Basically, i'm outgoing enough with the friends i have and people i warm up too. i know i'm funny and people like me, but i'm too opposite of that with new people. especially the fems, and that really what i'm more concerened about. i can talk to guys, but you know, who can't? and i know i'm not the only one like that in my family, but if anyone can give me tips other than just sucking it up and being a man, because i got that part already. so far, for me that's like telling a smoker to quit cold turkey. it can get rough for me.
any advice you can give on here, or you can IM me:
donttrustsheep (that's yahoo). I would like to talk about it with anyone who thinks they can help or advice, but leaving answers on here is cool the same. thanks.
2007-02-18 18:56:55 · 11 answers · asked by donttrustsheep 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be yourself. Different women like different types of guys. I would like a guy who is sweet and somewhat shy more than a shy guy trying to be something he's not. You could try smiling and speaking to a lady, then maybe making a little small talk. The most important thing is to be yourself and don't be too cocky. I know I personally hate when someone is trying to hard and/or being cocky.
2007-02-18 19:02:20 · answer #1 · answered by So_many_questions 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you mean. I used to be the same, but now I am the most outgoing person around. I studies a lot about social sciences, and came to realize that everyone is different. Some people are very outgoing, while others are the exact opposite.
You may be a good listener, but have trouble exerting yourself. You are the typical good friend that always helps others, but for the most part, everyone ignores your problems. Does this sound like you? If yes, than you are a typical good, but shy person. There are a few things that you could do. Try studying other people. How do they interact when greeting each other, etc... This may actually help build your self-confidence some. Another thing is to study a book on personality types. There are many books out there. I'd suggest you look at a couple and find one that interests you. That is the only way that you will find a good one. If the book doesn't interest you, it'll NEVER help you.
I will think about your situation, and if I can come up with anything useful, I'll contact you. I have helped people with this before, but I knew those people. Helping someone when you don't know their personality is more difficult.
2007-02-19 03:17:41 · answer #2 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be extremely shy around males I was interested in until I met my friend Kim. Most people would rate her a nine or a ten so she had this confidence that to me was unbelievable.
The more time I spent around her, the more confident I became. She taught me that no matter who you are, someone will be interested in you. Even Star Trek fans fall in love. And if the person you like is not interested in you, no biggie.
Life is too short to worry about rejection. It will happen, but so what? At least you tried. And if you ask someone out and they say no, it is not like someone comes and shoots you. It sucks, but you get over it.
I am so thankful I became such good friends with that girl. Just being around someone so naturally amazing who loved me the way I was and always told me to never change, helped me get over my insecurities.
2007-02-19 03:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by pizziehl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turning a shy person into someone completely different. Well, there's alcohol... other than that it is simply a matter of pretending that you are someone else until the behavior patterns become more natural for you. In other words following the adivise of "fake it until you make it". But, it will always be a bit unnatural for you. There have been books written on how shyness or lack thereof can be observed in babies, and follows on through to adulthood. Hope it helps.
2007-02-19 03:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by allen e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand exactly where you are coming from. You are not automatically going to feel completely comfortable around new people it is going to take time! Your comfortable around your friends you have now because you have given it time!! Some people can feel comfortable around anybody and some people can't! There are different types of people in this world there is nothing wrong with you!! Whenever you want to talk to a girl or like her or whatever just get to know her and once you feel comfortable around her then talk to her more and see where things go! Good luck!
2007-02-19 03:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by jasmyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you know you are outgoing and funny. Use that to your advantage. The best way to start talking to the fems is to ask them about themselves. Everyone loves to talk about themselves and if you ask the right questions you might find you have things in common and you can take it from there. Good luck
2007-02-19 03:00:29 · answer #6 · answered by Mangomum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've got an idea for you, this is basically what I did to get over that.
Buy a new outfit, shave your face, trim your body hair, and go to another city for the weekend! Seriously!
Now you have nothing to worry about, nobody will recognise you or remember you while you do this.
Now your only task is to go up to women as you can, and start talking to them by looking at them and complimenting something about them that looks nice. Thats how you just started a conversation, if she smiles and keeps looking then keep talking, ask her out, for lunch or dinner or something.. dont waste any time. Then get her number if you want it, or ask her back to your hotel room. If you fail, just walk up to another one or if you dont want to move around much, hop on a local transit bus, t hen they will come to you! But im telling you the easiest method is just walk up and say Hello! my you look stunning may I ask what your name is?
etc etc
2007-02-19 03:03:53 · answer #7 · answered by Dave 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you first have to ask yourself why are you being shy in front of femmes and new people. if you know the answer, start how to confront it. if new people make you nervous, take a deep breathe. you mention you are a funny person. you can start cracking simple but funny jokes. it does ligthen up the mood. good luck...
2007-02-19 03:04:47 · answer #8 · answered by xyne_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hiii.. i am exactly like that.. the people who know me well are the ones who can say that im rowdy and wierd.. but those i just meet or see me around say im shy.. and i can be extremely shy around the opposite sex but i HAVE changed because for one.. i have a boyfriend who's tried all he can to get me more outgoing..
uhmm.. if u want u can add me on hotmail.. i dont use my yahoo account for IM ...
2007-02-19 03:02:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what you are talking about because that is the way i am, try to have more people that you know in a group rather the other way around, because they already know you they warm up to your jokes and behavior easier and that should help the people you dont know around warm up to you too
2007-02-19 03:13:32 · answer #10 · answered by draco6453 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋