We had a good relationship off 1 year, she broke-up now saying that she does not have the time, also said that I was too bossy over her when it came to her talking to other guys and stuff. I got verbally abusive @ times, even she was on a few occassions. She told me that her priorities in life have changed. I pleaded to her that I have changed an I am no longer the same Ba******. I told her that i will be more understanding and I am ok with the the time she gives me. Even told her is all I need is bout 15 mins over the phone and an hour or two off meeting over the weekend. The last coversation we had over the phone she said that she LOVES me but cannot be in a relation because off time and a lil because off my nature. I LOVE her alot and I have really changed. I cannot stay without her. Plz help me on how to get her back. I have lost my health lost weight. I am 21 and she is 19. I am feeiling very guilty.
2007-02-18 17:32:02 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you just got dissed - relax
it happens to the best of us - AND you are one of the best!
A jewel will head your way ! Keep your eyes open for the sparkle!
2007-02-18 17:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by tom4bucs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what, i read certain omments above and i can tell females wrote them. they saying u should be ashame of urself and crap, u disrespescted her, etc. y females always agree with other females and they haven't heard her story. look i am a female but if u are in a relationship, why is she talking to all these guys anyway. most females can be with a nice guy and do whatever they want just to see how much they can get away with. i wouldn't with my girl talking to all these guys if i were a guy. u leave the door open for other things to happen, look at it she would be down ur throat to know u were talking to females. every relationships have arguments whether verbally abusive or not. u too were probably departing for the best because it just wasnt there for here anymore. if she say she aint got time, u bossy, she was talking to other guys, the thing is she found someone else in that bunch that caught her attention. just call her say u sorry for how things ended and how u treated her, tell her u don't want her out of ur life, but if thats the choice she really wants to make then u are respecting it. 21 & 19 too young to be committed and too serious.
2007-02-19 02:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by cute_dimples2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, this is not right! You can't let something like this take over your life. It's over, you know, even if you have changed, you ruined something good you had. Now she says she still loves you, but can't be with you probably because she just doesn't trust herself with you. You say you have changed but whos to say you wont be that guy again. The bossy, verbally abusive...if I were her, I wouldn't go back to you either...and that's the simple truth. First of all, you have to eat, regain your health, it is not right to let something like this take over you. Now that you have "changed" (hey, I don't know...), you have to do things for yourself and move on...this relationship wasn't the most healthy, but you can start over again and find another person who will know the person you are now, not the person you were. This girl who broke up with you already knows who you were and its hard for her to see a new person in you. Which is why I think you should just let it go and move on. It's for the best. I wish you luck and be smart about things. you know, this kinda reminds me like the movie "The Break-up". similar situation, anyways....good luck. :) PEACE.
2007-02-19 01:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right! time to go into damage control. you say you love her, so I'll just have to take your word for it. She said she broke up with you because of your controlling ways so, step one, go see a counsellor, to talk about all your problems, your jealous ways etc etc, show her that you HAVE changed, and that you're willing to keep changing for her. Step 2 - give her about a month I'd say before you make contact with her, this shows her that you're not totally desperate for her (even though you are) and that you can live without her. she probably likes the power she has over you at the moment, you asking her to take you back etc, huge ego boost. Then, after your month and your counsellor, present your case to her again! If she still says no, well, good riddance to bad rubbish i say. you will fall in love again, if it's meant to be, it will, simple as that. Good luck, email me if you want more advice. nat
2007-02-19 01:39:44 · answer #4 · answered by Ari J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in this situation she wants out thats apparent.you may love her, however,verbal abuse means RED FLAGs!!!!!! THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME MY Q&A FRIEND. i left and it took 2years for me to go home. i will return march 1st. on the other hand he had to go to several classes. 1.) anger management. honestly it would not hurt you it would benefit you in future relationships. also, if its meant to be she will come back. dont get your hopes up to be put down. im wondering if you were raised in that envirement? talking to other males is okay. you have to be mature and should have trusted her until you had no reason not to. HOWEVER, this may be a blessing in disguise for you to better yourself. dont beg her as her mind has been made up. your 21 you have your future ahead of you. how can you say you changed if you did not get any help?? help is not so bad. this woman knows this. she has apparently talked with family, friends ect. im sure your a good person. she put up with this a year. i was not so wise as i am now. i tolerated it for 28years not good!!!! verbal abuse leads to physical abuse. im a nurse & counselor yet still i stayed until i could no longer tolerate this behavior. if i had left when it began he would have gotten help earlier. so, i blame myself as well. dont be desparate make an appointment and make some real changes.DID YOU KNOW? every 20 seconds a woman gets murdered by a b/f, husband for domestic violence? im not trying to be hard on you im trying to help you for future relationships. as we do not change over night. DID YOU HAVE SOMEONE CHEAT ON YOU IN YOUR PAST? if so everyone is not like that as you will learn if you take advantage of your resources. maybe once you do this she MAY COME BACK ? give her/yourself time. dont tell her your getting help just make the changes and people will see and take note. im very sorry to hear this. however, i applaud your honesty. so there is hope you can make a difference (which )all depeds on you and what you do. you may decide someday to counsel others on your own experiences and yes you can and will live without her!! it may seem that way for awhile. when i left my husband and he was abusive i missed the goodtimes and was lonely as well. you have to get use to this and find contentment within yourself. then ,you can move on. i feel for you as well as her. she does not want to hurt your feelings as she seems that caring. dont make her hate you if you want her back. give her, her time. if she dates not a thing you or i can do. i would advise you to take care of your envies problem and stay busy. i wish you the best!! no you were not dissed as someone mentioned. she needs to look out for herself as we live in a violent world. maybe, just maybe one day she may???
2007-02-19 02:23:49 · answer #5 · answered by fancy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Lady, a Break. Give yourself a good Butt Whoopin'. For not respecting The Lady. Give her some room. If you haven't over done the disrespect? She'll be back, when she has time. If not? Learn that you have to give and take. Not have it one way. Jeepers!
2007-02-19 02:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by rahul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to feel Guilty. `Cause you are, Dippo! Give The Lady, a Break. Give yourself a good Butt Whoopin'. For not respecting The Lady. Give her some room. If you haven't over done the disrespect? She'll be back, when she has time. If not? Learn that you have to give and take. Not have it one way. Jeepers!
2007-02-19 01:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by Goggles 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hmmm... sounds familiar... cos i too was there... anyways...does she really love you?? you are very sure?? then let her free for some time.. i know its tough for you.. but be strong.. she will come back if she really loves you... n being bossy is little problematic, just know if u r bossy or possessive.. n be careful in future.. then.. later.. on smoe weekend, u call her.. say hi.. n only ask her about her being.. if she is fine.. her college n stuff.. small topics.. dont speak much.. then tell ok.. do take care.. will call later.. tell her abt urself only if she asks.. be calm.. be sure to tell 'love you' before cutting the call..
believe me.. it will work.. al the very best...
2007-02-19 01:49:24 · answer #8 · answered by Ally 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that she is kind of searching for herself kind of..... she is 19... prime fun age u know??? i dont think she really knows herself well enough to know what she wants......
i think she is kind of confused.... i think all she wants is to be loved and to love.... she doesnt want really to argue.... and when you guys do argue..... excuse me if i am wrong.... but she thinks about how much she really needs crap.... u know???
like i think that you guys really need to sort out your prioraties and then talk about getting togather again... like talk about what you liked/disliked... it will show a lot of maturity between the both of you.... like..... it will show that you both still care and want to make it work.....
dont feel guilty... i know how bad you want to blame yourself..... becuase you want to just make the situation better, and make her feel like she is perfect and did nothing wrong..... trust me i do the same thing with my bf(blame my self).... and its not good..... like... dont feel guilty..... there is more than just one person in a relationship... there is two... two share in the love two share in the fights two share in the consequences... two share in everything..... so dont feel guilty...
it will work out.......... it might not..... just work and try... show her that you have changed.... show her that you love her..... show her that all you need is her.... just dont over do it.........
what your asking for is very reasonable.. i dont see how she has a problem with you demanding her time/.... thats a little confusing.... but hey..... if you love her and if she has your heart........ try to fix things.....
only if you really love her.......
"if you trip in love you can get back up..... but fall in love and you will fall forever"
2007-02-19 01:46:23 · answer #9 · answered by jordanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, finally a smart girl who doesn't need a boyfriend. Let her get her life together and you do the same. There's more to life than trying to boss girls around.
2007-02-19 01:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋