all. in the worst case it could have had something to do with the sex or another girl came along. just move on though, make him jealous.... have some guy bring u flowers, lunch to work and pick u up and stuff.
2007-02-18 19:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by cute_dimples2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just one of thoughs guys who wants to have sex and thats it. Your better then that. Don't waste anymore time on him. You what just pretend like nothing happened and sure enough he will come around. Sometimes men also like to be chased and some don't. I know it's hard to not have any friends and you are new to this place but hold on and give it another chance and you will be fine.
2007-02-18 19:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by kglass1999 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sex has a lot to do with this weirdness going on. I think he regreted it or something. He may be paranoid if someone finds out about it. You should move on and get to know people around you. I'm sure there are a lot of nice people you'll meet.
2007-02-18 19:37:53 · answer #6 · answered by melanie s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He used you sweetie. sorry to put it so bluntly but that's what happened, and he obviously doesn't care for you at all.
If he doesn't even have the sack to admit that to you, let alone speak to you at all then you're better off not stressing about a silly little BOY who doesn' t know **** about being a man or treating women right.
2007-02-18 19:32:12 · answer #7 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately he sounds like a lost cause. Try to get past it and start trying to make friends. It is terrible to be in a new place and not have anyone to talk to. With this guy-remember you are his supervisor and try to see him as just your employee. This may help.
2007-02-18 19:32:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a jerk and was only using you for sex. His silent treatent says that he is probably embarrassed about what he did, and considering how horribly he treated you, he darned well should be. Try to find some new friends.....this guy never really cared about you at all. Shame on him!
2007-02-18 19:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize that you've been tagged! That's all! Just another notch on his Bedpost! Next time? Listen to your Heart. it was trying to tell you to stay away from this Clown. But you didn't listen. Your need to fit in? Got you screwed! Next time, check out what your Heart is telling you. It won't lie? and it wants you happy. Respect your Beauty! Respect yourself. Respect your Heart. Love & Kisses.
2007-02-18 19:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋