I am dating a very wonderful guy (#1) right now and we might get engaged soon. But lately we have been arguing a lot. At the same time I have been thinking of this other guy (#2). This guy (#2) I met a few years ago and we never dated, but I always wanted to. He ended up becoming engaged to this other girl. Recently they broke it off because she cheated on him. This girl wouldn't let me and him be friends because she knew that I still had feelings for him and for some reason was paranoid that I would take him away from her, even though I was completely happy with someone else. Anyways, I think I have feelings for him because I never got to experience a relationship with him. And he has feelings for me too. But at the same time things seem to work better as friends and I don't want to ruin our friendship that we have. I love guy #1 more than words can express but our relationship seems to be getting old and we are annoyed with each other and argue all the time. Any advice anyone?
2007-02-18 19:09:25 · 16 answers · asked by Kace06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 19. Have been dating the guy for almost a year and a half. Since Christmas things have been going downhill for us. Also around Christmas time is when my friend's fiance told me that I wasn't allowed to talk to him. This past weekend is when guy #2 broke things off with his fiance. Afterwards he called me and we talked for hours. Then today he asked me if there was any chance of me and him being together. I told him no, but I can't stop thinking about him. I know I have feelings for him, as I alwaya have, but I try to repress them. I am not trying to lead either one of them on. Currently I am on a "break" with the guy that I am with. It will be a few more months before and if we do get engaged and then at least 2 years before and if we do get married. I don't want to lose the one I love because I have a feeling that if we end the relationship that it will be for good. I think he would take me dating guy #2 as cheating on him.
2007-02-18 19:38:28 · update #1
Maybe you should tell guy 1 that you need a break to clear your head and analyze what it is you want to do. Go out on a date with guy 2. See if there's chemistry there. If not, it's easy, you can have your relationship with guy 1 (if you both choose to do so) without ever wondering what if about guy 2. If you and guy 2 hit it off, then that would pose a problem, because then you would really have to choose.
Word of advice: Never choose the one you like over the one you love.
If he had the chance to date you years ago and didn't AND he let his last girlfriend keep you and him apart, then maybe he doesn't feel the same. I say stick with the one you love and try to make it work and put guy 2 out of your mind.
2007-02-18 19:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by So_many_questions 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you left guy #1 for guy #2 in a couple of years time you'll be in the same boat again, with a love that is old, annoyed with each, etc, etc. Try to sort out your differences with your current bf. Every relationships has its ups and downs and if you really do love him as much as you say it's worth sticking around! Have you tried spicing things up, maybe going away for a weekend, or just trying to remember why you fell for each other. If you can get through this rocky patch now, I can assure you what waits on the other side is much, much better.
2007-02-18 19:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by Sweety 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have feelings for another guy, then something don't seem to me that is right in your relationship. It is one of those things where you have to ask yourself, If you married the man that you are with now do you 100% believe that you will be happy with him for the rest of you lives and that you will never have feelings as strong for another man? Do you think that you are just friends or is it something you actually want more from him. From what you asked, you seem like you want more from the other man. It also kinda seems that you might (not saying that you are) be trying to find an excuse to get rid of the man that you are with. Like I said, I am not saying that you are doing this. I have just seen a lot of my friends do that. But seriously ask yourself what you really want. Because you are the only one that can make the final decision.
2007-02-18 19:17:40 · answer #3 · answered by linsey_runnels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you still have feeling for guy 2 and creating problems to go experience no. 2 guy. I don't really know since I don't know you. But from personal experience I don't think you are ready to be engaged. I was engaged at 20 but didn't marry until 23 and even then it was too soon especially I still loved my first love but he wasn't who I was engaged to. If I would have slowed down and listened to people experiences I might have saved years of heartache from my first husband. My very best friend is the one I didn't marry. He now knows my new husband and approves of him and my husband now doesn't even mind us being friends knowing our history. When my husband and I first got together I let him know straight out he would never tell me who could friends with. First husband wanted to be ruler of who I could be friends with, and I let him. Never again.
2007-02-18 19:30:03 · answer #4 · answered by already_enuff_spice_in_this 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are confused. Think about it. Okay....Let me think...
Okay, since you and guy #1 are recently fighting, its normal. Actually, when you think about it if you never fought at him at all then there is something wrong with your relationship. Now, I want you to try imagining and thinking about this: Let's say you married guy #1(don't think negative things here) then you have children. And let's say that your child wants to have a vacation somewhere. You also liked that place. But when you ask guy #1 about it, he disagrees. Then you two get into a fight then decided that we'll go. See? Now, imagine about that if you get married to guy #2. If I were to decide, I would say that it depends on you. Its not right to ask other people who you should get married to. You are the one who will get married and have your own children. Not us.
2007-02-18 19:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kaka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, you can't eat your cake and have it! you have to commit to one guy if you say you love him. Its not like trying out shoes in the mall before deciding which yo buy. If you say you love guy #1, then do everything in your power to stay true to him. All the story about your relationship being old is just bevause you have your sights set on some other guy.
If you know that you are not able to get over guy #2, then be honest with yourself and guy #1. Make a clean break and then try out with guy #2. Dont just string both of them along to see which one you prefer..that's just wrong!!!
2007-02-18 19:26:34 · answer #6 · answered by sweetDove 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try guy #2. it sounds like if you get engage and marry #1 you will regret it in some way and wish that you would have at least gave #2 a try.If you are annoyed with #1 you will definately be when married you would have committed yourself to them for the rest of your life.
2007-02-18 19:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by miss queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if things are gettting old you need to change things around and make it new again...Do you think that that loving feeling stays forever? It doesn't, it disappears and then the real task of making it work comes into play. Find the one you are compatible with and work on the relationship. I can't tell you who to choose but if you are thinking of other guys when you have someone in your life already, you need to reevaluate your relationship and if anything don't be a jerk and continue to lead #1 on
2007-02-18 19:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by Slim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get the impression that because you have never dated him, you have idealized guy #2 and at the moment you are simply daydreaming about might've beens in order to escape from the bad patch your 'real' relationship is going through. I suggest you recommit yourself to guy #1 and put all your effort into making your relationship work. Chasing rainbows is not the answer.
2007-02-18 19:16:32 · answer #9 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not ready to get married. If you were you wouldn't even be considering this. You say your current relationship is getting old? How about 20 years from now?
2007-02-18 19:14:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋