Am I wrong to feel like this or just know what I want in a relationship?

Question

I have been talking to a guy whom I know just like the others I have met, isn't interested in me. He tells me i'm wonderful but at the same time gives my advice on how to meet the right guy (if I'm so great, why is he passing me by?). He is a nice guy but it bothers me that he has 2 young children (he is mid 50's and I presumed when his profile mentioned children they would be grown). He has a good job and makes good money but said that most of his money goes to child support and sending his kids to an expensive private school. I can't help but feel that his priorities would always be with his children even if he were to marry. As a woman I would like to find a guy who would buy me a few nice things and have time for me. I would feel resentful of him spending all his money on his kids and exwife (child support even though the kids live with him more than they do the ex wife). I would like to be able to travel and stuff but with both kids under 10, that would be impossible

my child is almost grown. By the time this man's kids are grown, he will be 65 and ready to retire but then he will be spending all his money sending them to college. I am so tired of running into older men who waited till they were in their 40's to have kids.

Answer 1

I think you should listen to Swim Mom. Maybe she has a clue as to why you're having trouble finding guys to be interested in you.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like this guy knows his priorities. He had a previous marriage and has children. He pays child support and sends his kids to good schools and will send them to college. Wow, sounds like a great guy. Then there's you who isn't even raising her own child, hates her job and will probably never send her own child to college. I'm sorry, why should he change his priorities to take care of you? He had his children first and they should be his top priority. If I were him, I would run as far from you as possible. It's sounds like you are looking for someone to take care of you. If that's what you want then you need to find someone that wants to do that. Don't expect someone to put their kids second, so they can take care of you. If you wanted to travel, etc then maybe you should have planned your life accordingly and worked hard at a career that would provide for that, instead of expecting someone else to hand it to you.

After reading your other posts, you should be working on healing your relationship with your daughter and helping her get a good education. You also have $26,000 in credit card debt, make 700 per month, and don't have enough money to file bankruptcy. Then you're worried about traveling with kids under 10. First, I have three kids under 10 and we travel just fine, most families do. Second, you can't even pay your bills and you are thinking about vacations. Are you living in a fantasy world? Why should a man want to take on that? What do you have to offer him or his kids? Your current situation sounds difficult and I really do feel for you. However, given your hardships, I think you would be a little more compassionate and understanding of others. Either you want a good man or you want a sugar daddy to rescue you from your current situation. You sound very depressed and I think you should get help and work on yourself before you even consider dating. If your not getting enough hours at work, then look for a different job in your free time instead of dating and spending so much time on Yahoo. Traveling with kids under 10 should be the least of your worries. Good luck!

Answer 3

You know the answer... but want another opinion, right? Ok... short and not so sweet, give up hope of having a romantic relationship with this guy. He's enjoying having you chase him, you know that, right? You may not be his type, but he may still like you. I have female friends I consider to be some of the coolest people on earth, but there's no chance for romance there. They're just not my "type"... and, by the way, listen to yourself a little there. "As a woman" and "buy me"? That's not "as a woman". That's "as a gold digger". How about... as a woman, you want to find someone that'll at least be able to pay their own way. This is the 21st century and all, right? Equal rights and things like that?

Answer 4

I think that if you were really that interested in him, you would be interested in the whole package, kids and all. Even though it would make the relationship hard, if you both cared enough, you could overcome it and still have a very romantic relationship.