how to cope with being single again?

Question

i've realised i need to break up with my boyfriend cos he's not right for me. but it means being alone again which is hard to face. he;s so good to me, i love the constant companionship and care, and i'm going to miss it heaps. pls don't try and convince me to stay with him, because i know its the situation i'm in love with, not him. how can i learn to live without him, its gonna suck. also, how to stop myself getting back together with him when i'm feeling lonely...

Answer 1

Keep your mind occupied with classes, hobbies, friends, family, healthy eating, exercise, walking, etc. Read self-help books on surviving the loss of a love (there are plenty of them at the library). Go to movies, sporting events, shopping--just keep yourself occupied--so when you get home, you can sleep.

Don't look for another b/f right away--rebounds never work, anyway. Get to know your friends and family again, get to know current events in news and entertainment, get to know what's on TV again.

Good luck, you can do it! Most of us have already done it, and even if it took a while, we did it.

Answer 2

Being in the military I know what it is like being lonely. My relationships will never last past a year because I am always moving. I get stationed in countries where one gets singled out because of the way they look. I have strict rules on who I can hang out with and who I can't. My family is back in the states. Many times I feel isolated. I know what it is to be lonely. The best advice I can give you is to stay busy. Try using your time doing things that make you happy. For instance, take some college courses, hit the gym, or try new hobbies. Not only do these things make a smarter or healthier you, they can also be great for meeting new people. You can meet new friends or a new guy that has the same interests as you. The busier you stay the more you think about yourself and the less you think about him.

Answer 3

Definitely do not try to find someone else to "fill that spot" in your life right away--that is called a rebound relationship!
I totally relate to the feelings you're talking about. Several years ago, my relationship with my boyfriend of two years ended. It wasn't like we weren't able to be friends still (for a while, anyway), but it was hard knowing in my heart that I didn't have someone to be romantic with anymore. Eventually, I got over it and learned to move on--and praise Jesus that I did, because otherwise I would have never met my husband!! :D
But truly, romance is in the heart of every woman. Ask any psychologist, and they'll tell you that a man's first need is sex, but a woman's first need is affection. It's engrained into us, so it's natural to want that permanently.
One of the things that I was forced to do when said boyfriend and I broke up, was to "find myself". Meaning, I didn't have his opinions and personality "clouding" my likes/dislikes, and supressing who I was as an individual anymore. And I ended up finding out SO many things about myself that I hadn't ever known before (for example, I found out that I really didn't like some of the music he listened to...I just wanted to impress him, so I allowed myself to believe that I did for all those years).
So I guess my best encouragement to you would be to find out who you are, without another person in your life. Start going out on your own, slowly, and do things that you were never able to do with a companion. Singleness can actually be very freeing. :)
And more than anything, take heart in knowing that the guy who's really meant for you WILL come along someday--maybe this was just the "new chapter" you needed in your life, in order to meet him!

Answer 4

Don't be in a big hurry to fill "the hole that is left". You need to take stock of your life and find out what you really want out of it. Don't rush into anything you might regret down the road. Life is what you make of it. There are a lot of other guys out there, but just be patient
until the right one comes along. Learn to live single for a while, go out with girlfriends to a movie or something. Who knows, maybe one of your girlfriends has the right guy just for you.

Answer 5

Oh relationships are hard...and love sucks sometimes. If you don't think he is right for you, then don't stay with him. Try to move on and find someone better. If you don't want to be alone, just try hanging out with your friend more..And everybody goes through stages like that where they're single. I've been through thoughs on and off again alot.

Answer 6

u can spend ur time with ur good friends.u can also go to places where u used to go before.whn u feel lonely think of those days u spend together n u will feel a little bit sad but smtime u will feel good.coz human live wit lots of good memories.ok...n also u can go out to shop,to hv a gd dinner wit ur family member or people whom u r close wit.
u can also write abt ur feeling in a book.so tht u will feel sm1is wit u n the person is listening to u.by doing this u will not feel lonely...
n this is the time whn most people get addicted to bad habbits to keep them away from all those memory.but i hope u will not do such thing.jst think tht it was ur part of ur life n jst be it.so carry on n choose a better person whn u r ready to hv one.ok.....i guess u understand...
God bless you.

Answer 7

I know how you feel, except I was the one who got dumped. What I did to prevent myself from going back to him was to avoid him for a few days. Being alone is the same as being in a relationship if you have some friends or something there to distract you. If your mind is busy with something else, then there is no way for you to feel lonely. That's temporary until you get used to it.

Answer 8

In the same boat.
1.Don't try to be "friends" at first.(You'll get back w/him.)
2.Tell im honestly that you are beginning to date others because you feel it's best for you right now.
3.When you're lonely,hang out w/a good couple of other single females.

I've realised that there are many of us in the same boat.
You told my story just now to the "T".
It's getting better for me..it's not easy,but after 6 years he never asked me to marry him and I want that.
Just keep trying.I'm not telling you it does'nt hurt,it just takes effort.

Answer 9

enjoy your new found freedom. you are only lonely if you allow yourself to be lonely. being alone does not mean you have to be lonely. Being alone is pure freedom. love the fact that you are alone. you can come and go as you please. you do not have to answer to anyone. when you want to be with someone. go out and be with someone. then when you had enough ., go home where you will have peace and quite and privacy.single is really the best. after all we are born alone, we die alone. truly we are all on the planet alone. we can just choose to share part of our lives with others. but to be an item or a in committed relationship is really not human. society expects us to form unions to support or lean on someone.

Answer 10

Get out the domicile and bypass.sometime while u think of no person is there for u there is somebody accessible waiting for u.bypass to places the place there guy and that i'm particular u discover a buddy to speak to.enable love locate u do no longer look for romance.Get u some action picture,books and walk take up a number of a while to the wonderful guy come alongside.stable success!