My 9 year old daughter has always been a sensitive child right from birth. She is also very adamant. Now she is 9 and still continues to be overtly sensitive to the point that we, her parents, get really nervous to take her out coz she could spoilt our entire day moaning and groaning if we ever said or did something that hurt her (even jokingly). She does not have friends due to this nature and cribs/cries a lot. When at home, she cries to the point of becoming hysterical and breaks everything at sight...nothing we do will stop her !! We used to slap her if she did cried, but from the last 6 months stopped that and ignore her if she throws tantrums. But now it has got worse and she hurts herself by beating herself or poking herself with pencil ..... till she gets our attention and then expects us to apologise to her.
Why does she behave this way? Is this normal? We are worried because her 2 1/2 year sister is showing similar traits of late.
2007-02-18 18:55:16 · 9 answers · asked by Jaggi 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Your child's behavior is very much normal. Instead of blaming yourself or the child or going through expensive therapy, I suggest the following :
1. Involve your child in a lot of group activity - swimming / sports/ dance/arts and Craft.....anything that will made her adjust to 'people'. Once she learns that different people are made differently, different people communicate differently, then she'll realise that she was over-reacting and being overtly sensitive. This will take time, but it is worth the efort.
2. From your end, you need to stay away from her and let her take independent decision instead of breathing down her neck and dictating terms.....this will help her have more self-confidence.
3. Generally children who have temper tantrums are full of energy....so you need to channelise her energy into positive activities (refer point 1). Also Yoga exercises will help to calm her down and remove anxiety / fear if any.
Your 2 1/2 child's behavior is also normal. She will ofcourse try to follow her sister's footsteps. Once you let your 9-year old take charge of her sister and teach her good manners (like her), teach her alphabets / rhymes etc.. and make her smart (again like her) you end up making both better kids.
You need to make yourself very strong and talk positively and NEVER lose your temper no matter what. This is the only way out.
2007-02-18 22:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by TAGG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly this child wants attention from you, and has learned that the way to get it is by acting that way. A child would prefer negative attention over no attention at all, and that is what is happening in your home. For the sake of your girls, I highly suggest that you get some family counseling. This problem goes much deeper than any message board could begin to cure.
Here's an excellent starting point:
"Now she is 9 and still continues to be overtly sensitive to the point that we, her parents, get really nervous to take her out coz she could spoilt our entire day moaning and groaning if we ever said or did something that hurt her (even jokingly)"
Why would you jokingly hurt your child?
especially knowing that she is sensitive.
2007-02-18 19:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by lala 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her 2 1/2 year old sister is showing tratis of the terrible twos...obviously you missed it when the older daughter was there because you obviously gave in to her when she was smaller, YOU spoiled her..."We used to slap her if she did cried" That's wonderful Teach her that whenever anyone cries it's okay to hit them. No wonder she doesn't have any friends. She probably hit them when they cried thanks to you. What is NOT normal is the parenting here. Because NOW she's heading into puberty...hopefully you won't mess up as badly with number two. I suggest you ALL get some family counseling, and mom and dad learn some parenting skills.
2007-02-18 19:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is not normal behavior for a 9 year old. She needs help or she will continue to get worse. There could be some medical reason that she does this. Please take her to a doctor. She will either hurt herself badly or maybe her little sister.
2007-02-18 19:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is either suffering from a mental illness or you and hubby need NANNY 911. Have you considered therapy? Her Pediatrician should be able to recommend a qualified child therapist. If its you and you hubby, don't be embarrassed, kids have a way of controlling us
2007-02-18 21:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by ladydaisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, this is not normal for a 9 year old. You should definately speak to a professional about this...
2007-02-18 20:39:15 · answer #6 · answered by sweet doll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's hurting herself you definitely need to consult a doctor or a family counselor about your problems.
2007-02-18 19:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should NEVER smack in any situation for any reason.
Other than this, I would assume that has some sort of mental illness that need urgent attension from a mental health expert.
2007-02-18 19:05:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
give her somthing to suck on if you know what i mean ;-)
2007-02-18 19:02:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋