I am divorced with two teenage children. They are old enough where they really arent a factor. The problem is that my boyfriend has hinted to marrige a few times....I am afraid that he may be getting ready to propose.....I love him but I dont know if I want to be married again....I like being financialy seperate...he is not real good with money........I also like living seperatly....hes sloppy where I am a very clean and organized person...etc. I am just afraid that if I accept the proposal I am going to end up broke with bad credit and being his maid....if I dont I am going to lose him. I have tried to talk to him about the cleaning thing......but the money thing I havent because I dont feel that it is my business......what should I do?
2007-02-18 17:13:53 · 10 answers · asked by ttazevert 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have brought up very valid points not to marry this man. You have different wants and needs. If he asks and you turn him down and the relationship ends, then that is okay. Really it is! He deserves to have the things in life he wants, as do you.
However you may want to start hinting that you are not interested in marriage.
2007-02-18 17:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say move on. 1. He's 17 years older than you. 2. If he's already been married and divorced, that is a good explanation that he might not wanna marry someone again. He might be scared that it'll end up the same way. 3. If he already has 3, count 'em 3, teenagers, its no wonder he doesnt want any kids. Teenagers suck and can get on your nerves very easily and sometimes ON PURPOSE. Just sit him down and talk to him about it and if you really wanna get married and have kids and he still doesnt want to, then my advice is to move on. Its no need in spending your time with someone if they dont wanna do the same things with you and then you're miserable because you know it'll never happen. I say try to move on and find someone that wants the same thing you do.
2016-05-24 06:29:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... a toughie.
Want my advice? There are several scenarios.
So when or if he does propose to you say yes; but on two conditions, that he stops being a slob and that if he learns how to control his money. In other words, address the problems directly. It will be hard, and he may say no, In which case you refuse the proposal. Remember, you still have to take care of yourself. If he says he will, then accept. Have him move in with you (If he already hasn't) and have him prove to you that he will follow through on your conditions.
This is kinda how my parents worked it out. My mother accepted my father proposal; but of course, on one condition. That their childeren (Me and my sister) be raised in a certain religeon. My parents marraige worked out great, they are still married.
Hey, but don't rush in to it. If your not ready to get married, then your not ready. This guy may not be the right guy for you. Think it over carefully.
Also, about the money thing, maybe you could offer to handle the money.
Good Luck!
2007-02-18 17:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by Carly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well all i have to say you must be comfortable with him being around your kids and yourself. now days it is hard to know what kind of people are out there. If he is a nice guy thats a big plus it's not always what "materials"some one has although alot of people think that way.my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years and we both have been married before we do not want to do it on paper but he tells people that I am his wife.I know people that have married themselfs with freinds and family there if it is about the piece of paper that bothers you try it with out the piece of paper.you will see you will be much happier.good luck!
2007-02-18 17:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by Bianca H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If something were to happen with my husband I wouldn't want to get married again. So, it depends on why you don't want to marry him. If you really love if and the only reasons are the ones above, I recommend that you attend pre-marital counseling to air out those issues. You would have to talk to him about your concerns and fears before anything else happens.
If you can't get to a place where you are comfortable then don't do it. Finances are the number one reason why couples divorce.
www.parlezentertainment.com
2007-02-18 17:21:30 · answer #5 · answered by Parlez Entertainment 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered it yourself. You can't stand the way he lives, so why live with him. Theres no law that says you have to marry the guy. Act like an adult..If he asks say NO and tell him why. If he leaves there ARE other men...and they aren't sloppy and bad with money...but you don't have to marry them either...
2007-02-18 17:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what u should do is think about the time u had with him and or try and find sum1 that loves u.......and find sum 1 that u can trust and spend time with him and see what u wanted from a guy.....find the same things u both like 2 do cuz i found sum1 that i love and he is the best and he always been they...so i think u can 2...goood luck...
2007-02-20 11:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by Talie N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you're not interested in marrying him cause of your past and if he can't accept it then he wasn't the one for you.
2007-02-18 17:20:10 · answer #8 · answered by padiwan2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should gather guts and tell him to mend his ways if he truly loves you and that he should start earning decent salary prior to marriage. If he does not improve, it is better to forget him.
2007-02-18 17:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that and then he will not be your bf anymore.
Problem solved !
2007-02-18 17:22:21 · answer #10 · answered by ken88dorset 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋